SIMPLE! SELF HATE!

…this is so true on so many levels.

One reason: The BLACK MAN!

The competition is fierce because there very few men out there for us so we feel we need to tear each other down. It also could be learned behavior so many other people do it too us.

house ***** vs. field ***** is a simple answer. Also all people compare themselves to others and do this, us as black people are just a bit more vocal.

A black woman does not always recognize her own individualize self worth or value. Therefore, is envy of those who do and are walking in their own destiny.

Its not even about black women it is about people in general. We need to change our approach to people in life positivity is necessary, not naivety but positive outlooks in regards to how we think!

Jealousy @ most times….

Uh oh…I smell a 500 comment thread coming, SMDH.

But what’s the underlying reason for this behavior??? I don’t understand it myself and Im a black woman

I can honestly say that I give my all in every relationship I have, especially friendships, and I have been betrayed and let down SO MANY TIMES! Its hard to open yourself up to be hurt again or taken advantage of, etc… my opinion.

Real simple = we as Black People don’t LOVE each other… Male or Female…

One could say it’s like “Black on Black” crime… It’s US killing OURSELVES, it’s NOT white people killing Black people like that!!!

Shoot, Carla Harris left out that “some” Black Women derail Black Men’s Career’s too… And I’m speaking from collegiate and workplace experience…

*Note – For those of you who are interested in Investment Banking contact “Carla Harris” at Morgan Stanley… Harvard educated ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL Sista, I LOVE her… *But have your stuff together, don’t contact her half stepping…

I also think we are excepted by so few that we have to compete with each other
Esp… Darker women by the media, family, friends, black men it’s crazy…

When i was in middle school the black girls would yank my hair to see if it was real, and then when i spoke well they called me an oreo, and then to make matters worse they all made up a lie about me going with this popular black dude in school and he had a girlfriend, few days later i have this angry black girl wanting to kill me over a rumor, it was chaos, and still i have respect for black women, it’s just the horrible memories makes me really hate some of them with a passion.

obviously they have self hate and terrible self esteem issues, now that i am grown i have enough strength to move on without crying.

Amen to that! Sound advice from Ms. Harris. When you have God in your life, no need to hate on the next, you know He’s taking care of you. Some sistas need to check themselves

I don’t hate myself or black women!! I thought the cover was beautiful!!

White girls make for better friends …most black women want to tear your head off if you say anything or something to them. I’m black and i have no Black girlfriends . I wish i had a black girlfriend ..But it is what it is

Why? On some real talk, insecurity.

Cause Black women with their act together are usually to busy to care about the bull and they remind bum chicks EVERYDAY, just how below average they’ve become. Its so easy to be in denial about being a bum so a distraction is needed to get the focus off of them.

Uh oh…I smell a 500 comment thread coming, SMDH
____________________________

No Beyonce is not on this post

@Akey Stans,

Try African girl friends. Ghanians are very nice and while they may have some resent for your light skinned, their so school orientated they will quickly get over it. Try Asian girl friends too.

I dont recommend white women. This society cultivates a type of priveldge and sense of entitlement in them that will make them jealous of you too. Try a non American friend.

A lot of the hatred is based on jealousy. Some black women hate on other black women because of looks. If black woman is pretty, has her own hair, her own car, and her own home, then she will be hated. Throw a man into the equation and the hate only intensifies. Most of it stems from the European beauty standards that really have nothing to do with us as African-Americans. Until we learn to love our own features and enbrace our own individual beauty then we will hold one another in contempt and the hate will continue.

I dont like the weaves on these black women but they are stunning.

Sound advice from Ms. Harris. When you have God in your life, no need to hate on the next, you know He’s taking care of you. Some sistas need to check themselves
__________________________________________________

@Fancy

110% co-sign…

You just reminded me Mrs. Harris has a Gospel CD out… Everybody please go out and support her

In my town you have to look hard for good fathers sometimes.. Sometimes they are there but they are mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually abusive. Or they teach their daughters to compete. There are some good fathers out there, but you have to look. I love GOOOD FATHERS!

I’m not buying the self-hate thing. Bottom line– its insecurity. This isn’t just a “black girl” thing. All women do it. It’s human nature. Ladies, if you are doing something positive, wearing something fly, whatever the case maybe, I will compliment you. If you see that another women who embodies the qualities you want to immulate, approach her. Ask her to be a mentor, don’t hate…it’s ugly. If anything, it would be more beneficial to seek assitance, than hate from the sidelines. Essence should come at this topic from a different angle perhaps “How to embrace each other….differences and all.” Or “Empowering African American Through the Power of Sisterhood.” Now that is much more positive than tone Essence is setting,

@Jamilah,

We already had tis conversation on the Estelle thread.

“Most of it stems from the European beauty standards that really have nothing to do with us as African-Americans.”

Beaty is transcendent. There are no European beauty standards. If you ugly its because you are ugly.

“Until we learn to love our own features and enbrace our own individual beauty then we will hold one another in contempt and the hate will continue.”

You cant talk about lvong our features and then our own individual beauty. Contradiction dear.

Black women need to stop using this mythic European beauty standard as an excuse on why they cant attract or why they arent considered attractive. Maybe you are just ugly? Even if Europe never existed you would still be ugly. Work with what you have.

