At 40, Dawn Pieke had just broken up with a live-in boyfriend who cheated on her, but she was ready to have kids. She didn’t want an anonymous sperm donor — “because I hadn’t grown up with a dad myself, it was important to me to have my child know who their dad was.” So she started looking online, and eventually found a Facebook group devoted to something called coparenting.Which leads us to the question of the day… Should 40+ Single People With No Prospects Consider Co-Parenting With A Gay Person Also Seeking A Family?Pieke ended up meeting Fabian Blue, now 41, who was as driven to have children as she was. A few years before, he says, “I literally woke up out of a dream and had this vision of a newborn child, like a mission.” But, he wondered, “How was I going to accomplish that, being an out gay man and not successful in my relationships with men?” He didn’t want to be a sperm donor for a couple — what he wanted was to be an equal partner in raising a child. Coparenting turned out to be the answer. After they met on Facebook (Blue had explored a coparenting website called Co-ParentMatch as well), the two started talking on Skype about their spiritual beliefs, their medical histories, their families, and what kind of parents they’d like to be. Pieke says it was “even more intense than when you first start dating somebody.” Blue agrees. “Dawn reminded me of my youth,” he says. “She has a very ’70s-mommy look, and that [felt] familiar and warm.” As they talked, he says, “we were just jumping off walls, having this great connection. It was one of those things that was meant to be.” After many conversations, Blue decided to move from his home in Australia to the U.S. so they could try to have a baby. Pieke and Blue haven’t consulted a lawyer, but they don’t rule out doing so in the future. For now, they live in the same house, though they may get their own places later on. They each also hope to have romantic relationships someday, but for now their focus is on their daughter, Indigo Pieke-Blue, who was born Oct. 3. Pieke says she and Blue don’t know anybody else who’s coparenting the way they are, but she has met several women over 40 who, after hearing her story, said, “Maybe I should try this.” Blue adds that the two of them hope to serve as an example of another way to make a family.
For Discussion: Should A Single Woman Of A Certain Age With No Romantic Prospects Consider Co-Parenting With A Gay Man?
Posted on November 23rd, 2012 - By Bossip Staff