Before drinking ignorant amounts of liquor and making bad decisions during your last hoodrat activities of the year, ask yourself what you learned in 2012. If none of these valuable lessons come to mind, you did 2012 all wrong. Here are ten lessons you should've learned this year. Take a look.
Ratchet Sells - Shawty Lo’s league of extraordinary baby mamas (led by E’Creia), incredibly-petty unwed wives and Stevie J & Jose are must-see trash TV. It’s the negativity-fueled world we live in. Ratchet sells, positivity don’t.
God loves Chris Brown more than you - Breezy savagely-assaulted Rihanna, trashed a popular TV show studio, instigated a club brawl and dressed up as a suicide bomber for Halloween with no consequences. When you die, you have to defeat him in a dance battle to enter Heaven. He’s obviously God’s fave. Photo credit: Instagram
Anyone (on Earth) can be a rapper - 11 months ago, Trinidad and his 9 filth-stained teeth ran a fashion boutique in Underground ATL. Now, he’s a cultural phenomenon with rap's most famous yuck mouth. If HE can make it, anyone in this solar system, galaxy and universe, can too. Photo credit: Instagram
Nothing Unites Blacks Like Fake Outrage - Black America spent 37% of 2012 fake outraged about…something. And by something, we mean everything from MJB SANGIN about crispy chicken with all her heart and soul to “Django Unchained” being too slavey. With us, it’s ALWAYS something.
Drake is the creepiest of all celebrity creeps - Aubrey’s obsession with Aaliyah reached critical levels of creepiness when he tatted her portrait on his back. If he could impregnate her hologram, he would.
The Impossible is Possible - Tity Boi morphs into 2 Chainz and has incredible year. Juicy J signs solo deal at 37. Tamar Braxton proves she’s more talented than annoying with “Love & War.” Robert Downey, Jr. earns top grossing actor of 2012 after years of druggy hoodrat behavior. The impossible is possible.
Fantasy is the new reality - Doesn’t matter if Ricky Ross can’t fit into the luxury vehicles he claims to drive. It’s the extravagant fantasies people love. In 2013, it will never matter that rap lyrics are the greatest lies ever told. Photo credit: Instagram
Rappers Can Dress Like "Denise Huxtable," Willow Smith and "Blossom." You can’t. - Your favorite rappers rocked leather tutus, silk blouses, animal print leggings, artic wolf fur-vests, dresses, UGGS and kilts in 2012. This really happened, and was only acceptable for rappers (and New York Knick forwards), not us. Life’s not fair.
rappers Webbie speak at your funeral -
“We done did everything but die. Now he done died, and we still goin. Ya heard me?” – Webbie at his homeboy’s funeral.