Pick on Someone Your Own Size
Posted by Bossip Staff
NFL player Larry Fitzgerald has allegedly jacked up his baby mama:
Larry Fitzgerald — the star wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals — has been ordered to stay away from his baby mama and his 11-month-old son after he allegedly knocked her around a room and pulled her hair out.
Angela Nazario claims she brought the couple’s son to visit Larry at his Phoenix home last October when the former lovers began arguing. Nazario alleges in her legal papers filed in Arizona, Fitzgerald attempted to “diffuse the situation” by raising his fist and challenging her to a play fight. Nazario admits she responded by swinging at him and “may have hit his face.”
Fitzgerald then turned from playful to enraged, allegedly pushing Nazario down to her knees. She claims he “grabbed me by my hair with both hands on the back of my head very very hard and tossed me across the room.”
Later, when she tried to leave with her son, Nazario says Fitzgerald “grabbed the back of my neck and slammed me down on the marble floor … [I] was disoriented for awhile and could not get up, I remember he mumbled something about ‘that’s what happens when you try taking my son away from me.’” As she got in the car to leave she realized she had lost “chunks” of hair.
SMH. This sounds somewhat reminiscent of the 3 Stooges – that cat pulled her hair clean out of the scalp! In all seriousness though, f*k these massive football players and their abusive ways. He better receive proper punishment for laying his hands on a woman. And by the way: Damn both of these fools for gettin’ gully in front of the baby. Idiots.
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Shameful. . .
What a non-man.
1st
ok..maybe 2nd, dayum!
1st? I bet she strated to it to renegotiate child support. Wait and see. The last thing she wants is him in jail, she gets no check.
why, Why, WHY?
I really just don’t get it. Why is beating your spouse EVER an option in life?
That bitch most likely deserved it. Gold digging Ho. All Yall Bitches need to step your game up and stop looking for hand outs.
agree with fat cat.
thats why them footballers like white women, because they are easy to beat down.
if that were a black woman, they would have both been arrested and charged.
keeping it real
there are 2 sides to every story I just don’t believe the ” big scary black man” media side. See this is why you don’t marry groupies and goldiggers
Some of you need therapy.
STAT.
Her ass came in that house to start shit and hit that man in his face hoping he would hit her back to fattin her pockets.
lol, im sorry my sensitive side isn’t on but did i read that girl brought her son over and took the first swing and “may have hit him in his face” shame on her dumb azz, she sound like she got problems, obviously she didnt care about startin shyt with her sons father in front of her son…. Of course he was way out of line, done pulled the girl wig out and all…BUT WHY was he ordered to stay away from the baby, that is uncalled for…
They were arguing then decided to play fight…She bogus for that one, they decided to play fight during the argument?????? Females know they want to come up now a days. If he did put his hands on her, what did she say to provoke him??? (not saying that was right, but come on ladies know what buttons to hit to piss a dude off) Lord help them
Thank you pupple thats all Im saying!!!!!
@Purp
I know we’ve had this conversation before on this topic.
A man who hits a woman is not a man — He’s a criminal. And if the allegations in this story are true, he’s a violent criminal.
This type of behavior isn’t tolerable under any circumstances.
Perhaps she should have stuck to white men instead of her money hungry ass trying to go after a black man for his cheese. And, if that bastard goes to jail, he deserves it. He should have stayed with black women instead of getting rich and switching.
Getting hit in the face by a white woman and hit in the pocket book by a black woman..thats a hard one. I bet she was mad cause she signed a prenup.
@Sydney
Yes we have been down this road before and you know you cool wit me but i totally disagree with your position. Her behavior was intolerable just as much as his was, she started the violence according to her own statement and should be held to the same violent criminal standards as him even more so because she brought the baby over into this mess. The story, which mind you is her version, didn’t say he came to her house with their son looking for a fight. I feel no biased towards women who show violent tendencies to not be held accountable for their actions.
Every single case isn’t the same and you can’t just throw them all under “abuse”
At times eye can’t believe the ignorant shit I read on this site. I now see why I have only 7-10 people who comment my blogs, because the rest are busy boxing it out in places like this.
I see BOSSIP has failed to post the fact that FORMER CONGRESSWOMAN Cynthia Mckinney is presently in GAZA being attacked by the Israeli armed forces while trying to deliver medication and food.
Anyway, to the ignorant idiot who said they see why Black men date White women only to get away with beating them shame on YOU! Personally I think those men are a lot like the male and female commenter’s here completely diluted imbeciles with low self esteem. A Black Man will and should defend himself from attack, but a real Black Man would never procreate with an abusive side line cheerleader groupie.
was missing my “R”
PM, what exactly are your issues with black women? Just curious.
And, as far as I’m concerned, violent men should date outside — They’re not desirable whatsever. It is absolutely no loss.
Keep it moving.
BlackLadyDoctor
At times eye can’t believe the ignorant shit I read on this site. I now see why I have only 7-10 people who comment my blogs, because the rest are busy boxing it out in places like this.
I see BOSSIP has failed to post the fact that FORMER CONGRESSWOMAN Cynthia Mckinney is presently in GAZA being attacked by the Israeli armed forces while trying to deliver medication and food.
Anyway, to the ignorant idiot who said they see why Black men date White women only to get away with beating them shame on YOU! Personally I think those men are a lot like the male and female commenter’s here completely diluted imbeciles with low self esteem. A Black Man will and should defend himself from attack, but a real Black Man would never procreate with an abusive side line cheerleader groupie.
***************************************************************************
I feel you I feel you…. and Cynthia Mckinney NEVER gets recognition for all her work but im sure she doesn’t do it for that, but people should def be aware.
*whatsoever*
@Purp
Yes, I see your point, and as we discussed before, there is the option for a man to either call the authorities or remove himself from a potentially confrontational situation. If the facts of this story are true, he used excessive force and did indeed abuse this woman badly.
This type of behavior is inexcusable and I’m not going to sit on a blog read by women every day and try to sugarcoat this very serious, and potentially deadly, issue.
@Sydney ,I have no issue with Black woman I love them, its some of there ways I hate. The same way u feel about some of the black man’s way I’m sure.
That chick is not cute in the face…He needs to be locked up
I don’t think that girl is white.
With all due respect, PM, you tend to throw out highly generalized, negative stereotypes with no distinction between different groups of black women. Hence, my conclusion that you have issues with all sistas.
The funny (or not so funny) thing is the characteristics you loathe can be found among women of all races. I read a WSJ story a few years ago on gold-diggers and their heft divorce settlements, and they were all white.
It is not helpful at all for brothers and sisters to stereotype each other. We have enough outside opposition with which to contend without demeaning one another. It’s not the least bit constructive.
And if you look at my posts on this blog, I haven’t put black men in a box because that would be short-sighted, ignorant, and divisive. There’s good and bad among all of us. I can find just as many undesirable qualities among white men, among Hispanic men, etc., etc.
I see where you coming from Syd but just can’t seem to agree, not that it’s necessary. As long as women keep excusing their actions and not taking responsibility for their situations you will continue to be a “victim”. The same way he could have called the authorities or removed himself from his own house, is the same way she should have exercised the same judgment especially with a baby in her care. I think im confused as to why you keep putting the responsibility of being the bigger person on the man. How come you don’t say She should have thought before she came over or she should not have abused him by hitting him first. You say his force was excessive but have no idea how hard she may have hit him in the face, excusing her from any type of responsibility. I think we all agree that men shouldn’t hit women but at the same time I’d be doing my sistas or women period an injustice if I didnt say that you need to be the bigger person and responsible for your actions which could prevent alot of these domestic situations from occurring. At the end of the day being a real man means being human also.
WHITE WONAM!
*hefty*
@Purp
If a woman assaults a man, he can report it to the proper authorities, and it is considered a crime.
I don’t know anything about this guy, but from the photos and descriptions, this was an incident between an athletic male and a petite former cheerleader. Who do you think has the upper hand in that match-up?
Again, if the facts of this story are correct, not only could he have wounded her badly, he could have killed her. And there are women losing their lives every day in this country in domestic abuse situations.