By far the best article you’ve posted

I just a wonderful article a few days ago about the black women who are now in high-profile positions in the Obama administration, including Valerie Jarrett, Desiree Rogers, Lisa Jackson, and others, and there are professional and personal bonds among this group of educated, driven, and accomplished women.

I believe there is power and dignity in the bonds among black women. We should see one another as sources of inspiration, support, and understanding, not competitors.

One reason: The WHITE MAN AKA WILLIE LYNCH!!

@ A Keys stan

I’m black and I don’t have many black girlfriends either. But the few that I do have, I cherish them. I wouldn’t necessarily say that white girls make better friends either though. And Kigali.. some of the things you’re saying are offensive.

In general blacks folks hate each other that why blacks don’t mind killing each other.BLACK PEOPLE SUFFER FROM THE WORST SELF HATE KNOW TO MAN BUT WE LOVE WHITE PEOPLE

It’s not just Black women that hate each other, all women are like that, lol….

No doubt.Sistas will tear other sistas down right quick.But I’ve seen the same behavior in White girls too.Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve only dated foreign born woman the last 8 yrs.

Study up on the Blackwoman, Once you truly understand who the Blk woman iz you be surprised and ashamed of yourself at the same time.
Do away with your foolishness.Respect yourself sistazand respect your origin, because if the Black woman iz Bytch that makes us a son of a bytch!

I agree it’s insecurity not self-hating because during decades a few black people achieved to reach a “high status” in society (Europe-America) so the otrhers were kibd of envious whereas the successful few black people were scared to lose their living condition. I think it’s psychological cause nowadays we all can have a part.

*WOMEN*

Black women don’t like each other? Retraction Women don’t like each other

This is not a black woman issue. I have worked with women of several different races, and some women are just catty. Like someone posted earlier-it’s all about being insecure. If you are confident in yourself, then you don’t have time to hate on anyone. Some people are just jealous, and they can’t stand to see anyone be more successful or better looking than them. Jealousy and envy is a part of human nature, and no race is exempt.

IT IZ SELF HATE WHY ALL THE BLOND HAIR AND EVERY COLOR EXCEPT YOUR OWN THE CONTACTZ IN EYEZ OF VARIOUS OF FLAVORS SKIN BLEACHING ..THE FUK IZ THAT IF THAT AINT SELF HATE ..GET THE FUK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULSHIT!!

Thank Kigali for the advice

NOT ALL black women hate on each other! BLACK ON BLACK crime and Black men chasing after Becky, Rosa and Ming should be the real question!!!!

excuse the typos, I did not do spell check. So what? You don’t like my comments, don’t read them.

I think the ones who did have the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” attitude. I mean that they see everyone else hating black women so they might as well too. Some think (just like some black men) that they are the only good black women (sometimes a few of their friends or relatives get a pass but not all the rest).

@Dr. Funk

“But I’ve seen the same behavior in White girls too.Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve only dated foreign born woman the last 8 yrs.”

So it’s an American problem? LOL!

hmmmph

NOT ALL black women hate on each other! BLACK ON BLACK crime and Black men chasing after Becky, Rosa and Ming should be the real question!!!!
_____________________________________________________

Black men Chasing after Ronnie Bobby Ricky and Mike Thats a whole other post!!!
Thats a whole

Crabs in a barrell

Remove the word “black”, it’s women. Remove the word “wo”, it’s people in general.

I remember my aunt who is mostly white, having a great rivalry with the female members of our family. Every chance she got, she put them down, she stole other relative’s men, bad mouthed them to destabilise their success. Nobody was allowed to be prettier, richer, more successful etc than her. My other (late) aunt who was darker could match her for strength and if she tried any of her nonesense

KIGALI! I KNEW YOU WERE A WHITE OR VERY LIGHT SKIN SISTAH …WE LOVE ALL OUR SISTAZ ..INFACT MOST BLK MEN ONLY WANT A LIGHTSKIN SISTAH, I LOVE ALL THE SHADES YOU COME IN, BUT I DONT LIKE THAT MENTALITY ! YOU COME FROM A DARK BUTT SOMEWHERE IN OUR PAST!

Sydney™ (the real one)

@Dr. Funk

“But I’ve seen the same behavior in White girls too.Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve only dated foreign born woman the last 8 yrs.”

So it’s an American problem? LOL!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Near as I can tell…;^D

@ dr Funk- you might be right about that ….”But I’ve seen the same behavior in White girls too.Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve only dated foreign born woman the last 8 yrs.”
_____________________________________-

I agree, I married foreign and encourage all my sisters, who can’t or don’t want an African-American male, not to swirl but to give the foreign blks a chance. Once the do, they NEVER go back…It could very well be an AFrican-Americna black problem…Along with so many other issues that plague our communities….

I would agree bu this color issue, is safely world wide…Example:

I was driving in my SUV, on the freeway, one morning, noticed tha driver next to me, it happened to be an Asian woman. She had a shirt pulled over her arms, so that the sunlight wouldn’t get to her arms…I couldn’t believe it, that someone is so color- conscious, that they have to keep every part of their body covered, so they can remain light or fair-skinned…

I still can’t believe it…And then it confuses me, when white women/ pink women think that blks are beneath them, but onece a brother gets a little pocket change, he’s ok. And vice versa.

