This sounds painful.
Who sticks cash up their azz?
According to Mail Online
A Tennessee woman is recovering in hospital after trying to hide $5,000 in cash inside her rectum and then trying to remove the money with a toilet brush and tongs.
Bulls Gap resident, Christie Black, 43, allegedly stole the money from her boyfriend Bobby Gulley last week after she became fearful that he was going to split up with her.
Transported to Hawkings County Memorial Hospital, Black was suffering from severe bleeding after her attempts to remove the cash failed and police have charged her with theft of over $1,000.
At around 1 a.m. on Tuesday, a deputy from the Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office was dispatched to Gulley’s home after they received a complaint that his girlfriend was stealing from him.
Gulley informed Sgt. Michael Allen that he had ‘set a trap’ for Black by putting two envelopes containing $4,000 and $1,000 in $100 in an old medicine bag which he put on top of his foosball table.
Waking in the night to find the bag missing, he saw that his girlfriend was awake and confronted her about the money.
At this point, a frightened Black proceeded to vomit up a plastic bag containing partially dissolved pills.
‘He then asked her where the money was, and she admitted to him she’d wrapped it up and stuck it in her rectum,’ Allen stated in his report according to the Times News.
‘Black admitted (to Allen) to taking the money and medication because Mr. Gulley was going to kick her out and she needed money for a place to live.’
Sgt. Allen said that Black then tried to remove the cash with a toilet brush and tongs but failed.
‘She was bleeding severely and was transported to the Hawkins County Memorial Hospital emergency room,’ Allen said. ‘The wad of money was removed and collected as evidence.’
As of Thursday afternoon, she remained listed in fair condition at Holston Valley Medical Center.
Wait. If she put cash up her azz…can she shake her money maker?