@Sydney..ok I will chill on those comments, I think both black men and woman got a long way to go on repairing the pain we have caused one another it’s really sad the lack of trust black men and woman have for each other. When really we are the only ones that understand what the other ones truely has to face. That being said I don’t think that man would beat his wife down in front of his son.
What I also find very disturbing is that there is a pervasive thinking some in the black community that domestic violence is somehow acceptable, that is almost expected and sanctioned in a way. A lot of cases go unreported, and some of those situations, tragically, end in death.
@pm
Well, thank you for considering to temper your comments because blanket vitriolic statements do NOT have any helpful impact on the strained relations between sisters and brothers of which you speak.
Also, why would you think would not beat his “wife down in front of his son?” You do that other cases of that nature have occurred — I recall the case that is fairly recent of the black police officer who killed his wife (or they have been unmarried) in front of their child and wrapped her body in a rug. I believe the boy recounted details of the scene for investigators. It was a horrible case.
*they may have been unmarried*
Black on black domestic abuse = Foreplay. You black women know you love it. In your eyes, it’s a form of BOOTY TENDERIZER
@Sydney
Thats the thing Syd, your still excusing her totally and holding the man completely responsible. The same way you and I can see he is more powerful is the same way she can see that..as a general rule men are more powerful than woman which is common sense. Physical power does not equate to mental power so saying he should have, could have, would have done this or that is in someway saying he has more mental ability than her and she could not have done the same thing…she “should have” stayed home she “should not have hit him”…..I never said what he did wasn’t wrong, but im saying in no way is she not partly responsible for what happened to her including her injuries. No matter how I feel about men hitting women I can excuse her actions.
Also, most situations that are tragic and result in death, there is a history of some sort of abuse it seems. It isn’t a one time we got into an altercation type situation and in a lot of those cases the women know what type of man they are with but they stay.
One of my friends kept hitting her boyfriend in the middle of the street, he restrained her and threw her on the ground hard and the police locked them both up. THEY LET HIM GO AND KEPT HER, because everybody who saw it admitted he shoved her to the ground but that she had beat up on him first and continuously provoked his actions. Never had he been abusive to her prior to that event and they had been together for 5 or more years. Every situation is different and Its an injustice to just automatically label men abusive violent criminals.
“cant excuse her actions”
This story just seems full of ridiculous holes. They decided to “play fight” and then she hit him “too hard” and he retaliated…Yeah right!!!
I think violence much less domestic violence is a horrible thing, BUT, the only time I can ever see myself resorting to that level is when a woman is trying to keep me away from my kids.
I have never been married and I have no children but I find it really sick when women try and play games with the children during domestic disputes. My mom did it to my dad and the children and the ones that end up suffering.
I wish women would stop this SICK game they play with their kids. My 2 cents!!!
Domestic violence goes both ways which seems to be ignored by women. The “I can hit a man as hard or as much as i want and he should be the bigger person” Is a very disturbing false sense of reality. you shouldn’t have a belief that you can go around and hit on anybody without retaliation no matter what your sex is.
And the day I ignore the fact that some women are down right evil, trifling and violent is the ive gone stupid. Im a woman and I know how the game go.
I’m telling you she went over there to get that beat down. This will be horrible for swirl relations. I guess those white woman are not as dumb as I thought.
“is the day ive gone stupid”
i totally agree with FAT/Cat bith get a job! He’s stupid for getting a white knock up anyway… That’s what they do call the police if you can’t handle a black then don’t get with one stupid. I don’t feel sypanthy for her at all. and guess what for his stupid ass child support dummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol@pm…she probly did
i been reading comments on here for a long ass time. yall cant debate sydney. she too smart. just give it up. yall aint on her level.
he better look at what happened to o.j
Typical story retold all too often. These guys with physical abilities to make a very good living in sports don’t have much in between the ears. The faster they rise the harder they fall, and they will.
@Purp
If she hit him, I believe she should be held culpable for her action.
But that in no way warranted what followed afterwards, according to the above account.
If a man restrains a woman who is assaulting him, I think that is a different matter that does not fall under the umbrella of abuse. I never said that women do not abuse men as well.
But, if the reported details are correct, when you pull a woman’s hair out and slam her on the floor, that’s a different matter — It is a criminal matter.
I just saw my above typos. Please pardon my errors.
LOL @ Kirby
@kirby, sydney. she too smart lol.. you see I backed down….There are alot of really smart people on Bossip. I normally only go to music blogs cus I hate goosip this is the only gossip blog I go to and its for the people not the topics.
kirby
Fuck Sydney! I kicked her ass in a debate two weeks ago regarding weight and race. Yeah she’s smart, but like most women of above average intelligence, she sometimes lets’ her emotions get the better of her…Besides, she’s not the most objective when it comes to gender issues, which negates most of her logic.
@pm
So did Nicole Simpson ask for a “beatdown” from OJ prior to her murder?
@Dr. Funk
Wow, is it that serious? And I read that someone took over for you during our discussion, no?
@Dr.funk lol …Sydney emotional sometimes I will start lookin for it when she post.
HERE IS THE WHOLE THING RIGHT HERE
In light of Michael Vick,Pacman Jones, and Plaxico Burress I seriously doubt this guy Fitzgerald who by the way is one of the more modest and light hearted wide recievers In the NFL blatantly abused the 5 foor 5 mother of his child. Point 1: Larry is coming of a Monster year which landed the cardinals in the playoffs..say it with me CHA CHING!!
Point 2: An incident now the court proceeding would procees just in time with Larrys signing of his new contract…CHA CHING!! Point 3: NOBODY randomly decides to beat a spouse down specially a famous athlete it had to be a history…that being said if it is a history WHY GO TO HIS HOME BY YOURSELF TO TALK ABOUT A TOUCHY SUBJECT AND SMACK HIM IN THE FACE??
The Prossecution Rest Your Honor. Court Is Adjourned.
@Syd….i read typos like they aren’t even typos so ur good, lol…both they azz need to have some criminal proceedings going on and she needs to see a counselor if she makes a habit of hitting/punching football players in the face. I can’t call him all sorts of criminals cause that’s her side of the story and we haven’t heard his. and the story def sounds suspect.
SMH @ Athletes and White Women. (Looking For My Michelle Obama)
Hey, y’all ease up offa Syd…
Any woman who likes Lady Day and Nina Simone is o.k. in my book.
…and Josephine Baker… [goes in2 trance] with the banana miniskirt… shaking and jiggling her… oh nevermind!
Aren’t most women emotional at times? lol
lol@the smartest brotha
i guess the point of all my comments were that I dont feel no sympathy or remorse for her azz.
Hi HF!
Happy New Year!
LOL @ your Josephine Baker vision
I just like to fact that one min bossip blogger will cuss your ya ass out the next be givin some real talk.
Happy New Year Sydney.
Hey, Josephine was super-nova back when she was dancing in Paris. I understand later she had regrets about the Jezebel/wild woman stereotype. Did you see the HBO bio starring Lynn Whitfield? That banana miniskirt was COLD!
MMmmmm… makes me wanna peel it off… with her permission of course!
Ok sorry, what was the topic again?
LOL @ pm
Yeah, things are very interesting on here, and change from minute to minute.
I also confess that it’s the bloggers here who keep me coming back. I don’t find a lot of the threads that interesting, but I always seem to learn something new on here from a fellow poster.
The boilerplate response for these types of violent situations is outdated. i don’t know what kirby was reading, but i think that purrple is actually the one right on point. how someone could read that weak a$$ account of what happened from the alleged victim and not find fault with BOTH parties is a sure sign of bias imho. and if she had legal counsel b4 putting out a statement with so many holes in it, then she needs to fire them.
@HF
LOL, yes, I did watch the Lynn Whitfield bio on HBO, and I loved it.
I have a print of Josephine in her banana skirt at home.
Maybe I’ll use it as a gravie at some point — A real photo of her in her glory may be too much, don’t you think? lol
@ Sydney
Here and I quote the late, great Luther Vandross:
“Never 2 much… never 2 much… NEVER 2 MUCH!”
IT’S THe bytches FAULT !
LOL @ HF
You bring up an interesting point though about the Jezebel archetype. I have mixed views on that topic. What do you think?