I don’t like that blk women can’t even confide in each other..To the point, you can’t even be real close with some sisters, cause they will try to screw your man,as soon as you turn your back, but them again, that’s all females, not just blacks…But this color issue= worldwide

white/pink women want larger butts, bigger chests, bigger lips,sun-tanning, botox, everything under the sun to get some color, but still are preferred by some blk men, in our community? That’s a sickness with them, not blk women….Get it right!!

@Kit,

Your comment made me think of the outro on The Fugees album The Score.

whoever reads that article is dumb. all girls hate each other. not just black girls

*peeking in on cat fight*

I think all women are catty white black asian hispanic, i think it’s just a female thing.

@Kigali

“They insult black men for dating light skinned women and I firmly believe that had Yung Berg said what he said about light skinned women instead of dark skinned women, dark skinned women would praise him to no end.”

Are you not familiar with colorism and its history and impact on women of color? The brown paper bag test? Instead of criticizing your sistas, try looking at the psychology behind some of the comments on this blog. I’m sorry to say, but there are individuals who place higher value of people of a certain hue, and the emotional ramifications of this process are vast.

@Dr. Funk

“Near as I can tell…;^D”

LOL!

DAVINA!@ WHY BLEACH AT ALL IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF THE HELL WITH SOCIETY,DONT CHANGE YOUR DNA TO GAIN STATUS ..YOU LOSE WHO YOU ARE..NOT ALL IZ RIGHT, SOME OF YOU BEAUTIFUL SISTAZ SHINE AND THOSE ARE THE ONES I LOVE..I DONT WANT NO FAKE SISTAH!

*higher value on people of a certain hue*

I can honestly say as a proud dark skin woman i dont care for stupidity in any shade!!!! But i have found that lighter skin woman have hair just as nappy,and wear weaves like dark skin woman the only true difference is that in america some black people have not freed their minds and look to tv and magazines to define what beauty is!!! I have never wished to be light skin for the record NEVER EVER!!!!the richest woman in dark skin and the first lady is dark skin so hopeful those who look to tv and magazines that begin to evolve..oh and just look at Naomi vs any other model out there!!!

KIGALI SHUT THE F***,

LISTEN TO WHAT YOU WROTE YOU ARE SOOOO JEALOUS AND ENVIOUS OF BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT COCO WOMEN, YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE OLD WHITE CRONES ROLLING THEIR EYES WHEN I WALK BY…LOL…PATHETIC MY MOTHER IS LIGHT SKINNED DO I HATE HER AND I AM MORENA YOU ARE CRAZZZZZYYYYYYY

@Sydney,

That is no excuse. We dont have a problem with wanting men to be tall, dark, and handsom. Do you see short men becoming all disgruntled at taller men for the disadvantages they face? No woman wants a short man but there are plenty of men who are, have, and will be with dark women. So why not have some sympathy for the midgets out there.

Yeah Akeyes… You got that right!!!

I LOVE MY BEAUTIFUL, FLAWLESS, DEEP RICH MAHOGANY SKIN THAT ALL MEN OF EVERY RACE AND COUNTRY FIND ATTRACTIVE, I LOVE AND UPLIFT ALL MY BEAUTIFUL SISTERS BY MY SMILE, A SIMPLE GESTURE. I WOULD NOT CHNAGE MY SKIN AND BEAUTFUL HAIR FOR THE WORLD

@Kigali

“Do you see short men becoming all disgruntled at taller men for the disadvantages they face?”

Um, have you heard of the “Napoleon complex?” There are indeed some height-challenged men who have some insecurities.

And I’m not referring to a personal preference — I’m referring to an ingrained frame of thought among some that determines a person’s value, pulchritude, and other attributes, based solely on skin tone. The same individuals who tell a darker-toned sista, “you’re pretty for a dark-skinned woman,” as if that woman is attractive in spite of her complexion. It’s a distorted viewpoint that’s emblematic of deeper-seated issues.

Well, to say such a general statement leads one to believe this really may have some merit?? I love all women, but there is no loving like that of a black woman!

lmao . . . . essays abound when there need only be two phrases : low self-esteem and self hate.

@Slide

If you come across so many sistas with attitudes (as you’ve written on here repeatedly), it may just be your own nastiness that attracts them. Think about it.

because they were smarter about birth control than the sistas’ I grew up around.
__________________________________________________

@Dr. Funk

Oh oh… Now you gonna get Kigali started… LMAO!!!

But it’s the truth though… We’ve got too many Sistas that don’t want to use birth control, what’s up with that…

TO ALL THE WEAK BLKWOMEN! Why are you afraid of a real Blackwoman ? A real Blkwoman will celebrate and uphold a real Blkwoman.Blkman iz not afraid of a real Blkwoman! He respectz her,he honors her, and would have her no other way ..so sistaz be yourself ..You dont know what it meanz to our future on this planet if we hate ourselves as Blk ppl period!

Bwahahahah

@always knew,

You belong to an ethnic group in this country who has some of the lowest levels of educational attainment. Instead of knocking community colleges, why not support them at helping education black peoples? Considering there are so many single mothers among black women, community college seems like an option for them to increase their job skills while they work and have to maintain families. Its also rather cheap and they have many financial incentives for working mothers in terms of tuition waivers, book vouchers, trade skills… you know thinkgs that are VERY relevant to blacks in this country.

