Dear Bossip: My Husband Wants To Have A Threesome First With A Woman & Then A Man, But I Don’t Want To

Posted on - By

Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Black couple disagreement

Dear Bossip,

Well, my husband wants a threesome, and I don’t.

He wants to do it with a woman and then with a man, but there’s no way I can do it. I get depressed just thinking about it. He said he always wanted to try it, but I don’t. How do I explain it to him? I feel it will end our marriage, but he says it won’t. What do I do? – No Threesome For Me

Dear Ms. No Threesome For Me,

Well, you tell him just like you told me. But, then you add if he is persistent about it then you are going to leave him. POINT BLANK! No if, ands, or buts about it. You let him know that you are not going to entertain a threesome. It’s a not a factor. It’s not even up for consideration or thought. Don’t bring it up. Don’t mention it. Don’t reference it. Don’t even consider fixing his lips to say it.

Sit with your husband and have a serious talk with him about this because it is a very serious matter. Why does he want to try it now? Why does he want to put you into this situation, especially if you are uncomfortable with it? What is his fascination with having a threesome with his own wife? Ask him where did he get this idea and fascination? What is he missing in the bedroom, and what other options can be considered to spice up the bedroom play? Why is it necessary to bring in other persons? Is he not satisfied with just being with one person?

I know some men fantasize about being with two women. It’s erotic and they get off seeing two women getting it on. But, your husband is also talking about doing it with another man! So, he wants another man to sleep with his wife while he watches and participates? The hell?!?!?!

Look, including another person into your marriage, especially sexually, it will do severe damage to your marriage. The sanctity of your vows is broken. The limits and boundaries have been crossed, and there is no turning back. You didn’t sign up for an open marriage, and you’re not going to start one either! Trust and believe, if he wants a threesome now, then later on he will be asking to be swingers. Don’t indulge him, or open this Pandora’s box. Put your foot down, and make it abundantly clear of why you’re not doing this, why he better not bring it up again, and how serious you are about leaving him if he does.

Look, ma’am, you are not an object, nor his property. You are not chattel. You are not a piece of meat he can lend out for his services and to have you do what he wants. Your body is not for his amusement and to service you out for his own pleasures.

Do not allow him to pimp you, use you, and abuse your body. He’s an inconsiderate a**hole! This is for all you ladies out there and your man propositions you with exploiting your body for his own purposes. Your body is not to be objectified for the pleasures of another. You have power! Your body is your own, and it does not belong to a man, nor is it to be used for amusement and pimpilization for some man. Your flesh, beauty, and parts of your body are to be upheld and prized. You are not for sale like a dog, or chattel.

So, you tell your husband you are not going to engage in a threesome, and you don’t ever want to hear about it again. The next time he brings it up, then you serve his a** with divorce papers. He should respect you, your wishes, and your body. If he doesn’t respect you, or listens to you, then there is no need to be married another day, minute, or second to him. He sees you as a piece of meat, ready to barter off for his own sexual desires. Stand your ground, don’t back down, and make it the last time you address the issue and topic. Own your womanliness, and body. You are not his property. You are not his animal. You are a human, a grown woman! – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

“LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE!

author terrance dean

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Mogul   Hiding In Hip-Hop cover   Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
blog comments powered by Disqus
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 10,364 other followers