@pm
where the smart people at? i aint seen many.i feel ya. I aint never tried to debate sydney. she would eat my ass up. i was at work one day and someone had the fuckin nerve to call themselves a fuckin intellectual. i was laughing so hard dude. i wanted to tell the chick you have common sense, i have common sense. alot of people have common sense on here, but yo ass aint intelligent. Sydney intelligent and that blaq chick pretty smart too.
@dr. funk
i feel ya. she do be emotional sometimes, but the chick still smart as hell.
LOL @ kirby
I will admit to anyone that I’m an emotional person — always have been. I still bawl when I watch “The Color Purple,” and I’ve memorized just about every line in that movie.
I’m working on it, though.
@ Sydney
I dunno, that is a good question. Jezebel was a term that originally meant an evil woman, but later on became synonymous with being a “ho”. Similarly to “ho”, I think it is a term that has lost it’s original meaning.
Wasn’t Jezebel fed to the dogs or something?
It was my understanding that the Biblical Jezebel was in fact, faithful 2 her husband…
I love Sade’s Jezebel. That was my shit. That’s the song i played when i slipped a rufie in this fine ass bitches rum and coke. Ho didn’t know what hit her, but she did have a smile on face when she woke up.
@HF
I forgot the details of what happened to Jezebel. You did pique my interest with your post on how Ms. Baker felt later about how her sensuality was depicted or perceived.
There are other archetypes such as the mammy and Sapphire that have also haunted black women, IMHO.
A friend and I had a conversation this week about Taraji Henson’s role in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and whether it could be perceived as stereotypical. We both thoroughly enjoyed the movie and Henson’s performance, but I can see how some may view it as a throwback to some earlier roles held by black actresses.
@ Sensitive Black Man
I 4got about Sade’s jawn! I’m going 2 have 2 play that when I get home. Whatever happened 2 the lovely Helen Folasade Adu?
@HF
Here’s a bit that I found online about the Jezebel archetype, which was applied to black women to paint them as lascivious and morally loose:
“There is a myth of power tied to sexuality that is a distortion of the truth of victim and victimizer. According to Carolyn West the rationalization of the rape and forced breeding of enslaved black women was justified through the Jezebel archetype. Instead of acknowledging this sexual victimization, slave owners portrayed Black women as promiscuous, immoral Jezebels who seduced their masters. This image gave the impression that Black women could not be rape victims because they always desired sex. This image also created the fallacy that black females hold power over their victimizers.”
@sydney
feel ya. i know its a woman thang sometimes and yall cant help it. you need to start tellin some of these common sense muh fuckas they aint intelligent. just say bitches yall aint on my level and walk the fuck away. you dont seem arrogant but some of the common sense people think they a fuckin einstein by the way they talk to people.
LOL @ Kirby
I have to ask, can you give me an example?
@sydney
example of what
@Kirby
The “common sense people”
@ Sydney
I was wanting 2 c that movie. I’ve heard some interesting viewpoints about Taraji’s character in that film. Interesting 2 note that “mammy” comes up as a common description of her character -especially given the Oscar buzz.
I remember watching the academy awards a couple of years ago when she was up there singing “It’s Hard out Here 4 a pimp.” I was SOOOOOOoooooo embarassed!!!! Even Terence Howard looked uncomfortable. Don’t b surprised if she wins a best supporting actress nod, let alone a win 4 this film. I’m sure the academy would love 2 reward her again 4 ANOTHER stereotypical performance.
Just like Hattie McDaniel (mammy)… Halle (”make me feel good”)… Denzel (corrupt drug dealing cop)…
Sigh…
@sydney
i aint doing that shit. they the people who talk to other people like they the fuckin smartest people on this here blog. i seen more women do it.
@HF
Yeah, I hear ya.
I still can’t believe “It’s Hard Out Here 4 a Pimp” won an Oscar. That was a low moment for black America, IMHO.
Monster’s Ball really disturbed me, and that sex scene between Halle and Billy Bob was bestial. I watched that film once and never again.
Similarly, Denzel’s role in Training Day was one of my least favorite. I thought he deserved the Oscar years ago for his spot-on portrayal of Malcolm X. That movie sent chills through me.
Have you seen Doubt yet? I think Viola Davis may receive a supporting actress Oscar nod as well. She delivered a powerful performance in one scene.
Gotcha, Kirby.
Yeah, arrogance is off-putting. Modesty is the best policy.
The smartest woman up in this here bitch is Kigali. She always on point.
@ Sydney
Interesting post on the Jezebel history. It’s not surprising 2 note that slave masters annointed female black slaves as Jezebels. I guess they felt that those “Jezebels” were imploring them 2 rape them…
How did Sapphire come about?
THIS HOE IS A GOLD DIGGER. THATS WHY SHE GOT DONE UP. SHE IS 12 YEARS HIS SENIOR. SHE IS ALSO AN EX RAIDERS CHEERLEADER. ONE LOOK AT THAT UNIFORM CAN TELL U IT WAS IN THE 80′S. SHE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET PREGNANT AND GET HIS CHECKS OLE COUGAR ASS. HE IS STILL WRONG, BUT SHE GOT HERSELF IN THIS SHITUATION.
lol@ the sensitive black man. i feel where she be coming from
test
OK, I’m having trouble posting.
HF, here’s a link to info on the origins of the Sapphire archetype:
http://abagond.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/the-sapphire-stereotype/
So yall bossip women gonna get yall drank and fuck on tonight? Start 2009 with a BANG!
@HF
Also, on a another note on the Jezebel archetype, do you believe that to some extent, some of us have absorbed this stereotype designed generations ago to subjugate black women as a truth?
If you look at some of the posts on this very blog, for example, there are many who paint sisters as hypersexualized individuals, even if they’re engaging in behaviors displayed by women of other races. I’ve heard alternating criticisms of black women as possessing issues with expressing their sexuality (usually used in comparing them with women of other races) or being uber-sexual (i.e. lascivious).
Hey Sydney>>>I agree w/the posters here that said you are one of the most intelligent and well-spoken on Bossip. I don’t consider you emotional, but passionate about your beliefs (however, there is nothing wrong with being emotional in the least) and you get your point across. Those that don’t get it, won’t ever so why waste your breath. Do your thing girl, and keep telling the truth.
Happy New Years to you and your family.
Wow, good questions there Sydney.
Well, IMHO, I think many of us have indeed absorbed these brainwashed steretypes as gospel. Historically, black women have had the Jezebel stereotype on 1 side, and the sexless mammy on the other.
I agree that yesterday’s “saffires and jezebels” as purveyed by white oppressors has evolved in2 today’s “ho”… sadly, more frequently purveyed by black men as well as black women. (Don Imus notwithstanding) That right there should tell u how much black people have been programmed.
Interesting 2 note that “ho” evolved from the “ebonic” pronounciation of “whore.” (Talk about a slave mentality -nevermind the swirl)
Yes, these stereotypes unfortunately persist, and 2 b cynical about it, I don’t think it’s going 2 change anytime soon.
Hey WordtotheWise!
Happy New Year to you and your family as well.
You’re so sweet! You’re among the posters I consider to be the most intelligent and well-spoken — I look forward to reading your posts.
Thank you, sweetie! I appreciate that. I know I can get raggedy sometimes, but you know some of them will take you there. However, you remain calm and I don’t ever recall you resorting to name calling. That’s a good look.
@HF
It’s interesting that you brought up Don Imus — If I recall correctly, part of his defense over the whole “nappy-headed ho” debacle was that this is the language that he heard black men use in relation to black women.
I definitely agree with you that many of us have adopted these destructive notions as gospel and have used them as weapons against one another. You can see it hear in the daily black men vs. black women battles.
On a side light note, I knew that “ho” had officially entered the mainstream lexicon when I heard it uttered by a white male contestant on Jeopardy some years ago. I couldn’t believe it.
@WordtotheWise
Girl, I understand — There are some very abrasive posts on here at times.
I try to maintain my cool, but I do think it’s interesting that while we’re discussing archetypes, I feel that there is extra pressure on me as a black woman to maintain my composure at all times, even when I’m being maliciously attacked or maligned. And I think there are posters on this blog who are aware of that reality and try to manipulate it when they aggressively confront sisters. They know that if they get the stereotypical “angry” reaction, they’ve won.
