Dear Bossip: We Met At The Bar & Have Been Texting & Even Went Out, But I Learned He Has A Man!

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Dear Bossip,

I was at happy hour about two weeks ago, and one of the guys that work there came up to me.

We were having small talk and decided to exchange numbers, and we started texting. I would go to the bar to see him and he would be all up on me. We went out to dinner last Friday. We did not have sex or anything, just yet.

So, on Tuesday I was there and a guy gave me a lap dance and the guy that I’m texting came to me and was like don’t get him F**ked up. I was like I’m not in a relationship with you. LOL! On Saturday I was there and he gave me a hug and a kiss like always when I come in the bar. So, I didn’t think anything of it. So I’m outside of the bar talking to my friends and I see him all boo-loving in the corner with some other guy. I did get made because I’m feeling this guy and he’s boo-loving with somebody else. So, when he gets back in the bar I asked him what was that about and he said that’s my BOYFRIEND!!!!!

I was shocked because he never told me he had a boyfriend. We were talking about stuff like we both were single. We kissed just about every night we saw each other, and he never once said he had a boyfriend. We went to dinner and all, and he paid for it. He even buys all my drinks in the bar. Now, I don’t know what to do because I have somewhat been feeling this guy, but he has a boyfriend.

Please help me! LOL! I know I should just walk away, but he makes me feel good when I’m around him. He puts a smile on my face and he told me I make him feel good when I’m around him. I just don’t understand why he didn’t tell me he had a boyfriend. The great part to the story is his boyfriend is 37-years old and a he is only 22-years old. I’m 23-years old. Help me! What should I do???  – Man At The Bar

Dear Mr. Man At The Bar,

Chile, I see that it doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight when it comes to men and emotions. The dumb gene is rampant and mutating.

Boy, leave him alone! Leave him alone! Leave him alone!

If he is cheating on his boyfriend with you, then he will cheat on you!

If he lied about having a boyfriend, then he is lying to you about other things.

If he is deceiving his boyfriend, then he will and has been deceiving you.

If he is flirting with you, and taking you out to dinner, and making you feel special, then boo boo, he has and is doing this with other men. You are not that special to him. You are not his next boo! And, you are not the man he is going to leave his man to be with.

Chile, he’s a bartender in a bar, thus, he comes in contact with lots of people on a nightly basis. It’s his job to be personable, charming, and engaging. He has to make people feel comfortable because when he does, the more drinks they buy. And, the more drinks they buy, the more he makes in tips. It’s part of his job. And, I’m certain lots of men flirt with him, as he does with them. Lots of men exchange numbers with him, hoping to hook up with him, just as you did.


You’re young. And, the truth is that you’re hot in the damn pants, and just want to sleep with him. Get your head out of your pants and use your got damn common sense! You don’t want a relationship with him. You can’t possibly want a relationship with him. You don’t know him. And, it shows that you only wanted to have sex with him, and that you don’t know anything about him because while you were texting, no SEXTING with him, you never once asked him if he had a boyfriend. You never once inquired if he was in a relationship. You were thinking about jumping his bones and getting it in with him. So, don’t sit up here and act all demure clutching your pearls because you discovered he has a man.

And, look at you! You’re still carrying on with him and not thinking about his boyfriend. You will still sleep with him with the hopes that he will commit to you. HE IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIS MAN FOR YOU! He is just going to sleep with you, like he has done with probably half the men in the bar, and you will be another notch on his bedpost. WALK AWAY WITH YOUR DIGNITY!

He is not worth it. He isn’t worth laying down with and trying to settle down with. He’s shown you who he is. If he can cheat on his man, and act single and do his own damn thing, then he is not a faithful man. He is not ready for commitment. He’s a whore! Do you want a cheater, liar, and manipulator in your life? Do you want to be involved with a man who has no regard for himself, and has no self-worth? He is willing to sell himself for some man buying drinks from him? Really? Really!

Boy, get your young a** out of the bar and into some books. Start building something for yourself, and leave him alone and all those other ragamuffins who don’t want anything for themselves. There are plenty of available, single, good-looking, monogamous, talented, smart, and educated young men your age. But, you’re not going to be able to find them if you’re hanging at the bar hoping to catch some man who is already caught! – Terrance Dean

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