Love is crazy! Let me just get right to the point. I have been married for two years.
My husband and I have been trying for kids for about 7 months. But, I’m having second thoughts!!! I found out he slept with a pregnant chic. Shoot, I don’t even know where to start! That’s not even the beginning.
A week after we got married his “best friend” gave him oral. He said she blackmailed him. Then he was having an online relationship with some chic and he logged into his email on my laptop and didn’t sign out so I called him on it. Then, there is the pregnant chic. Now, he went back home because we thought, well, ‘we’ meaning ‘I,’ weren’t going to have the money to pay our rent (He’s between jobs). So, he went back to his mom’s house (a whole state away) and started to look for work. But, when I saved the apartment by working 78 hours in a week, he came back home. When he returned, we talked (started over!?) and with a clean slate.
But, I every once in a while get a screen shot on my desk top. And, I know he’s still e-mailing his ex-girlfriend and selling her (or me) false dreams that he’s going back there, and he’s going to be with her and her daughter. And, she’s so in love with him. She calls herself his wife. And, now that I’m writing all this down, I feel stupid for still being with him. I can’t believe I let him do this to me. I’m going to still send this email just because I want to hear you call me stupid for staying. – Love Stupid Girl
Dear Ms. Love Stupid Girl,
Chile, I don’t have to call you stupid, you’re over there beating yourself up. And, as much as I may want to call you some other things, I’m not. I’m going to build you strong enough so that you can leave. Yes! I’m going to make you stronger (In my Kelly Clarkson voice).
So, uhm, hmmm, could you please explain to me what “Between jobs,” mean? I can’t stand when folks say, “I’m between jobs.” Uhm, no you’re not. You don’t have any job. You’re unemployed. You’re not working. Let’s be real. You’re man doesn’t have a job, and hasn’t had one in a while. I can tell. Trust me. There is something about your letter that reaps that he is not bringing in any type of income, and is living off you. Besides, he has too much damn time on his hand to be dealing with all these women. A non-working man doesn’t have anything to do but busy himself with the entertainment of female companionship. If your husband had a professional career he wouldn’t be having all this damn time to be engaged in these shenanigans.
So, think about this every day, and especially today: While you’re hard at work, putting food on the table, paying the bills, and being a wife, he is laying up in your home, on your computer, and using the cell phone that you’re paying to converse with these women. Therefore, turn off the cell phone, dismantle the internet and cable, put a private pass code on your computer, and only buy enough food for yourself. I bet he will get his act together then.
And, any man who will leave his home while in the times of struggle is a man who will leave you in the times of no struggle. The hell he move back home to his momma’s house to look for a damn job. Girl, puhlease. He went home and left you in the lurch. He wasn’t looking for no damn job. He is living off of you, and making you the head of the household. Let’s just call this for what it is. Chile, that little a** boy ran home to momma because –ish got real, and he left you to your own devices. Honey, the moment he walked out the door would have been the last time he walked out of the door. There would be no returning, coming back, and setting up shop like –ish didn’t happen. No ma’am.
If you worked the 78 hours in one week to get the money to pay your rent, then I suggest you start saving your money, and start looking for your own place. This marriage is a farce! You’re not married to a man. You’re married to a wimp. I can’t believe he said that his ‘best friend’ blackmailed him into oral sex a week after you got married. Really? Really! And, you believed that? He’s still walking around with his balls? (Snip snip).
Then, he sleeps with a pregnant woman, (Yes, he ratched), and you know for a fact that he is communicating with his ex-girlfriend, and she is referring to herself as his wife? Yup, it’s time to put an end to all this bull-ish! Pack all his –ish, and put his a** out! It’s time to clean house from top to bottom. Send him back home to his momma. He’s not ready to be a married man. He’s not ready to be monogamous. Hell, he’s not even ready to be a man. So, I would be ever so calculating, and keep smiling, while subtly plotting to remove him. Let him know that you’re struggling, yet, again, and that you’re not going to be able to pay the rent. And, of course, he’s going to run home to momma’s house to look for a job. And, while he’s gone, pack all his –ish and send it to the Salvation Army. Then, when he calls at the end of the month to see if you were able to pay the rent, tell him that you couldn’t and that you’re being evicted. Do all of this while you’re changing the locks on the front door, canceling his cell phone, and changing your number. You’re too smart, and too worthy of a woman to be putting up with all of this. You’re a grown a** woman, who doesn’t need a little baby nuts boy in your life. Now, get to the divorce lawyer, and get the papers ready. It’s time to start your life over, without him. – Terrance Dean
Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!
Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean
Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!