@The Sensitive Black Man, I love Kigali posts. she seems like she would defend the black man to no end. Even though sometimes she can be offensive to the ladies
SMDH’s.. Posts are brutal
I think Kigali and SMDH are polar opposites — They just direct their frustrations at opposite genders.
They also both distinguish between black “males” vs. black “men” and black “females” vs. black “women.”
SMDH is the Devil! Kigali is the Light! She’s the black man’s Superman! I luvvvvv her. She be wifey material.
I actually it’s a little ironic when men praise Kigali while criticizing SMDH. The anger and irritation they feel with SMDH’s posts is the same many sisters feel with Kigali’s generalized posts.
Neither brothers nor sisters like being placed beneath a myopic, stereotypical label that diminishes who they are as individuals.
I always chuckle when someone uses the term “wifey.” To me, it’s like saying I’m a little pregnant.
Either you’re a “wife” or you’re not.
It’s all about perspective. Would you rather go into the Belly of Beast (SMDH) or into the loving, supportive embrace of an Angel (Kigali)? As a blackman, i’m gonna be in that loooonnng line.
Sydney
I always chuckle when someone uses the term “wifey.” To me, it’s like saying I’m a little pregnant.
Either you’re a “wife” or you’re not.
That’s because you tend to overanalyze and lack a true sense of humor. Don’t be such a Stefford.
Are you the same “Sensitive Black Man” who made a blanket statement about sisters in the other thread today (the one with the young woman with the unfortunate stain)?
Methinks you need to listen to some more Ralph Tresvant, Mr. Sensitivity himself before you claim that title.
Awww girl that was just my ol’ Bait n’ Switch. I do what i do cuz deep down, i’m just a flawed broken down mockery of the human condition. I need help!
Domestic violence is never the answer. But as people have said, there are two sides to every story.
I have seen all too often women do what this woman did and expect the man to take it. I do not condone men hitting women at all (I actually volunteer with domestic violence victims). However, in this case, I don’t believe she was a domestic violence victim. There is a difference.
She didn’t mention him ever putting his hands on her before. It is like a kid playing with a bees nest. If you keep hitting at it…the bees are going to get tired and sting your arse. Now…do you blame the bees for going extra hard? Or do you blame yourself for messing with them in their home?
She should never have hit him. And he should never have hit her back. Hitting her back, doesn’t make him less of a man. It makes him someone with an anger problem.
Sometimes people snap. And do things completely out of character. We all have that button that will make us blank. And apparently being slapped in his face, was his.
Word to women, don’t do this ignorant ish and then cry foul when the dude snaps. Treat people with dignity and respect. Don’t put your hands on someone and then get crazy when they hit back harder.
Word to men, do not deal with women who will have your arse locked up. Because sometimes it will only take one little thing to send you to the orange jumpsuit. That stuff is not cute.
And word to all, never be with a person who abuses you…male or female. Because the longer you stay…the harder it is to leave. And in long term abusive situations, when you leave your life is really at risk.
@Sensitive Black Man
Is that “Stepford?”
No, I don’t lack a sense of humor — Don’t take it personal. I’m laughing at your posts silently in my mind.
@Sensitive Black Man
“I need help!”
LOL, well, you said it, I didn’t.
she may have hit him.. she hit him first but he gets arrested..
black men stop marrrying poor white gold diggin trash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sydney
@Sensitive Black Man
Is that “Stepford?”
I rest my case.
LOL @ Sensitive Black Man
Well
Domestic violence is never the answer. But as people have said, there are two sides to every story.
I have seen all too often women do what this woman did and expect the man to take it. I do not condone men hitting women at all (I actually volunteer with domestic violence victims). However, in this case, I don’t believe she was a domestic violence victim. There is a difference.
She didn’t mention him ever putting his hands on her before. It is like a kid playing with a bees nest. If you keep hitting at it…the bees are going to get tired and sting your arse. Now…do you blame the bees for going extra hard? Or do you blame yourself for messing with them in their home?
She should never have hit him. And he should never have hit her back. Hitting her back, doesn’t make him less of a man. It makes him someone with an anger problem.
Sometimes people snap. And do things completely out of character. We all have that button that will make us blank. And apparently being slapped in his face, was his.
Word to women, don’t do this ignorant ish and then cry foul when the dude snaps. Treat people with dignity and respect. Don’t put your hands on someone and then get crazy when they hit back harder.
Word to men, do not deal with women who will have your arse locked up. Because sometimes it will only take one little thing to send you to the orange jumpsuit. That stuff is not cute.
And word to all, never be with a person who abuses you…male or female. Because the longer you stay…the harder it is to leave. And in long term abusive situations, when you leave your life is really at risk.
******************************************************************************
co sign 100%
a mother is her baby’s first teacher, she should be ashamed of her behavior just as much as he.
@HF
It’s interesting that you brought up Don Imus — If I recall correctly, part of his defense over the whole “nappy-headed ho” debacle was that this is the language that he heard black men use in relation to black women.
_______________________________________________
Yep. He blamed black men -particularly rappers 4 what he said. Though by no means a valid excuse 4 his action, his implication that black people r casual and accepting with this term IS valid. Like I said, we r programmed by years of being told who and what we r. So if Imus wanted 2 follow his argument 2 it’s logical conclusion, he should have said: “it’s a result of white people calling black women sirens, and loose whores 4 so long, those black idiots don’t know any better.”
Remember how the Faux News characterized Michelle Obama as a “baby mama.” Certainly didn’t happen 2 Cindy McCain, huh?
Y we r the only race 2 degrade ourselves and each other is a mystery 2 me.
_________________________________________________
I definitely agree with you that many of us have adopted these destructive notions as gospel and have used them as weapons against one another. You can see it hear in the daily black men vs. black women battles.
_________________________________________________
A Bossip trusim! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
I’m really not sure what the deal is with this civil war between black women and men. The way I c it, BOTH genders have played our parts in messing the black community up in a lot of ways. I’ve never been down with 1-sidedness, because there is more than enough BLAME 2 go around. The ridiculousness of these “swirl” threads amuse me, and I try 2 temper the bickering with a little humor, but whoooo….
These circular arguments get us nowhere and just fosters resentment and counter-productiveness.
___________________________________________________
On a side light note, I knew that “ho” had officially entered the mainstream lexicon when I heard it uttered by a white male contestant on Jeopardy some years ago. I couldn’t believe it.
__________________________________________________
That’s funny. I read a book called “Ghetto Nation” by Cora Daniels. She had a similar epiphany when she watched an episode of “The Simple Life.” She said when Paris Hilton said “this truck is so ghetto” when she couldn’t start it, she knew it was time 2 speak up! HA!
If “ho” ever enters Webster’s, that will TRULY b the end of days!
I want can Kagali cook. I swear she must be related to Michelle O.
I knew “ho” had arrived when Buffy called Drucilla a “ho” in Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
@HF
It also bothers me that even after the huge furor over Imus, there are still references among some blacks to sisters as “nappy-headed hos.” And we expect other races to respect us. While the negative references to blacks did not originate with us, we cannot continue to allow them to fester and to weaken one another.
To be honest, that hurts, particularly after so many blacks — both brothers and sisters — spoke up during that episode.
Why do we fail to muster up the same outrage when we commit these offenses against each other?
By the way, Sensitive Black Man, I briefly re-visited that thread, and I see that your “bait-and-switch” mission was accomplished. Some women have some very heated things to say to you.
You must be so proud.
Sydney, sorry it took me so long to respond. I agree with you 100%. There is extra pressure not only on you and all black women in general. We are not supposed to react even though we are being maligned and attacked on all fronts. It’s open season on sistahs. The funny thing is that it comes from the very ones (black men – not all, but some) that despise the same thing done to them. They also find an excuse to give women of the other races a pass when we all know they participate in the same behavior we are accused of. I guess it’s not about the action, but the race of the person doing the action. How hypocritical is that?
I also find it ironic that they cosign Kigali (Lord knows this woman hates black women), yet hates SMDH.
