Dear Bossip: My Man Said I Talk & Nag Too Much, So I Stopped Talking To Him

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

Does the silent treatment work on men?

I have never given my boyfriend the silent treatment but he complains about everything says I talk/nag to much so I have shut the “F” up for 1.5 days. Its KILLING me to not nag at him but I was told by a male colleague not to do that just shut up for a couple of days and he will cave in. Reason we had the tiff was he complained about me packing his lunch and making dinner, his exact words were, “if you want to win me over you don’t have to cook.”  My response was I didn’t know I had to win you over I thought we were past that stage since we live together. So I have given the cold shoulder 1.5 days and I’m DYING to talk a little crap. – Silent Treatment

Dear Ms. Silent Treatment,

LMBAO! Girl, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I know your man is probably enjoying the 1.5 days of you not speaking. Especially if all you do is talk and nag at him.

The problem in your case is not the communication, but how you communicate. It’s what you’re saying. I find it bizarre that folks will get into relationships, move in together, and then complain about their mate’s nagging and talking too much. Didn’t you know that before you moved in together? Didn’t you know that while you were dating? What the hell made you think things would change?

Chile, you have to learn how to filter your words and conversation. And, the only way to do that is to learn how to LISTEN! Yes, LISTEN. I know you probably can go a mile a minute. Your big a** lips just flapping and flapping and flapping. UGH! GIRL, SHUT UP!  When you learn how to LISTEN your life, and relationship will be so much the better. And, LISTENING is that thing you do when you are quiet and pay attention to the other person. LISTEN to what they are talking about and what they are saying to you. Then you reply aptly (Look it up. I don’t have time to explain it).

Giving him the cold shoulder is doing nothing. All you’re doing is giving him ammunition for what he needs to do the next time to get you to SHUT THE “F” UP! When he gets tired of hearing you nag and talk, he will do something or say something like he did before, knowing it will tick you off, and BAM! You give him the cold shoulder, and he laughs and smiles to himself because he has gotten you to do what he wants you to do – SHUT THE “F” UP!

And, the problem is with the statement he made about you “winning” him over. DAMN! That is the telling part of your relationship. He has said to you, “If you want to win me over…” WOW! That means you don’t have him. And, you said he complains about everything, so there are other problems in your relationship and you need to find out what the underlying issue is. The nagging, talking, and winning him over are issues that have bubbled up based on something else. Think about it; you packed his lunch and made him dinner. Most men would love that. A woman who is attentive, and caring. But, something else you’re doing ticked him off, and it’s something you and he have not addressed. Chile, your man is upset because you packed his lunch and makes him dinner. That’s like when you can’t stand someone, you know that person who gets under you skin, and their breathing urks you. When they laugh you all of sudden can’t stand the way they laugh. Every little nuance becomes something big. Yeah, that’s what’s going on in your relationship. Figure it out and you will get to the root of your problem in your relationship.

But, you don’t hear me or are paying attention to anything I’m saying because you’re probably talking while you’re reading this. So, I’m going to SHUT THE “F” UP! – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

     
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