Dear Bossip: He’s 50, But His Family Doesn’t Know About Me & He Has 1-Year Old By Another Woman

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Categories: Love and Relationships, News, Sex and Relationships

Black older man

Dear Bossip,

I have been with my man for 6 months. About 3 months ago I found out that the granddaughter he told me about is actually his child.

She is only 1-year old. They recently had a party for her and I was not invited. He lives with me, but he recently told me that no one in his family knows about me. My man is 50-years old and his baby’s mom is 23-years old. He told me he does not want t o pay child support so he keeps the peace between her, but I think he is still with her. I am so torn. Please help! – Not Acknowledged

Dear Ms. Not Acknowledged,

Old school pimps are slanging the “D” on you young chicks, and running game! Bwahahaha!

Let’s see here: Within the six months of dating a 50-year old grown a** man he already lives with you, he’s lied about his own child and told you it was his granddaughter, he did not invite you to his child’s birthday party, you’ve never met any of his family members and he told you that no one in his family knows about you, and his baby’s mother is 23-years old. Hmmm…

I think I’m going to start a company and procure nut juice from men, get some investors, bottle it up, make it a brand, and sell it in grocery stores since so many women seem to be thirsty for the juice. SMDH!

This man lives in your house and within three months of dating him you learn that he lied about his own child. If he will lie about having a child, then everything else coming out of his mouth is and has been a lie. Nothing he’s told you is the truth. He hides you from his family, he lies to you, and he lies about his own child, therefore, this man cannot, and should not be trusted. GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!

Then, this fool has the audacity to tell you that no one in his family knows about you! Girl, please go somewhere and have several seats on the short bus.

You’re talking about you’re torn. Torn over what? You are not his woman. You are not in a relationship. You are somewhere for him to lay his head, eat, and get some free p***y. This old school player has macked and pimped you so hard that you don’t know your a** from a hole in the ground.

Yes, he is still sleeping with his baby’s mother. They had a birthday party for their child and you were not invited. Why would he not invite you, his woman, the woman he is living with? Ma’am, they have a full on-going relationship, and you are the side chick who is deep in the forest, lost, without navigation, oblivious to what’s so blatantly happening in your face. This is how and why these men stay winning because they do –ish like piss on your head and tell you it’s raining and you will believe them. SMDH!

Chile, I can’t get over this 50-year old man with a 23-year old baby momma. WHERE. DO. THEY. DO. THAT. AT?

I’m curious and I want to know why is this man living in your house and you’ve only known him six months? He is 50-years old! He don’t own –ish? He doesn’t have anything to his name that he owns like a house, car, stocks, bonds, checking account, savings account, Chile, is there something, anything he owns?  UGH!

What is he bringing to the table that uplifts you, inspires you, empowers you, or motivates you? How does he add to your life? Why would you allow six months to go by and you’ve never met any of his family members, and they have no clue who you are?

This is why some of you women will stay losing. You accept any and everything from these men. They play these games with you and because they can see the thirst dripping from your lips, and the desperation in your lonely a** bed, they know that they can tell you anything and your donkey a**es will believe it.

You have two options:

1.)    End this relationship. Move on with your life. Ask yourself why were you so desperate for a man that you moved him into your home after six months of knowing him. And, three months into the relationship you learn that he lied about his own child. You’ve never met his family. They don’t know about you. And, why is he keeping you a secret? What made you stay or even consider this a serious relationship? He doesn’t love you, nor does he like you. And, that is because you don’t love yourself enough to know you don’t have to settle for less than. Raise your value, then you raise your stock.

2.)    You have a sit down serious conversation with him, and you ask him why he never told his family about you, and why did he lie about his own child. Then, you ask him to define your relationship, where do you stand, and where is it going. Afterward, you tell him to make arrangements to introduce you to his family as his woman, and, as well, you meet his baby mother. You three have a grown adult conversation about what’s going on, everyone’s role, and how to proceed as grown adults.

Now, I favor option number one. You don’t have a relationship. You have a roomer, a boarder living in your home who is freaking you for free. You are paying a man to live in your own damn house!!!! I swear I don’t understand this.

There is no way you should be moving men into your home after six months of knowing them. And, if he lied three months into the relationship, then everything he’s said is up for scrutiny and questioning. Also, he told you that he is keeping the peace with his child’s mother because he doesn’t want to pay child support. So, he wants to dodge his responsibilities as a man and father? Then, if he doesn’t want to own up to his responsibilities as a father and as a man, then it explains why he is not owning up to being a man in the relationship with you. And, if he is trying to dodge paying child support, then I am led to believe that he is not contributing financially to your household.

Again, another woman allowing a man to shack up with her, not contribute financially, only gives you $20 or $50 here and there toward some bills, and you cook, clean, and f**k him on the regular. You will consistently stay losing. And, if you accept this, then you deserve what you’re getting. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean

“LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE!

author terrance dean

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
 
Mogul   Hiding In Hip-Hop cover   Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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