@HF
“If “ho” ever enters Webster’s, that will TRULY b the end of days!”
Now, I hate to tell you this, brother, but it (sigh) already has:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ho%5B2%5D
@WordtotheWise
I told a girlfriend that being a black woman is sometimes like being in a two-front war — the daily one waged against you by Corporate America, by people who don’t look like you, and the one waged by some of our own brothers.
I can’t express anger, or else I’m a Sapphire.
I can’t be sensual, or else I may be labeled a Jezebel.
I can’t restrict my sexuality, or I risk being viewed as uptight and undesirable.
And on and on. . .
Sydney, this right here is the TRUTH: I actually it’s a little ironic when men praise Kigali while criticizing SMDH. The anger and irritation they feel with SMDH’s posts is the same many sisters feel with Kigali’s generalized posts.
Neither brothers nor sisters like being placed beneath a myopic, stereotypical label that diminishes who they are as individuals.
______________________________________________
Break it on down, Sydney! Kigali defends black men at all cost even when they are wrong, wrong, wrong. People like her can’t see beyond their maniacal rage and anger. Some black men rarely, if ever, defend black women, yet they want to cosign Kigali and expect that we are to stand with them at all costs. Not me. I stand with someone who is loyal to me, and that has nothing at all to do with their race.
@WordtotheWise
To be honest, and this is after months of reading SMDH’s posts, I think that she’s defending the honor of black women on some level. And she has said as much.
I disagree with much of the language (particularly the slurs and stereotypes) she uses, but she expresses the pain and frustration that is felt by a number of sisters who do not feel free to express it. It’s the pain you feel when you openly voice your love and support for men who openly and unequivocally detest you, and they share your skin tone.
ABSOLUTELY, SYDNEY! Yes, the list goes on a on. We get dealt the double-edged sword all around, and many wonder why so many sisters have attitudes. You’d think that since bm/bw have the same or similar experiences, we’d be allies, but somehow that’s changed. It didn’t used to be this way back in the day. I wonder if integration had anything to do with this?
I bet Kigali got a nigga that will never leave, while SMDH on the verge of domestic violence.
*I think that she thinks she’s defending the honor*
I also found it ironic that many posters voiced their opinion that they thought SMDH was white because they couldn’t believe a black woman could express such opinions.
Now, I hate to tell you this, brother, but it (sigh) already has:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ho%5B2%5D
________________________________________________
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Every1 save your souls NOW!!!!!!
Malcolm X taught himself in prison by copying the dictionary from cover 2 cover. Imagine him doing that today.
I guess I should be happy that Merriam-Webster confirmed what I said about the etymology of the word ‘ho’, but DIZAMMMMMMMMNNNNN…
@WordtotheWise
It’s so interesting that you brought up integration (thank you!) because I do believe (and this has been analyzed in-depth by a number of scholars) that there were a number of repercussions, both positive and negative, in the black community.
I think a lot of sisters who have “attitudes” are, in fact, depressed. A number of them also use food as comfort, which leads to other health issues. I think if we started a real, honest discussion of what a number of us feel, we would find that pain is at the root of the internal issues that some sisters have.
Sydney, I understand SMDH all the way. I once said that people may not like her delivery, but many times she’s on point. She will, if I’m not mistaken, give props to black men when they deserve it. My sister and I were having this discussion several days ago when she was on youtube and was listening to some of the most vile, evil things said about black women from black men, so I understand SMDH’s frustration and anger. Also, rarely to other black men who profess such a love for black women stand up for us. These negative comments are not overlooked by people of other races that have noticed the serious problem going on in the black race. We can’t even unify ourselves, yet we expect others to treat us with respect and dignity?
@HF
It also bothers me that even after the huge furor over Imus, there are still references among some blacks to sisters as “nappy-headed hos.” And we expect other races to respect us. While the negative references to blacks did not originate with us, we cannot continue to allow them to fester and to weaken one another.
To be honest, that hurts, particularly after so many blacks — both brothers and sisters — spoke up during that episode.
Why do we fail to muster up the same outrage when we commit these offenses against each other?
__________________________________________________
U mean like D.L. Hughley? Ugh. I said he was wrong 4 saying that in public, and I’ll say it again: T’wasn’t cool.
Yeah, we shouldn’t excuse black people from saying and doing idiotic things we wouldn’t accept from any other race.
That’s the same way if Terry McMillan never writes another anti-black man book, it wouldn’t bother me at all.
@Purp,
Eye kidd…
I rarely read the stories here. I go to democracynow for that. My readers are uptight, so I enjoy the various prospectives and comedy the people who comment here offer.
I’ll work on my humor
@WordtotheWise
“These negative comments are not overlooked by people of other races that have noticed the serious problem going on in the black race. We can’t even unify ourselves, yet we expect others to treat us with respect and dignity”
I’ll take it one step further and say that I believe this has led to a particularly perilous situation for black women when you consider the horrendously negative images that have been broadcast of us around the world. I believe men are the protectors of the race, and when we are denied that protection, it leaves us open for all sorts of attacks.
I believe that’s why many sisters felt an intense sense of pride and joy when they look at the love and respect expressed by Barack for Michelle. To have that very public image of a black man expressing his adoration — as well as his protection — of a black woman is powerful beyond words.
Sydney, yes, yes, yes! The more integrated we’ve become, the more we’ve lost our sense of unity and dignity that we once showed during slavery and the Civil Right’s Movement. As the decades of moved on, we somehow lost our sense of direction. It brings a new meaning to the term, “Divided we stand, united we fall.” We are seeing the fall out as we speak.
Sisters and depression = overeating, anger, and discouragement. Wow, that’s another whole topic that could go on for days, yet how many forums have discussed these issues? I hope that bm/bw can at one point come to a place where we are able to discuss and listen to the issues that plague us so we can come to a better understanding.
Oh, and I don’t believe SMDH is white, but I do question whether Kigali is a female. Sydney, in my 45 years on this earth, I have NEVER heard a person have so much contempt for their own race and gender. That’s why I’ve questions her all along.
@HF
“U mean like D.L. Hughley? Ugh. I said he was wrong 4 saying that in public, and I’ll say it again: T’wasn’t cool.”
Not only D.L. (and I hate his show on CNN), but Damon Wayans as well (referring to his interview on Don Imus on The View). But I’ve also seen references among brothers to “nappy-headed hos” on blogs as well.
I don’t know of many brothers who like Terry McMillan, but I really don’t see her books as “anti-black man,” but that’s my opinion. Isn’t there a male counterpart of hers in the literary world?
I’m also referring to black-on-black violence — The situation deserves more national attention.
I have a question 4 u Sydney: what was your take on the whole “n!gg@$ ain’t $##+”, as well as the “I don’t need no man” movements that also contributed 2 the current situation?
I think your perspective would b very insightful.
@WordtotheWise, What if they are the same person
Swirling faggot Atlanta gone knock his bitch ass team out of the first round playoffs
@WordtotheWise
“Sisters and depression = overeating, anger, and discouragement. Wow, that’s another whole topic that could go on for days, yet how many forums have discussed these issues?”
I agree that this warrants a very serious discussion, but it can’t be done here. I absolutely believe there is a correlation between the rate of obesity among black women and their feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and, in some cases, rejection. And it’s a vicious cycle because the more that sisters are told that they’re unattractive, unsuitable, etc., the more that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“I have NEVER heard a person have so much contempt for their own race and gender.”
Ditto.
His squeaky clean image is going to take a hit with this one. He had no business putting his hands on her, but she also better learn how to keep her hands to herself. I don’t agree with women who think they can put their hands on men and have nothing happen to them.
Sydney, didn’t McMillan write Waiting 2 Exhale? I might have my authors mixed up.
If there is a male Terry McMillan… not 2 get all Farenheit 7800 on ‘em, but they collectively need 2 have all thier books burned.
“Farenheit 451″
@HF
“I have a question 4 u Sydney: what was your take on the whole “n!gg@$ ain’t $##+”, as well as the “I don’t need no man” movements that also contributed 2 the current situation?”