I love the community college system because it helped me to transfer to the univeristy of my choice. They have special programs for black and latino low income students. They were dying to get as many of us black and latino students as possible into UCLA, UC Berkely, USC, all of the top schools in California. I appreciate very much the role that community colleges play in the lives of thousands of black and latino students. Perhaps you should too.

I think we should all hate on Asian women. They REALLY have it going on.

@Slide Like A Fresh Pair of Gators (Keepin’ It Real – D’Original)

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Indeed. ;^D Mattafak…I feel a Kigali post coming on in 3…2…1…

A real Blkman wantz nothing other than a real Blkwoman! A real Blkman dont want no weak watered down, overly submissive,non opinonated,non intelligent,non thinking,overly emotional,White Bimbo Bytch, type of women ..Sistaz these are the same women you model your Blk self after!

Hate is not only a black woman thing; women of all colors are always trying to tear each other down. Women are their own worst enemy. Honestly I have faced more discrimination in my life from more women than men. I am a business owner, and most of the people I network with and have helped my business have been men. Unfortunately, some women get jealous to see other successful women. But I don’t worry about women who are haters anymore. I am secure and I know where I am going in my lifetime. I just walk by haters and keep it moving. Bye hater.

If you come across so many sistas with attitudes (as you’ve written on here repeatedly), it may just be your own nastiness that attracts them. Think about it.
__________________________________________________

@Sydney

WRONG!!!

I come across S.W.A (*Sistas With an Attitude) all over the place and not just at certain spots… Ask any Brother, he’ll tell you…

If you don’t think Sistas don’t have attitudes = Ok, then – that’s your opinion and I’m quite sure a lot of Brothas will disagree with that…

@Slide

“If you don’t think Sistas don’t have attitudes = Ok, then – that’s your opinion and I’m quite sure a lot of Brothas will disagree with that…”

I don’t worry about the opinion of brothers like you — You have major attitude and issues, so as far I’m concerned, you’re going to have problems. You’re negative.

Thank God someome is really talking about this issue, it’s tearing our community apart, and it’s pointless..I don’t even like to walk past a group of Black women, because they are so critical, and why? Why can’t we support, admire, and love one another..why the jeolousy, hate, and envy…so very sad…I’m so glad my twin Sister and I are extremely close, otherwise, I’d have all white friends..Black women are too hard to deal with.

Three out of the last four restraining orders I had to file were against non-black women because they get so emotionally attached after the first time I serve them with chocolate thunder!

What in the hell can you do with a white bytch? you cant do a damn thing to a woman like this!this iz the type of weak woman that white woman iz,a real Blkman dont want no weak white ho like this!Only a weak punk would desire a white woman over you sweet Blk sistaz ..real talk,so he could control and dominate over her just to appear strong!

@Glock, hello, you are totally proving my point…

@SS! O YEAH! Check this out sistah…Areal Blk man dont want no brainless white bytch,dead weight,lingering around him.He wantz to be in the company of intelligence and strength!A intelligent and strong Blkwoman will nurture you into an intelligent and strong Blkman, if you allow her to brothaz,by getting off your ego first !A punk azz woman makes a punk azz man! And i dont want no punk AZZ sista nursing my children with no punk azz milk!!!

@Slide

So name-calling, too? Wow, you’re a prize. Once again, be the person you want to attract.

Yeah, I know. You used to post a lot of stories about your parties about Diddy, I recall.

If you’ve noticed, I haven’t posted anything addressed to you in quite some time, but I do find your “nuggets of wisdom” amusing. I recommend that you get some class.

it’s a dman shame!!!!!!!!!!

damn*

It’s not a black woman thing. It’s a woman thing. I saw a similar article in the new yourk timres regarding white women in the work place.

having said that I think we black women get along great. all my best friends are black female and we support each other.

Women in genera have issues when they compete for men and in a workplace that only has room for one or two of us.

@Always Knew and Sydney

Don’t let Kigali fool u. He hates all black women: light ones, dark ones, and mixed ones. Please peep his disfunction. He claims he is a black woman so he can spread his sexist hate freely. His moniker use to be ‘spiking black women’s drinks with birth control’ now its ‘black women 101′. And anytime the discussion is about black men or black violence he always steers the conversation back to black women bearing illegitimate kids. never not once have I heard him spread some of that blame to black fathers. I mean it does take two to tango, black men are just as responsible for our communal problems as black women. Never not once did he say anything about brothers having to wear condoms.–He hates black women. So he loves this perceived battle between light vs. dark women, not realizing that european colonization keeps all black women down. Not realizing that european colonization affects the black male’s self-esteem too.

He hates black women, period. check out the Angela Davis post then peep everything this negro who proudly proclaimed ‘lickin’ crackers ass’ has to say.

Speaking of fine black women, my lady cop friend will be here soon so I need to go change and heat the jacuzzi up!

Dont take on the mindset of your oppressor, lest you recieve the same doom and destruction that iz due to him!You dont want no weak submissive,un intelligent,non thinking Blackwoman,because she will produce weak,submissive,un intelligent,non thinking Black children and thatz where our problem stemz from!

The key is having the right black women as friends, and networking out to other positive black women that come from good positive families and backfrounds.

