Singing ability has never been more optional for singers than in today’s autotune-diseased, gimmick-polluted music industry. For every R&B/Pop artist with actual talent are 50 vocally-worthless, yet viable, audio terrorists with stressful fanbases. In 2013, hype sells, talent don’t. Here are the ten worst R&B singers in the game. Take a look. Photo credit: Twitter
Alicia "Off" Keys For the past several months, this filth-hearted agent of darkness and destruction has unleashed her wrath upon us all with “Girl On Fire”—the single worst thing to ever happen to post-slavery America (other than George W. Bush, chicken & waffle flavored-chips and the ‘new’ Harlem Shake).
Rihanna The lovable trainwreck’s voice is 95% tortured tropical bird – 5% shattered hopes and dreams. To her fans, it’s “Angelic.” To everyone else, it’s audio AIDs.
Cassie The 100% talentless beauty is like Kaylin from “Love & Hip-Hop: NY”—A young, dumb, love-drunk hostage who doesn’t care that she’s being held captive.
Jennifer Hudson We love the golden-hearted singer/actress but hearing her scream like someone poured hot grits in her weave is pure torture that no innocent person deserves. Why this incredibly-talented woman insists on punishing humanity, we’ll probably never know.
Mary J. Blige There’s no doubting the crispy chicken Goddess’ impact on Hip-Hop/Soul but we all know she can’t sing worth a deep-fried damn. Timeless albums? Absolutely, but that won’t make her wayward screeches and squeals any more tolerable.
Trey Songz All Tremaine Neverson ever wanted was to “make it.” And when he did, he yodeled with the passion of a 1000 autotuned billy goats until his own fans hated him. Tragic. Photo credit: Instagram
Keyshia Cole Like MJB, the Top Ramen princess is 92% raw emotion – 8% actual singing ability on records but we’d never say this to her face for obvious reasons. Sh*t, would you?
Ciara Cut from similar, clearance rack fabrics as Britney, CiCi just exists in R&B/Pop—stressfully whispering over tracks and doing that stale azz Matrix for the few who still care about her career. SMH.
Elle Varner You would think the visually-stunning songbird who sounds like kittens in the microwave would be widely-ignored but she’s actually quite popular. Life’s never fair.