I think there are a number of factors that have led to our current situation. I think some of the anger comes from what WordtotheWise and I discussed about the feelings of pain, desertion, etc. that exist among some sisters, and, in turn, they develop a tough exterior that allows them to mistakenly believe that they can carry the load by themselves, with kids and all. Then you have the constant bombardment of debilitating stats about the number of single-parent households, and it reinforces the belief among some that sisters cannot depend on men to help them raise their children.
I also have long despised the “Strong Black Woman” mantra that some sisters have taken up proudly. I think, conversely, that a number of us aren’t as strong as we think, that we, in fact, have the same desires as women of other races to have relationships, marriages, and families, and we are, in fact, stronger as a commmunity when we are unified with our male partners.
I think, as PM, wrote earlier in this thread, that there is a groundswell of unresolved pain on both sides that we have not adequately addressed. In reality, we do need each other, we do understand each other’s struggles because we live it from day to day, and we both crave love, respect, and understanding.
@HF
Yes, Terry McMillan wrote Waiting to Exhale (which I read and saw the movie), but I personally didn’t see it as anti-black man book. From what I remember, there were quality brothers represented as well.
But I can understand how you would have a different perspective as a brother. I know some black men hated The Color Purple as well and saw it as offensive.
Preach, Sydney. That’s EXACTLY right. You remind me so much of my sister. The way you broke that down – girl, I can’t add anything to it.
pm, I don’t think they are, but if they were, they are polar opposites of each other. I guess there’s no way of knowing. Some people are trolls, and they play those kinds of games on the Internet.
@WordtotheWise
I’m enjoying this discussion. Are you?
Also, do you ever feel you have to be sort of a “Super-Sister,” like you have to prove that there are black women who don’t fit into the myriad categories that have been created for us?
Sydney, I realize Bossip is not the place to discuss these issues. I also thought of something else. I feel it is crucial for black parents to teach their daughters to love themselves regardless because we live in a world that does not and will not honor us for the strong, resilient women we are. We cannot for the life of us based our sole existence and self-worth on anyone else’s short-sighted vision of who we are. We must learn to love ourselves and see our value so that no matter what anyone says, we can stand tall and know we have value. This can be hard to do, but we must, for the life of us and our sanity.
@ Syndey
Good points. Agreed, the reasons 4 the breakdown in black men/women relations r many. I was specifically addressing 1 in particular. U discussed how u appreciated that Michelle O seemed “protected” by Barack. That is an understandable and currently popular sentiment. Yet that contradicts the entire “I don’t need no man” thing.
Not putting it on u, just trying 2 get 1 person’s perspective.
And the only brother in WTE worth anything was the dude who got with the woman who had a teenager. Otherwise, it was straight up “n!gg@$ ain’t $##+” propaganda. So I draw no distinction between Damon Wayans and Terry McMillan in that regard. Overall, I do believe black men and black women really need 2 stop disrespecting each other… publicly and otherwise.
@Sydney, YES, I’m thoroughly enjoying this discussion, and I sure do enjoying showing everyone (and I do the same thing on other blogs) that we are not all cut from the same cloth. Look how long the black woman has lasted? We’ve come through some very tough times and we are still standing. My gravie of Michelle and Barack are a reminder of that as well.
@WordtotheWise
“I also thought of something else. I feel it is crucial for black parents to teach their daughters to love themselves regardless because we live in a world that does not and will not honor us for the strong, resilient women we are.”
You’re so right. I remember when I was a kid that there were days that I put a blanket on my head to pretend that I had long, flowing hair like some of the women I saw on TV. My parents labored to make sure I was surrounded by images of black beauty and worth — I had black dolls, books by black authors, etc.
It’s so important to have that reinforcement of positive images, to know that we are smart, beautiful, and valuable although the world at large may not recognize us as such, and to love ourselves at all times.
Why does a man feel the need to put hands on a woman. If we are so emotional and you guys like to claim and you guys so “rational”, well then the rational response would be to walk the fuck away. I mean damn…you’re a FOOTBALL PLAYER and you’re going around sacking bitches like you’re on the field. Grow up…man up. Don’t let some fucking woman turn you into a goddamn cave man.
….I’m not even gonna lie. I know how to push buttons like a mofo. I’ve been THIS close to getting some lover to turn into Kimbo Slice on my ass. Why? Because my taste in men would never include someone who had the proclivity to put his hands on me.
I dunno…I guess there just comes a time when someone needs to walk away and resume shit on the phone. Away from each other physically.
….and her bangs are killin’ me.
Most angry, aggressive black women, especially those who are always saying racist things toward non-black women ARE insecure. They suffer from low-esteem.
I understand that many black women sometimes feel out of place, looked down upon and dismissed, but as a black woman, I won’t channel my frustrations on white women or non-black women by putting them down. Some of the things said about white women and non-black women on this board are downright pathetic. (See: white women are easy, etc).
Putting white women down won’t prevent a black man from dating white women or any other non-black women. If many of these black women admit they have self-esteem issues and learn to deal with these issues rather than turn them into rage against white women or black men who date non-black women, they’d be better off.
@HF
Good points.
“U discussed how u appreciated that Michelle O seemed “protected” by Barack. That is an understandable and currently popular sentiment. Yet that contradicts the entire “I don’t need no man” thing.”
I think some sisters view Obama as the type of black man they find desirable (of course, there are also sisters who are attracted to the anti-Obama types, but that’s another issue). They don’t want “ni**as” — They want black men.
I think we have to actively seek out more examples of good, healthy relationships between black men and women that you’re not going to find in popular culture. The images that have been created of us, and not by us, have always been overwhelming negative. It’s time for us to empower ourselves, and I agree with you that we absolutely HAVE to stop disrespecting each other.
Hi We “Blacks”
Did someone call white women “easy” on this thread?
Hey Sydney, I used to the do the same thing when I was a young teen. I, unfortunately, went a step further and used to (I can’t believe I did this), put my mother’s Ambi on my face to lighten it. My mother used Ambi to even out blotches on her skin, not to make her skin appear lighter. Thank God I had a mom that told me how unnecessary that was, and I never did it again. Yes, we are smart, beautiful, and worthy of love regardless of what anyone else thinks. It’s imperative that we understand and believe that.
With that, I must go. I take care of my mother full-time so I have to tend to her.
Sydney, it’s been an absolute pleasure and joy having this conversation with you. You are truly a wonderful person. We must stay strong and keep out heads up. It’s a matter of life or death. God bless, and again, Happy New Years to you and yours!
Cheers, Syd! Now I’m waiting 4 that Josephine Baker pic!
Ok, We “Blacks” inspired another question… and mature, adults answers only.
In a case where a woman cuts, burns, or injures a husband, boyfriend, etc because she believes he’s cheating, some people say: “well, he got what he deserved”, “he shouldn’t have cheated….u never know how she might react….” Yet when a woman PHYSICALLY assaults a dude, y’all say “he shouldn’t have hit her back.”
I’m not pro or con, but what is the difference?
@Feelings>>>I don’t know if you’ve read Bossip before or if you’ve read today’s posts, but if you have, then you must’ve overlooked the fact that it cuts both ways? If you are a black women defending the honor of white women and non-black women (don’t get me wrong, no one should slam anyone regardless of their race or who they date), but not defending the honor of the black women that are routinely put down on this and other message boards, causes me to wonder what your motives are. It’s not about being insecure (at least not for me) or thinking women of other races are somehow better than I. Go back and read the conversation between me and Sydney and you might understand the issue better. If not, there’s nothing else for me to say.
Hey there Sydney!!
Hope you don’t mind the eavesdropping but I was listening in on the rather enlightened discussion you were having with Word to the Wise. Nice to see like minded people on here.
@WordtotheWise
Yes, girl, we don’t skin lighteners! We have natural tans, and I love it.
It was great talking with you, too, sista. Have a wonderful New Years night and Happy 2009!
LOL @ HF
I’ll put that up the new gravie in the new year, I promise.
@We “Blacks”
Would you like to add some thoughts?
