Dear Bossip: My Co-Worker Asked Me To Travel To Guyana, But We’ve Never Been On A Date

- By Bossip Staff Categories: Dear Bossip

Black woman with luggage

Dear Bossip,

I have been asked by my 50-something year old male co-worker to accompany him and his 12 year old daughter on a trip to his childhood home in Guyana, South America.

He told me that he asked me because I seem like a lot of fun and he knows that I like to travel. He is the father of two daughters by two different women. We have known each other for close to ten years and have never been out on a date together.

He told me that he likes me and wishes I was his girlfriend. He has hinted around about taking me out on a date with him and his daughter but I always come up with an excuse.

According to him, he and his daughter’s mother live together but do not sleep together. I do not believe the part about them not sleeping together. He showed me a picture of his daughter’s mother and she is very pretty.

He told me that they do not get along well and constantly argue. I am thinking that he has an open relationship with his daughter’s mother. When I asked him about whether he is married, he becomes evasive.

He brought his 12 year old daughter to the job and introduced her to me. She is a lovely young girl. My sister said that he might not be the same person he portrays himself to be once he gets you to Guyana. Just because he is my co-worker does not mean that I can trust him.

I noticed that he is friendly and generous with one particular young man in his early 30s in our office. He offers him candy and fruit but never offers me anything. I call him cheap.

I need your advice about all of this? – Travel With My Co-Worker

Dear Ms. Travel With My Co-Worker,

Ma’am! Does this really sound logical? Does this make any type of sense to you? Why would a co-worker, especially someone you have not even dated, been on date with, or hell, been on a lunch date with, ask you to go out of the country to his hometown with him? I mean let’s explore this with some common sense. This 50-something year old man, who lives with a woman that you’re not even sure is his wife, and he has two children by two different women, and he doesn’t even offer you fruit or candy but he’s friendly and generous to the 30-something year old man in your office. But, he says you seem like fun and you should travel with him out of the country.

Uhm, HELL TO THE NAW! Don’t go! Don’t do it!

You need to watch that show called, Locked Up Abroad. Chile, it will get you right together. The show features people just as naïve and gullible as you, whom their friends or someone they know ask them to go out of the country with them. But, the trick and gag is that once you’re out of the country they ask you to do them a favor and bring back a package for them because their luggage is too full, or they stash something in your bag without you knowing it. And, when you get to the airport you find yourself being pulled from the line because the drug-sniffing dogs are barking at your a**! Then you discover that a package is in your luggage and you’re trying to explain you don’t know where it came from, or you didn’t know it was drugs. HELL TO THE NAW! Don’t go! Don’t do it!

Hell, he may even be bold enough to ask you when you get there to smuggle something back for him. He may even set you up and have you forced to bring something back illegal. HELL TO THE NAW! Don’t go! Don’t do it!

I mean, Ms. Thang, you don’t even know this man well enough. You’ve worked with him for close to ten years and you’ve never even been on a date. Girl, this doesn’t add up! How the hell is he going to ask you to go out of the country but can’t ask you to go out on a damn date locally? Chile, puhlease! What do you know about him other than the fact that you’re co-workers at the same damn company? You’re not even sure if the woman he lives with is his wife!!! And, he’s lying talking about they live together but are not having sex! Do you got a damn whole in your head? And, why is he divulging this information to you! Girl, HELLO!!!! HELL TO THE NAW! Don’t go! Don’t do it!

Then, he’s sitting up here talking ‘bout he really likes you and wishes you were his girlfriend, but you’ve never been out with the damn man. And, you even said that you come up with excuses of why not to join him and his daughter out. So, therefore, if you won’t go out with him here, then why travel to Guyana with him? (Giving you the side eye). You’ve answered your question! HELL TO THE NAW! Don’t go! Don’t do it!

I know it sounds tempting and enticing to travel to a foreign locale, especially with someone who is a local and can show you around. They can take you to various hot spots that are not traditional tourist places. You’ll get to meet other locals, do fun and exciting things, and get your life! But, on the flipside, you’re going out of the country with someone you don’t really know. Just because you work with him you don’t know how he lives his life outside of the office. You’ve never been to his home, or socialized with him in public. Like your sister said, whom I think has a lot of good common sense, “he might not be the same person he portrays himself to be once he gets you to Guyana. Just because he is my co-worker does not mean that I can trust him.” She hit the damn nail on the head!

Look, you’re a grown adult. You can make your own decision. But, the reality is that this man is just as foreign to you as you traveling to the foreign country of South America. You know nothing about either! Perhaps you can go out with him to lunch. See where his head is, what he is talking about, and why is he interested in you. But, I don’t even condone dating within the workplace. That’s a whole other topic – Don’t –ish where you work! So, the bottom line is this – HELL T THE NAW! Don’t go! Don’t do it! – Terrance Dean

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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