No one should be surprise by this article….Black women stay hating on each other. But I think it’s the uneducated black women that bring EVERYONE down.

@Slide

First, I don’t know which thread you’re talking about, but, yes, that issue did interest me, and I commented quite a deal, along with some other posters.

As for your continued name-calling, we’ve already established that you have a dearth of manners and class, but if you wish to continue spewing that kind of language, be my guest. Like I’ve said, you’re showing real manhood.

I only see one bi**h in this thread.

A weak Blackwoman will give birth to a weak Black Nation!Thatz why a true, real and wise Blackman will not settle for anything less than a 100 percent 100 proof absolutely pure and absolutely strong minded Blackwoman with no bimbo like characteristics attached via white bytch or anthing else!

@Slide

And, yeah, anyone who converses with women like you do has issues and is one to avoid.

GLOK9 NEVER EVER HAD A TASTE FOR WHITE CHOCOLATE NEVER!LOL!

Re white women:

when i worked in my job in england, the black women would talk in secret and be scared to be seen as buddy buddy. they were too scared to be perceived as conspiring by their catty white female co-worker.

at first i thought they were being ridiculous, until i went to lunch with a black co-worker, and my whte supervisor got pissed and tried to dock my pay, saying that we stayed an extra five minutes at lunch, and that this was witnessed by two others (white women). It was jsut madness considering that they used to go off for 2 hour lunch breaks. never seen anything like it. that white female venom is toxic but somehow people make out like they are angels.

any of you want to share your white female horro stories? i think this is a good time to share.

I love how Kigali thread jacked and turned it into a dark vs. light issue. Peep he is only using that to talk crap on black women. He said something about how good black women have it good because of welfare. He said we use welfare to feed our daughters and granddaughters, I guess he is saying that young black males have never been fed with food stamps. I guess he is saying that poor women haven’t used their welfare checks to clothe and shelter black males. And I guess ALL black women are welfare mothers, despite our continued educational and professional advances. And I guess maintaining a relationship with black men is the sole responsibility of black women. –Sisters this self-hating, probably butt ugly, social misfit that we black women are happy to give up is a shinning example of the madness that keeps all BLACK People divided.–U know u are off when even the brothers routinely tell u to shut the hell up.–

KIGALI IS A OLD UGLY WHITE WOMAN.. I SECOND THAT STATEMENT AND COULDNT AGREE MORE. ALWAYS ON HERE TALKING SHYT ABOUT BLACK WOMEN!

I only see one bi**h in this thread.
_______________________________________________

@Kigali

Don’t worry about it and don’t pay her no mind… We’ve already established that she has a dearth of manners and class…

anyone who converses with women like you do has issues and is one to avoid.
___________________________________________________

@Sydney

You talk to me however you want, I’ll talk to you however I want…

@Slide

“You talk to me however you want, I’ll talk to you however I want…”

No, you’re not going to talk to me any way you want, and I don’t tolerate name-calling. Keep the gutter talk for someone else.

Sydney™ (the real one)

I just a wonderful article a few days ago about the black women who are now in high-profile positions in the Obama administration, including Valerie Jarrett, Desiree Rogers, Lisa Jackson, and others, and there are professional and personal bonds among this group of educated, driven, and accomplished women.

I believe there is power and dignity in the bonds among black women. We should see one another as sources of inspiration, support, and understanding, not competitors.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And there was also an article in the Washington, about the black sisters in the Obama Admin, just last week, how and how they have formed a strong sisterhood, so It cannot be said, that intelligent, positive desent black women cant get along, its I lie, for thoes that want to keep the sterotype rolling, I have many associates and friends of black women that continue to be a loving and positive force in my life,,, I love my black women sisters, friends, coworkers, associiates and family, That keep me on the straight and narrow with, love, support, and caring,

The Washington Post that is.

*as I not having posts*

@Moreaces

Yup, that’s the article I was referring to. It was great, wasn’t it?

Yeah, I know a number of sisters who have positive, uplifting networks of black women around them. They do exist.

HIGH TOP… GOOD LOOKING OUT .. LOL! I KNEW IT!!!

No, you’re not going to talk to me any way you want
__________________________________________________

@Sydney

OH, yes I will…

You talk to me respectfully, I’ll talk to you respectfully… It’s as simple as that…

@Slide

I’ve had conversations with people on this site about HuffPo articles and a variety of other issues and stories. Just because they don’t interest YOU doesn’t mean there aren’t individuals who are interested in those sorts of conversations.

Instead of all the personal attacks, you could have responded from the beginning with maturity and dignity, but you chose not to — You tried to bring more of your negativity and sista-bashing into the thread. Seriously, get some class, get some manners, and take a good look at yourself before you complain again about the angry sistas out here. You sound just as angry, if not more, and it’s distasteful.

I was the mixed girl, that looks white, and developed early, and was picked on, and taunted so much by two other black girls, that I transferred to another school.

It wasn’t until college that I was able to make my lifelong (black) friends. But I still get that side-eye glare from the sistas I don’t know, when I am out and about with my (black) husband. SMH.

A Real Blackman will place his black woman on aelevated pedestal and help her to develop in any and everyway that iz possible, because out her comes us!!If she iz weak we are weak if she iz strong so are we strong! ..As for my beautiful strong powerful Black sistaz I want to talk to you …I need to talk to you . Glok hope that you have been paying attention too,you should know that no trrue Blackman wantz a Blackwoman who iz brainless ,thoughtless, and weak! This iz very much undesired by the wise righteous Black men like myself!

