This mother says she’s just saying aloud what plenty of women are thinking. Is she right?
A 57-year-old mother of 2 from England is bracing herself for slander and endless side-eyes after she recently admitted for the first time to wishing that she’d never had children and regretting their very existence in her life.
For many women, having a child is a joyous experience. Isabella Dutton of England is not one of those women.
The 57-year-old raised eyebrows with a commentary she penned in the UK’s Daily Mail in which she details her regrets about having her two kids, Stuart and Jo.
Candidly, she describes thoughts that fly directly in the face of what most mothers say about their children – or at least what they think they should say.
“My son Stuart was five days old when the realization hit me like a physical blow: having a child had been the biggest mistake of my life,” she wrote.
“I felt completely detached from this alien being who had encroached upon my settled married life and who had changed it, irrevocably, for the worse.”
Dutton said that despite her indifference, she was not a “bad” mother, investing all of her time, energy and resources into caring for the two children.
“I resented the time my children consumed. Like parasites, they took from me and didn’t give back.”
But she still came to resent their neediness and the time spent doting on them that could have been used to “reflect, read and enjoy her own company.”
“I know there are millions who will consider me heinously cold-blooded and unnatural, but I believe there will also be those who secretly feel the same,” Dutton wrote.
She said she was not emotionally scarred by her own upbringing, describing her family life as “happy” and “conventional” as one of five siblings.
Many women who have had children later admit to having similar thoughts during the post-partum depression phase, which a large majority of mothers experience not long after giving birth, but this mother’s story is almost unheard of.
Is she wrong for having these thoughts and sharing her story with the world since her children will inevitably find out now that she wishes she’d never had them?
Or do you think her confession will be able to help other women going through or who may go through something similar?
Photo Credit: Stuart Wood