Damn. That had to hurt.
Man Puts Gun Up His Rectum
According to Mail Online
A man was booked into an Oklahoma jail over the weekend with a loaded firearm concealed inside his rectum.
Mark Gregory Valadez was arrested on Sunday morning on a minor city violation and transported to the Oklahoma County Jail.
Authorities said that because so many people were being booked into jail at the time, Valadez was only subjected to a pat-down and wasn’t made to go through a metal detector.
As a result of the lax screening, Valadez, 33, was locked up with a Derringer pistol contained a single round of ammunition inside his body cavity, reports The Smoking Gun.
Authorities only learned about the weapon after Valadez, who lives in Wichita, Kansas, bragged to other inmates that he had smuggled a weapon into the jail.
About 16 hours after Valadez was locked up, police carried out a cavity search on him which resulted in the loaded gun being uncovered.
‘We had our officers go up and do a search and they found a little small Derringer with one small round inside,’ Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel told KFOR.
You big dummy.
Following the weapon’s discovery, Valadez was transported to a local hospital for treatment on injuries suffered as a result of placing the gun inside his body.
According to Sheriff Whetsel, the term for what Valadez did is called ‘keistering.’ ‘They take whatever it is and up the hole she goes,’ he said.
Valadez is now being held in lieu of $5000 bond, according to jail records. He was originally arrested on a city violation that has now been upgraded to a felony count of possession of contraband in a penal institution.
Earlier this year, an Oklahoma woman was charged with having a loaded revolver in her vagina when she was booked into jail on drug charges.
The suspect, Christie Dawn Harris, was sentenced in July to 25 years in state prison.
Who sticks a loaded gun up their azz? We feel bad for the officers who had to do the cavity search. Worst job ever.
Oklahoma County Jail