WOW! here is an article i totally agree with. it would be nice if black women would stop hating on each other especially in the work place. it doesn’t make any sense to hate someone you don’t know because of how they look or the way the dress. i have an hourglass shape and my boss looks me up and down and rolls her eyes at me when i walk by. it doesn’t make sense to me. why can’t we get along with each other. i’ve found that younger girls yeah they hate, but them old hoes are the worst.

@Slide

“@Sydney

OH, yes I will…

You talk to me respectfully, I’ll talk to you respectfully… It’s as simple as that…

Boy, you are something else, lol. Keep on thuggin’.

the only possible i conflict I see between these women would be the catfight over COMMON.

hell most women, black or otherwise, would be hatin on ANY woman with common.

HIGH TOP .. I WENT THERE AND SAW THAT! WOW YOU ARE A GOOD DETECTIVE!! LOL!!!

Ha! AND THE DENial GOES ON!
If you guys looks at the posts!(All of them)
VERY FEW BLACK WOMEN ADMIT ANYTHING……there in lies your problem!!

And the denial goes on,and on, and on,and on…….

think

lol

it’s a fair point to say that SOME Black women like to hate on others who are doing well and may have reached a place where they themselves would like to be, but to suggest that it’s all about jealousy, etc. is not a balanced argument…
there are many successful sisters out there who have adopted the mindset that once they reach a certain level, they are now above other Black women…if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s to see Black people who think that because they went to a certain college or come from a certain economic class that they are then justified in feeling that anyone who hasn’t done the same is beneath them…
uppity Blacks are just as bad as those who are supposedly just “hating” IMO

@6AM

Hahahaha….brutha..You HIT IT ON THE HEAD!
TOO DAMN FUNNY,AND TOO DMN CORRECT. NOW..HOW MANY WILL ADMIT IT?

WE NEED THIS SAME THREAD FOR THE BRUTHAS!!

think

ROFL!

THATS MY GIRL.. TYPO!!!

@6am…

and I “partly” agree with you, hon.. but are those two extremes the only categories that Black women you know fall into? a woman may not have a college degree, and maybe she had kids at a younger age, but is still a married, working woman who doesn’t rely on the system or the local hustler to care for her… my whole point is that there is a middle ground, but for some reason with Black people, it seems you must be one or the other of the examples you gave…

@Mild sauce

And in the meantime,let’s all deny that we have problems.(Sppppppt! IF we deny that we have self-hate issues,maybe they’ll go away.

think

I agree.. any black female that I have had to work for,turned out awful. They did about anything they could to fire me, white males on the other hand, did everything possible to promote me, and move me up through an org. A sistha will keep you down, especially if you are cute,smart and a threat to them..

@ 6am..
I hat t say it, but damn,,,it’s true!!!

think

I make an effort to get along with other black women and I don’t want to come off as fake. I’d love for us all to stick together. Maybe one day. Untill then I’ll reach out to ALL races.

@Hollywood BS

If you’re located in the UK why is your screename “Hollywood BS”?

I ain’t never said anything bad to you… But whatever, if you don’t really like this site why don’t you NEVER come back to it? Or does that make too much sense?

Trust me no one will care or even notice… I’m not trying to be mean I’m being serious

Ya’ll want me to stay or leave?

Fact did you know

78% of black women are overweight and 50% is obese

@ AKeyes,

If you date 1/2 asian 1/2 black sista’s theres a 75% chance she’ll never get fat.

theres a 90% chance your daughters will be beautiful and will never need weaves.

Asian women have some of the prettiest legs ever.

@z…what you said is true …when i was in England too my white boss would make all sorts of unauthorized deductions from my pay among other things.Of the group of black females in this work environment ,I was the only one confident enough to question him(in a polite way of course).My black colleagues segregated themselves from me because fearing to be seen as conspirators with me..my only friends then were some white chicks who could care less if he saw us associating.These same females talked crap behind my back but in the end benefited from my assertiveness.

I’m so glad I have a group of about 15 black girlfriends from high school we are all different shades some light some dark but we don’t have those issues. I mean sure we get on eachother’s nerves from time to time but that’s regular stuff that comes along when you deal with a big group of women. I know ppl harp on the light vs dark deal but I don’t deal with that in my personal life. I’m mixed but I’m darker than most of my non-mixed friends. We just never focus on that crap. It’s pointless.

On the other hand whenever I have an issue at work it’s always with a black woman. I don’t understand what the problem is. I’m young but I was raised right by my parents I don’t disrepect my elders or act inappropriate around anyone at work. Yet the first time something happens it’s always a black women running and telling. Where I work telling on someone doesn’t get you that next promotion so unless someone is straight doggin you at work why go run and tell about something so simple. I don’t get that??? A friend of mine who recently moved to Atlanta told me that there is a lot of tension between older black women and younger black women there. I’m not sure if it’s due to the lack of straight black men or what. Why can’t we all just get along!!!

