Grow Up? Naaaah: Top 10 Unpopular New Year’s Resolutions

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Entertainment, New, News

kimye

Every year, people reheat the same 9 NYE resolutions like leftovers to seem “progressive” while ignoring the purplish-blue elephants in their room. Everyone wants to grow but very few actually want to stop living the trife life.

Here are the ten most unpopular New Year’s Resolutions. Take a look.

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More reality, less delusion –

No, “everyone” doesn’t say you look like [Insert celebrity here]. No, “everyone” didn’t “beg” you to start that corny blog. No, “everyone” isn’t jealous of you and your Juicy Couture management position. Grow up.

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Care more about YOUR OWN kids than celebrity kids –

Arguing with complete strangers on the internet about lil KimYe while your kids fight over the last Vienna Sausage? Don’t let this be you.

Christina Aguilera

Stop being a terrible friend –

Waaaaaaaay too many sloppily-obese chicks squeezed into glittery ziplock bags for NYE parties and the proof is on Instagram. Be a better friend in 2013.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West watch LA Lakers, Los Angeles, CA.

Embrace Privacy –

Screenshots killed chivalry and destroyed millions of lives in 2012. Adults don’t share personal interactions with everyone, 6th graders do.

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Stop living outside your means –

Living like a KING (or QUEEN) on a minimum wage salary has to be stressful. Do you really NEED 7986 TV channels? DO YOU?

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More respect for your fellow man (and woman) –

Paying with cash (or checks) in the express lane, swerving across lanes without turn signals and farting in crowded elevators are three things that, if stopped, would make the world a much better place.

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Stop smashing everyone, and everything, Ho –

Smashing the homies, strangers from clubs and Twitter followers in the name of YOLO doesn’t make you a “free spirit,” it makes you a stone-cold slore. Slow down and respect yourself or live with ALL the STDs.

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Follow through when fake outraged –

Blink and you missed the uproar over Chick-fil-a funding anti-gay groups. On Monday, everyone united, held hands and vowed to never eat there again until Sunday when it’s impossible NOT to crave Chick-fil-a. Stand strong or STFU, please.

"Hustle & Flow" Memphis Premiere

Turn your ratchet down –

At some point between 27-30, you should evolve. And by evolve, we mean stop letting your inner-Juicy J flourish when you have to work in the morning. You can’t be ratchet forever.

rihanna-breezy

Keep your unhealthy relationship(s) off social networking sites –

“Keep your relationship off Twitter” – Coretta Scott King.

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