Last night’s Love & Hip-Hop: NY premiere was a drink-splashed mishmash of everything right and terribly wrong with reality trash TV. If you saw it (and we know you did, twice) you probably asked yourself these same questions.
Here are ten burning questions from the premiere. Take a look.
Why does Joey want to be “cool” with Tahiry (the ex) so badly? –
He risked his life talking to his psychotic, lava-blooded Dominican ex in public for what exactly? If he’s happy with Kaylin, why won’t he let Tahiri wait her tables in peace?
Joe Budden & Tahiry were “Hip-Hop’s IT couple?” When? –
This is only true in Tahiry’s mind. To be an IT couple, people would actually have to recognize you in public.
Why does Joey believe he’s known as a rapper? –
To Love & Hip-Hop’s target audience (“Black Twitter”), he’s known, but to everyone else (on Earth) he’s not. “Pump It Up” happened in 2003. It’s 2013.
So many quality chilled beverages were wasted last night. Why? –
Reality show characters splashing perfectly good drinks on each other is so…..2012.
Why does Joey’s beard look so Pixar animated? –
This high-resolution Blu-Ray-quality 20 megapixel-beard seems too Disney-animated to be real. Removable like a lacefront or fitted? Probably.
Does Joey keep Kaylin in a basement (like the one Somaya lived in)? –
Your man is frolicking around with his ex, going on lunch-less lunch dates and consoling her after fights while you chill in the pool and NONE of this bothers you? It’s like she’s Joey’s property. His exotic, racially-ambiguous pet.
Why does Olivia believe we care about her music? –
Olivia had THREE golden opportunities to blow and never did. Her relevancy expired in 2007. She gotta BIZOUNCE. It’s over.
What Cheesecake Factory does Tahiry work at? –
She went from being ½ of “Hip-Hop’s IT couple” to…….this. Cold world.
Who wrote last night’s script/storylines? (Because they were terrible)-
Joey takes thousands of fake candid pics with his current boo every day (off camera) but stalks his ex on the show? What kinda alternate universe reality show ish is THIS?