Pure Effing Comedy: “Selena Gomez’s Father” Suing Justin Bieber For Using Stolen Credit Card To Pay For “Member” Enlargement And Buy Yayo For Diddy!

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Drugs Are Bad M'kay, In White Folks News, Jesus Take The Wheel

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

Man Claiming To Be Selena Gomez’s Father Suing Justin Bieber For Stolen Credit Card

According to TMZ reports:

Justin Bieber bought himself a penis enlargement with a stolen credit card … and he’s also cheating on his GF with Ke$ha, Rihanna and Penelope Cruz … this according to a CRAZY new lawsuit filed in court and obtained by TMZ.

Bieber has been sued in Michigan by a man claiming to be Selena Gomez’s father — who makes some of the most insane, and obviously untrue allegations ever documented in court.

Among the highlights:

— “Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my canadian bear rug.”

— “Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth of july 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring kate perry [sic] firework song in my ear drums.”

— “[Bieber] gave selena a std and Bieber stole my credit card to buy him and sean p-ditty combs cocaine to use in drug free school zones.”

— “Bieber also got a penis enlargement with my stolen american express card. ”

The lawsuit concludes … “I’m an emotional mess … America must boycott biebers music!”

We’re not even gonna lie, we haven’t had a laugh this good in a long time. Clearly, this man is out his mind, but we’ll be damned if this isht isn’t funny than a muhfugga.

Only thing that could make it funnier is if we found out this was all truuuuu! LMMFAO

Image via MTV News

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