*need skin lighteners*
I’m supposed to be off here, but I had to comment on “Feelings” comment above. You see, this is so typical. This person comes to the honor of white/non-black females, yet overlooks the fact that black women are ROUTINELY put down, and then wants to blame black women for it. This is the mentality we have to deal with. I’m not saying that it’s good to slam women of other races. It’s wrong, but what kills me is that fact that this person never once mentioned the “slamming” of black women, but shook his/her finger at us and called us insecure. Unbelievable!
LOL, WordtotheWise, I’m still trying to figure out who said that white women are “easy.”
HF, do you know?
Here is the comment “Feelings” is referring to:
…thats why them footballers like white women, because they are EASY TO BEAT DOWN (emphasis mine).
if that were a black woman, they would have both been arrested and charged.
keeping it real
This “Feelings” person took one comment and again raged on about “their honor.” Girl, I just don’t know about people.
@ Sydney
Know what the difference is? Uh, I admit I don’t. What is it?
But, WordtotheWise, I think that may actually be a male poster, or a troll.
Either way, that’s one comment out of many that have had absolutely nothing to do with the denigration of non-black women.
*sigh*
Jacky Jasper’s
2008 Top 10
American House Negros
http://diaryofahollywoodstreetking.com
LOL @ HF
Oh, I’m trying to ascertain which posts the blogger named “Feelings” is referring to, that’s all.
Let’s carry on before I have to leave to get ready to have libations and other festivities, lol.
Sydney, I thought that right after I posted my response because that person will never come back and have dialogue about their comment. They post and run. Shame on me for falling for it. I usually try not to respond to such idiotic comments. Okay, I’m gonna for real
@WordtotheWise
LOL, OK, sis, have a great evening.
I immediately thought of that thread where the white woman bit the dude’s rod. Then there was the incident where the Florida Evans look-alike burned her husband, then there was Lorena Bobbit… u get the idea. The men involved apparently “deserved” it. By way of ok’ing these incidents, we hear “don’t cheat, u never know how she might respond.”
Yet this woman goes 2 this dude’s house and hits him (in front of a child) and the general consensus was that he shouldn’t have hit her back. (is self-defense ruled out?)
I’m not taking a pro or con stance, but I want 2 know… is physical abuse on the part of women now acceptable?
HF
I immediately thought of that thread where the white woman bit the dude’s rod. Then there was the incident where the Florida Evans look-alike burned her husband, then there was Lorena Bobbit… u get the idea. The men involved apparently “deserved” it. By way of ok’ing these incidents, we hear “don’t cheat, u never know how she might respond.”
Yet this woman goes 2 this dude’s house and hits him (in front of a child) and the general consensus was that he shouldn’t have hit her back. (is self-defense ruled out?)
I’m not taking a pro or con stance, but I want 2 know… is physical abuse on the part of women now acceptable?
*****************************************************************************
i was wondering the same but o well….say la vi
LOL @ “Florida Evans look-alike”
Da*n! Da*n! Da*n!
OK, I believe it’s never OK for a woman to strike, kick, punch, etc. a man, and women can be arrested just like men for assault.
In the matter of a man being physically attacked and he has to protect himself, I believe restraint is warranted. What I have an issue with is when the so-called “self-defense” turns into an outright beating, and the man’s safety is not in jeopardy.
I’m thinking that a football player probably didn’t feel his life was in danger from a hit from a cheerleader. I agree with what another poster wrote that, if this is true, he has an anger management problem. Let me add that the woman in question is at fault as well.
So, the short answer is, no, physical abuse on the part of women is not acceptable. It is against the law.
“damn…damn…DAMN!!!” LOL!! That’s EXACTLY what I said in that thread! Ok, comparison time:
“What I have an issue with is when the so-called “self-defense” turns into an outright beating, and the man’s safety is not in jeopardy.”
Lets go back 2 instances where the man was sleeping when the woman decided 2 burn or mutilate him… such as Florida. She wasn’t in danger when she did what she did. She injured a sleeping man… by pouring grits on him or something? Not saying u felt this way, but there was a lot of “he deserved it” being expressed. Based on your above statement, wasn’t Flo’s actions “excessive?”
Don’t mean 2 put u on the “witness stand” as it were, just bored at work! LOL.
@HF
LOL, the woman who burned her husband absolutely deserves to go to prison, if convicted. I’m no lawyer, but I find it far-fetched to find anything resembling self-defense in that scenario.
The same with Lorena Bobbitt, who, if I recall correctly, did say she suffered years of abuse with her husband, but when removing his member was a vile, violent act. The same with the woman who bit the, um, same part (I couldn’t even read the whole story).
So, yes, I see all three situations as very much on the “excessive” side.
The problem that we have as black people, is that we are always making it a black white issue. These are abby normal <(Young Frankenstein) people we are dealing with here. All people can be disfunctional at times, it’s at those times when we all need to practice restraint. My policy is that if I have to hit you in order to communicate, it’s time to leave. I refuse to lord over someone and I refuse to let someone lord over me.
@Roe ski Love
“My policy is that if I have to hit you in order to communicate, it’s time to leave.”
That’s it in a nutshell.
damn yall been in this muh fucka all day.
@hf, sydney, wordtothewise
enjoyed the convo
LOL! @ kirby
Yeah, we’ve been really chatty today.
OK, I think I’m going to start off my NYE festivities, so have a wonderful evening, everyone!
Bye, 2008! Hello 2009!
And I’ll look for that sexy Josephine pic for you in the new year, HF, lol.
After OJ, you niggahs
ain’t gettin’ any slack
on this shit — If she
pisses you off, the SMART
thing to do is to say,
in the most smoothing voice,
“I need to get away from
this right now — I need
to regroup”, smile, walk
away from her ass, ake
some of those STACKS and
go find a woman who’s happy
just to get PAID.
Money CAN buy happiness —
ask Bill Gates, Warren Buffett,
Donald Trump, …………….
This story doesn’t add up…..But he still shouldn’t have attacked her.
Will do Sydney, have a great New Year! Take it easy Kirby!
@Purple,
“I see where you coming from Syd but just can’t seem to agree, not that it’s necessary. As long as women keep excusing their actions and not taking responsibility for their situations you will continue to be a “victim”. The same way he could have called the authorities or removed himself from his own house, is the same way she should have exercised the same judgment especially with a baby in her care. I think im confused as to why you keep putting the responsibility of being the bigger person on the man. How come you don’t say She should have thought before she came over or she should not have abused him by hitting him first. You say his force was excessive but have no idea how hard she may have hit him in the face, excusing her from any type of responsibility. I think we all agree that men shouldn’t hit women but at the same time I’d be doing my sistas or women period an injustice if I didnt say that you need to be the bigger person and responsible for your actions which could prevent alot of these domestic situations from occurring. At the end of the day being a real man means being human also.”
This right here is genius.
@Purple,
I really have to congratulate you on your contribution today.
This is what sexism is. The infantilization of women. The belief that werent arent in control of their actions and therefore must be controlled. Well if women want to be viewed as adults, in full charge of their own persons, than we she wants to hit someone, she can get hit back. The fact is, if this woman didnt hit him, this incident wouldnt have occured. Her actions precipidated this whole event. More women should get knocked on their ass for putting their hands on people.
She knew what she was doing. A big ass football player and her and her endangered child. Hollywood could have wrote it.
@Sydney
@WordToTheWise,
Actually SMDH and I have a few things in common. Like her I do believe that there are some sub par black men out there. My only thing is why do black females choose to make these powder keg families with them? Also these sub par black men were raised by black females. The fact is, if these females had half a brain they would have used birth control, or would have chosen to raise their families with a decent man present.
We live in the Western world. Women chose men. Men dont chose women. They approach us. We either except or reject. Why arent more black females rejecting these poor specimens?
“Fitzgerald attempted to “diffuse the situation” by raising his fist and challenging her to a play fight. Nazario admits she responded by swinging at him and “may have hit his face.”- What kind of b.s is that? Play fight to diffuse a situation?? Responding by swinging at him?? STUPID.
these women need to stop having babies by these men for money, these men need to stop having badies with all these women they really dont want to be with, use condoms,he had no right to hit her,I am sure this wasnt the first time.