I am a black British female who grew up in the ‘ghetto’ have family members who don’t aspire to better themselves in terms of getting a higher education etc. I chose to for myself (then got pregnant despite using protection) took myself out of the course, returned when my child was nine months old and graduated last year. I don’t think I am better than black females who have not opted for this even if I think that the way they choose to live their lives does not empower or liberate our communities. That being said I am constantly on the receiving end of negative vibes and ‘side eyes’ from other black women which has made it so I have very few black female friends, and the friendship with a group of friends I had once came to a demise because I guess they felt threatened by me or . . to be fair I don’t really know because I was a good loyal freind and they stabbed me in the back. Why so much hate? I just don’t have it in me, God is love, this is where I get my strength.

LMAO!

@6AM

Fam, you won’t believe this…

I went to your boy Pastor Manning’s Church up in Harlem NYC to see the comedy show in living color with my own two eyes (*this goes on the list of one of the craziest things I’ve done)… *I was up there to catch Jadakiss performing at the Apollo Theater and was like f#ck it, while I’m there let me go and see what Atlah Ministies is about, I’ma just check it out for an hour and then dip afterwards…

So, throughout the service Pastor Manning kept on referring to Obama as “the long legged mack daddy” and called Obama “an emissary of the devil”…

But anyways… I bring this up ’cause I left early but before I left I asked them what were the reasons why they didn’t like Obama and one thing that they brought up is that they said he wasn’t really the President of the United States ’cause he’s not a U.S. Citizen… Question: People born in Hawaii are U.S. Citizens right? (*I know I could goggle it or whatever…)

@ ALWAYS KNEW

I agree, I married foreign and encourage all my sisters, who can’t or don’t want an African-American male, not to swirl but to give the foreign blks a chance. Once the do, they NEVER go back…It could very well be an AFrican-Americna black problem…Along with so many other issues that plague our communities….
*******************************
Where’s your husband from? If you don’t mind me asking.
I’d like to broaden my horizons and start dating outside of my race but also start dating black men from outside of the U.S.

Dumb. Women as a whole hate on each other. Men as whole compete with one another. This has NOTHING to do with race. NEXT!!

@6am- that was funny, your list but I still don;t like that you particpate with Kilshithead with mean behaviour towards blk women, when you know that it takes 2. Some of the most trifling brothers, create their own realities too….

come on ,admit it. I’m glad that you have stopped genrealizing as much, it makes your comments much easier to read. We are not all alike. I do wish we (sisters), were able to get ourselves together more, then maybe that would help reverse some of these, comedic situations, that you presented..

I am sorry ….I mean I see that black women do not have the options that white women do…
white women can date any race
black men do not treat women well
and black women are mean and jealous
especially of white women
they are angry and negative
hostile is more like it
they do not work well
they spend more money on cloths
every day is fashion day
but do they really produce….no
so you have a mean black woman and a mean black man getting together then you have mean black kids who kill each other and make our streets unsafe…and all this money goes to support them…actually socialism is for the black community…they get vouchers to move ..then everyone fears them when they come in the neighborhood …they pay lower taxes but get more government handouts…we all pay and subsidize them…
we have to bring immigrants in because blacks dont want to work
it is a sad mess…wake up change please ….it does not have to be like this
we are all in this mess together…quit making your life and everyone elses so miserable with your negativity and crime

@ 6am

Actually you’re wrong one of my friends in my group is dark skinned not mixed with anything and her hair is to her butt. No lie.I’m mixed and my hair is past my shoulders but not longer than some of my other friends. I wouldn’t mind being darker I think there is nothing more beautiful than an even skin toned dark skinned woman. Ok well other than a chocolate MAN! lol

Fact did you know

78% of black women are overweight and 50% is obese
_________________________________________________

@AKeys_Stan XOXOXO

Yeah, it’s been reported in the National News a little bit and according to the Department of Health and Human Services = 4 out of 5 Black Women are overweight or obese = http://www.4women.gov/minority/africanamerican/obesity.cfm

@ Always knew,

its impossible to hate me luv, you may get mad at my ass, but hate me? never!

Hawaii is the 50th state since 1959
_________________________________________________

@6AM

I KNOW… But them folks are crazy and I’m not really one to argue with crazy folks… I knew that Hawaii was apart of the U.S but you can’t tell them folks nothing… I was scared and had to leave…

These dude was calling Obama “the Long Legged Mack Daddy” throughout the service and is 6’2 his damn self…

I don’t know what it is but I could never made friends with black females but Black men are mad cool. I went to a predominatly black elementry school and it was hell I had to hang out with the boys.Middle school was really bad I couldn’t wear my hair down because a black girls were mad wanted to fight me or I would get chased down the street because i had a dress on it was always The big dark girls that hated me for no reason.

Fact did you know

78% of black women are overweight and 50% is obese
_________________________________________________

@AKeys_Stan XOXOXO

Yeah, I know…

If you go to the Department of Health and Human Services Website it says that “4 out of 5 Black women are overweight or obese”…

or google “black women and obesity” you’ll see stats similar to what you pointed out…

I really don’t understand the competition against one another I really don’t. I didn’t even know that Africans did not really care for Black americans. I get I understand why they feel the way they do I don’t like but I am able to sit back and take it in from there point of view. I love being black and a sistah but I don’t like it when other women try to compete even when I am not trying. I feel like one are one of the only races that only think of themselves from an indiviual stand point except as a whole, only when it comes to OBAMA. Then…and only then is the only time I am seen Black Americans and all the races for that matter be uplifting. For that brief moment it felt good to be the race that I know we can be. I mean we should encourage and not be intimadated when another female looks,good or has it going on or vice versa like has it going on and looking down on those who wish to be in your position. Step back take a look around it’s not that many of us it’s enough to share. We are the lowest on the todem pole as far a race. And why is that you ask yourself?…Because all we have gotten used to is tearing down and destroying rather than uplifting and growing together.

