Kimmy Cakes might not want him, but these other hoes are bout to get to’ down, fa sho! Saturday the NYTimes Magazine released a puff piece that seems dedicated to making Kardashian’s soon to be ex-hubby Kris Humphries more likeable. The tagline they ran it with was, “One year after he was dumped by Kim Kardashian and ridiculed on and off the court, Nets forward Kris Humphries is on the rebound, looking for a taste of the action in Brooklyn.” We found it pretty amusing.
Check out an excerpt below:
The sun is shining through the windows of Peter Luger in Williamsburg, the legendary steakhouse that’s been slinging high-end beef since 1887, generations before hipsters flooded the borough with their fixed-gear bikes and artisanal pickles. Now Brooklyn, long a haven for freaks and free spirits, is attracting supersized professional basketball players.
Nets power forward Kris Humphries is one of the new big ballers in town. Slipping on a pair of thick Barton Perreira frames, he heads to the restaurant’s main dining room for his Page Six Magazine photo shoot.
Upon seeing his model costars-a sexy blonde and an exotic brunette-a mischievous grin spreads across his face. “Why did you only get me two? You should have gotten me ten,” he laughs.
After a year tarnished by a quickie 72-day marriage to ample-bottomed celebutard Kim Kardashian, an awkward appearance on her family’s E! reality franchise and the dubious honor of being voted the NBA’s most disliked player, Humphries is ready to hit the reset button.
“Some people just make bad decisions and you just know it’s not what’s meant to be,” he says with an easy charm. “The decisions that you make, you obviously made for a reason. Everything in life for me has just been moving forward.”
The Nets, formerly located in New Jersey, are opening a new state-of-the-art arena-Barclays Center-in the ‘hood, hoping for a fresh infusion of fans and maybe a bit of Brooklyn cool to rub off on their feeble image. It’s the perfect home for Humphries to rebound.
Luckily, that’s his specialty. The 6-foot-9 power forward closed last season as one of the best rebounders in the NBA, with 681 grabs off the boards. And he’s clearly skilled at shaking off ridicule. “Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, you can’t make fun of other people,” he says. “I’m open to being made fun of. You can’t take life too seriously or be too sensitive because it’s like, who wants to live like that?”
LOL @ “Humphries is one of the new big ballers in town”! But really though, this guy has the right attitude about life — you move forward and you learn to laugh stuff off.
Keep reading to see how well he’s been doing that.