Sometimes they enrage a nigga to hit em I just dont know where the Coretta’s Scotts, Betty Shabazz, or the Claire Huxtables went anymore…..
i went to school in az, as since the early 90’s this girl has been freakin cardinals, even cheered for the cardinals for many years. she is a washed up pro-ho, who finally got her baby daddy and the bank account- these fools keep fallin for it.
Will they ever learn? I’m talking about the athletes AND the groupies!
Dumbass.
All these black stars especially sport starf seem to want everything but a black woman and then they always get a pro-ho, who wants black dic* and a big paycheck bu tyet they call black women gold diggers… something is fishy as hell about this story plus WHY THE HELL DO ALL MEN I MEAN MOST ALL MEN OF RACES WANT TO KILL AND BEAT AND DO WAY WITH WHITE WOMEN AND NON BLACK WOMEN WHATEVER THEY ARE IT MUST BE THEM… everybody wants to kill them.. black men like larry better be careful and all those other Cardinals also.. dont fall for that trap!
those fools keep falling for those fake boobed fake azz non black women who mostly want a black dic* to see what its like and they fiqured out they can get a big paycheck along with the sex … so hey let me bring a brown baby into the world and get a bigger paycheck. But it always starts out with the sex thing… the i want to eff a black man because of the pen*s thing… what a bunch of losers, they better watch it Oj and Kobe should ring a bell and even after Oj so called killed his wife a blonde bimbo still was chasing the black dic*! so sad!
most of those cheerleaders aint nothing but some ho’s anyway… get a real job!
LArry Fitzgerald is an outstanding young man. In his community, his impact is felt thru all the charity he does, and on the field, dude’s a straight hound.
From his upbringing(his dad was REAL REAL strict),and due to the loss of his mother(Who died of cancer) I really can’t see him doing this.
I also find it even more unlikely that ULTIMATE sports blogsites(DeadSpin, ESPN) haven’t caught wind of this… Starting to question the character of site.
And for all ya’ll black women out there, Black men ARE NOT ya’ll’s property. We’re not DOGS, we’re not playthings. I’m sick of black women always getting mad that black dudes go find white women, like we OWE it to them to SINGULARLY DATE THEM. It’s not about who’s more submissive or wtf else ya’ll can think of, it’s about being happy. If ya’ll was really on ya’ll tussle, ya’ll wouldn’t have these problems, and would be able to keep “all the black men” to ya’ll selves. Get it together and get familiar.
It’s bout to be 2009. Our elders for us to be able to go to school with our former masters, to get us equal treatment, to not be looked down by them as such. And now when we(as black men) have the AUDACITY to date outside our race, we’re OSTRACIZED for it, and CAST OUT OF CIVILIZATION. Ya’ll need to get with and get familiar. For real.
“Ques in the Buildin, now EVERYBODY SOUNDLESS.”
This is more about GENDER than RACE.Ballplayers-generally speaking-stop growing emotionally about age 16.They’re catered to and pampered…and life becomes a buffet.This includes PUSSY.It does’nt register with them that EVERY woman they bed has an agenda.(unless she’s rich herself…RARE)It basically revolves around catching one of his swimmers…turning it into a baby…and turning that baby into a paycheck/annuity.THIS HAPPENS TO WHITE BALLERS TOO: Brian Urlacher…Tom Brady…Brock Lesnar…& many more.Chuck Finley-a White ex-big league pitcher married some video ho’.When she decided to bounce-with his stacks the bitch would start fights.Your best defense if you’re straight and a baller is to bed: RICH CHIX…EQUALLY FAMOUS CAREER DRIVEN CHIX…PORN CHIX…FOREIGN CHIX in their own countries.In exactly that order.Derek Jeter knows this…as does Thomas Jones…and George Clooney.Clearly these options vary in desirability.I don’t envy a famous mans’ ability to score at will.Mainly because most of them lack the good judgment.Larry Fitzgerald is exhibit A.
I don’t think this chick is white I think she’s spanish. Either way it doesn’t matter you shouldn’t put your hands on a woman like that in front of your child. For the women that say that this is why they date white women since they can get away with this, thats a damn lie. I’ve seen black women, spanish women, everybody gets smacked around by a crazy man. Women have to understand that we are not stronger than men and some men if you put hands on them will put hands on you. For some people it’s like a reflex you hit them and they hit you back. People gotta stop with this racial bullshit. Every time someone marries someone out of their race it’s not necessarily for money. Stop assuming shit. So what difference is it if he married a black woman? That automatically means its love? Black women have been branded in the past as being golddiggers, does that mean we’re all golddiggers? Stop it with the stereotypes.
To the person above that said that a lot of black women bash white women or non black women because they are insecure, I have to say I agree with that. I like to consider myself an attractive black female who has no problems getting a man, so I don’t bash females period unless they do something to me personally. I really could care less who other people are with because I’m gonna get mine regardless. I hate to say it but I’ve noticed in the past that the black women that are normally bashing women from other races are normally ugly on the outside as well as the inside and that’s why they are so insecure.
Is everyone on here stupid she is latina.
See this is what happens to these DUMB athletes who run around getting (gold diggers) pregnant. She has the child now she wants more money and when the judge sees that she is white and he is black, he will UP the money, trust me. Same old story…NEXT….that’s what he gets
ANOTHER BLACK ATHLETE WITH A WHITE WOMAN. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU BLACK OILY FAKE HAIR BLACK STANKS
agree with above but shes not white. they money goes to their heads & they want the leg splitting, down with whatever mixed, white, asian, latina chick. They try to get upset later when they see that she had a plan too. Lay here, look cute, let him get me pregnant—then off shopping!
um…agreed with “me” above lashondra.
This is what you get with a thug…a woman beater. He prpbably hates women…I wonder if his man beats on him? There’s no reason for a man to put his hands on a woman…period. So ladies, think about what you’re doing before you lay down with a man.
Ni**as’ these days …
sydney is reason number 1 why I love black women. I could never see myself dating a white girl. But yet i see black athletes dating white girls north and south. Looks like larry fitz is another fool who made it big so he forgot his black pride. We need
to start treating are sisters with respect. Because we’re losing them.
I hate when people make it seem that ALL black women get mad to see a black man with a non-black woman. This black woman doesnt. That stuff is getting old
Black women who do get mad, your only option isnt a Black man!
First of all it’s the Gold digger word against his. These woman see dollar signs and they will say or do anything to get these men money. I’m sorry that woman are so one sided and can only see one side of the story.
Wow… some of you are actually defending this woman beater. I find it very interesting that Black women are called gold diggers when they date a rich famous black man but you don’t call woman of other races the same thing. Why not put the blame on the guy… I mean if this woman was only after him for his money he had to be stupid enough to give it away.
Its nice to hear all the enlightend conversation BLAH BLAH BLAH but the bottom line is HAVE O.J. SIMPSON TAUGHT US NOTHING BLACK ATHELETES!!!!!!!!
THERE ARE GOLD DIGGERS OF EVERY RACE, RELIGION, AND CREED BUT A BITCH CAN ONLY DIG GOLD IF YOU GIVE HER THE SHOVEL!!! CAN I GET A AMEN!! I KNOW SOMEBODY HERE ME THIS MORNING!!! AHHHHH HEEEYYY DROPKICK ME JEEESSUUSS!!
[...] these athletes never seem to amaze us with their f*ck ups and mishaps. SMH at whooping baby mamas’ asses, stashing artillery, shooting themselves, killing, cheating, robbing, laundering money, and other [...]
[...] these athletes never seem to amaze us with their f*ck ups and mishaps. SMH at whooping baby mamas’ asses, stashing artillery, shooting themselves, killing, cheating, robbing, laundering money, and other [...]
I don’t believe this story one bit for 2 reasons
1) If this happened in October like she claims why is everyone just now hearing about it right before the Super Bowl & after he gets a new contract?
Seems a little suspect to me
2)If she has a restraining order/ order of protection against him like she says, then why was her a$$ at the Super Bowl with their son? The news report that I read the was released through AP New stated that she has an order of protection in place against him to protect herself and their son from him. She was at the Superbowl. He was obviously there and during some media events that were shown on T.V. his son was with him.
Why put yourself in a situation like this? The NFL is his work environment you don’t have to be there.
These are just my observations.