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Rihanna is 100% talentless yet mega-successful with a fleet of unwashed hoodrats who enable her glamorous hoodrattery. Whether she’s “free-spirited” or the biggest super-slore in the industry, we can’t decide, but it’s obvious she’s a lusty nympho with a high body count.

Here’s a photo gallery of the celebrity men (and woman) who smashed Rihanna. Take a look.

Chris Brown

Infamous domestic disputes. Happiness. Endless dysfunction. Twitter subtweet wars. Make-ups, break-ups and secret late-night rendezvous. Top 5 most STRESSFUL celebrity relationship EVER? No question.

Wale

The famously-filthy rapper probably recited fake-deep haikus to Rihanna while painting her toenails. We know Chris was SICK when he saw his queen with the corny MMG rapper.

Drake

What tender, estrogen-oozing, slore-saving celeb could RiRi smash to make Chris insanely-jealous? Drizzy, of course—thumb-faced KING of the passionate forehead kiss.

J.R. Smith

The reckless NBA savage recently missed practice because of a mystery illness after partying with Rihanna (and likely smashing). Could this be the same island super bug that forced RiRi to cancel those shows? Hmm…

Matt Kemp

“I have a boyfriend. I’m so happy. I feel really comfortable, and it’s so easy. I have such a chaotic life, but at the end of the day, that is just my peace. It keeps me sane, really, talking to him and talking to my family” – Rihanna before her super-slorey bed-hopping spree.

Melissa Forde, BFF

Rumors have swirled for years about RiRi and her shaggy-weaved bestie being more than friends. Always together and flirting in public, it’s possible.

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Jay-Z

You really believe Hov signed Rihanna to Def Jam on the spot for her “life-changing” vocals?

Justin Timberlake

RiRi loves the swirl and there’s no greater Swirly God than Justin Timberlake.

Future

A) Future has the auto-tuned voice of an Angel and probably sang his way into RiRi’s bed during their “Loveeeeee Song” studio sessions B) he’s booed up with RiRi’s arch nemesis Ciara and Ri is super-petty. There’s a 96.39% chance he smashed.

Kanye West

It seemed like a great idea until Yeezy cried after they smashed. After all, their rumored tryst happened mid-808s & Heartbreak era.

Rick Ross

After the “Cake (Remix)” dropped, there were whispers of RiRi letting the sloppy walrus smash on a water bed covered in chicken wing bones. “Ricky’s ashy fun-bags seem like fun” – hoodrats.

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