Dear Bossip: We’ve Been Engaged For 10 Years & She Won’t Set A Wedding Date

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Categories: Dear Bossip, Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Black man distressed

Dear Bossip,

This is what I’m going thru and what should I do?

My question is that of 2 parts. One is that after being in an 11 year relationship, and 10 years engaged, is it time to call it over?

Any time I bring up a wedding date once or 2 times a year we get into a big fight about it, and it never gets solved. What would you do?

And, the second part is that sex has gone to 1 time a year!! We haven’t had sex since June 9th 2012??? And we’re in July of 2013 go figure. But, I can drive her around all the time when she needs to go places. But, if I don’t feel like driving she blows a head gasket over it because she hates driving. But, she drives to work as well as I do 5 days a week.

Tell me what you think I should do – Want To Get Married

Dear Mr. Want To Get Married,

Uhm, well, damn, damn, damn, and shame on it all! You’ve been in an 11 year relationship, and 10 of those years engaged? Uhm, sir, what the hell do you think you should do you big dummy? (In my Fred Sanford voice)

I mean come the “F” on! You’re engaged to a woman and every time you bring up the subject of setting a wedding date it results into a big fight? And, you’re sticking around. WOW! Why would you want to be married to someone who continuously puts off a wedding for 10 years? Why would you even want to be married to someone who has put you through this much drama and stress? She is not worth it. She is not even wifey material. Therefore, the 10 years you have wasted on hoping she will set a wedding date are 10 years you could have been with someone who would have appreciated you, started a family with you, and helped to build with you. This woman has done none of that. She has kept you down, miserable, and unhappy. Sorry, but that is not the type of person you want to be married to. It’s time to cut the cord and be out!

And, my brother, you’ve just given a new meaning to the definition of coochie whipped. And, you can’t be coochie whipped because she’s only giving it to you one time a year. HOT DAMN! It’s time be out that piece. Throw up the deuces and bounce!

I mean, really? Your girl isn’t breaking you off with no loving, sexing, or physical contact? You’re not even touching, or tasting it. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be sticking around waiting on anybody especially a 10 year engagement, and then on top of that no sex. Boy, puhlease. It ain’t that much right hand action in the world. I know you got blue balls.

And, who the hell is engaged for 10 years? Where they do that at? Ain’t no way in hell no woman wouldn’t want to get married and you’re a good man, and you’re going above and beyond for her. I’m taking a stab in the dark here and assuming that you’re faithful. But, she still doesn’t want to marry you? Whew! I think you need to lay off the malt liquor, Newports, and wash your crusty behind. There is something you’re not telling in this story.

But, thetruth.com is that she may have another man, or other men on the side and you’re the home piece she can rely on. And, if she is pimping you and the other men like that, she’s the true definition of a gangster. And, you’re her bottom bish.

Look, Mr. Want To Get Married, she’s not going to marry you. She doesn’t love you, like you, or find you remotely attractive. She’s bilking you, taking your money, and using you. Why are you sticking around and waiting on someone who picks a fight with you about a marriage date, and you’ve already popped the question? You know what’s so unattractive about you other than that pot belly (I’m assuming you got one), and those crusty ashy feet, and musty balls, is a man who is whiny, spineless, and has no backbone. She is running over you like those fake Manolo’s she’s pumping up and down the street in. I don’t understand you people and running after these folks who make it obvious they don’t want to be with you. If they don’t want to be with you then leave. Stop running after someone who doesn’t want to be ran after!!! If someone has given you their a** to kiss and you consistently keep bending over to kiss it, then you get what you deserve. But, after 10 years, brother, you’ve got to draw the line and man up! Man the hell up!!!

Here’s what you do you get you some self-esteem, cut that nasty beady hair off your chest and from around your nuts. Do some manscaping. Then get into a gym and build some muscle tone, get a haircut and cut that damn curly tail hanging on the back of your head. Get you a pedicure and manicure, and trust and believe her tune will change about you. But, it will be too late. Move on and get into a church. You need to pray and ask for deliverance from her spirit and to loosen the ties between you and her. Pray and ask God to bring a woman into your life that will appreciate and love a man like you. It’s time to have a holy intervention. You need salvation from the doomed spirit you’re holding on to and keeping you bound and miserable. Release her, and I’m certain you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders, and spirit.

So, the next time when she asks you to take her someplace because she doesn’t want to drive, then you take her to the furthest Wal-Mart. I’m talking about way out where there is nothing around but a dust crop and no buses. Drop her a** off, and after she hobble off into the store, you pull off, leave her wanna-be gangsta self there, and go home pack your –ish and bounce. Don’t waste another day, minute, or hour. And, I’m giving you a pass to go and get yourself some good head and a**! – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

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author terrance dean

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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