Tiray…. Whatever.. i can understand what you are saying but thanks i dont have self-hate issues TO go away, i love my blackness and black women , i love black people and self love is the first thing. I only come out of pocket on folks who come at me. I dont need to think i know how i feel and as long as i love and respect my black people and my black family im all right with myself!

Best Example Alicia Keys and India Arie I love Alicia. but lets be serious if India was lighter she would be Poppin they make the same type of music

BLACK IS BLACK, DUH!
__________________________________________________

@always knew

Let something come up missing, white people will remind you that you’re black right then and there… SMH

some dark skinned sistas have long hair and real hair .. a lot in my neighborhood like Keisha Knight (rudy), and long hair is not something to be so up about as long as a chick is not baldhead and has her own hair im cool. I dont really care if its long, butt length or whatever its just hair!

I agree with Queeney 100%. This is not a race issue, this is a gender issue across different cultures and backgrounds.

I gotta go ya’ll, you can have your chat back!

As far as women of other races being catty, Laura Ingraham, a white Republican radio host, recently called Meghan McCain fat (or words to that effect — I believe she used the term “plus-sized”). So petty back-and-forth bickering crosses racial lines, to be sure.

Oh, and for the record, women of all skin tones have hair of varying lengths.

@ Slide Like A Fresh Pair of Gators
Yes I live in Wisconsin but i recently moved here
I’m from Mass. Boston . and Hell no will I live in Chicago I’m to young to die LOL

I got folks in Chicago , been there all their lives and Detroit and they are fine. Its crime everywhere , you just know certain things and leave other things alone but you protect yours.. i love chi and Mich and would never move elsewhere,, well maybe later but not right now!

Hell on earth >>>>>>>>>>Detroit

Yes, it’s because of the black man, but not what you think. Black women has fip the strip, they are more often to get their grove on then men. They conceil, and hide it better then the black men. When a black man see a woman that he wants to get with, that’s it. He tries to get with that woman. Different with a black woman, she see, and then says I’m going to give him some. They also lie better then men. Men know the game, but for some reason the women learned how to play it better. But men you have to be ahead of the the game, for those whose trying to learn the game, in other words. pimps up, hoes down, if the game is trying to be played n you.

I dont think the caption is correct it should be Why do black women Hate on each other…my mother had always told me about how some women dont want to see u do better..I think some of it comes from insecurity…if a person is secure in themselves, they wont have time to be jealous of someone else.I have learned to congratulate, not player hate..that kind of hating blocks ur blessings..Also i think women should learn to be loyal to one another..because the ratio of men to women is low in our community, some women will date married men etc..I always say do unto others as u would have them do unto u.

First please let me say
Slide like a fresh paIr of gators your avator is freaking funny and so is that damn pic

NOW FOR THE RESPONSE
I truly do believe that because we were physically separated for somy hundred years we became mentally separated. We have no together-ness about us…Jews, Indians, etc stick togehter no matter what

But we fight each other from every angle and its not just women, its the men too.
WEST INDIANS VS. AMERICAN, RICH VS POOR, HOOD VS HOOD, GANG VS GANG, EAST VS WEST, NORTH VS, SOUTH, BROOKLYN VS HARLEM, QUEENS AND THE BRONX…THE LIST GOES ON WE CAN’T SEEM TO FIND A STRONG BOTTOM GROUND OR LEVEL OF AGREEMENT

As a result some of us give up, leave (swirl), keep fighting, or the few try to be different and change or come up with a solution…

* for so many years hundred

HELL ON EARTH= EARTH PERIOD!

But we fight each other from every angle and its not just women, its the men too.
WEST INDIANS VS. AMERICAN, RICH VS POOR, HOOD VS HOOD, GANG VS GANG, EAST VS WEST, NORTH VS, SOUTH, BROOKLYN VS HARLEM, QUEENS AND THE BRONX…THE LIST GOES ON WE CAN’T SEEM TO FIND A STRONG BOTTOM GROUND OR LEVEL OF AGREEMENT
__________________

I absolutely agree with this, senseless rivalries. SMGDH

whaddup mild

I just asked my liteskin female friend why liteskin and darkskin sistas dont get along, she said when she hugs darkskin women they always smell like burnt hairgrease stuck to a straightening comb.

bye all!

flatline!

CARACAS, Venezuela — Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez on Sunday called President Barack Obama “ignorant,” saying he has a lot to learn about Latin America.

The Venezuelan leader said he had been ready to name a new ambassador in Washington when Obama took office, but put that on hold after the new U.S. president accused him of “exporting terrorism” and being an obstacle to progress in the region.

“At least one could say, ‘poor ignorant person,”‘ Chavez said on his weekly television and radio program, adding that Obama “should read a little bit so that he learns about … the reality of Latin America.”

Chavez’s relations with Washington grew increasingly strained under former President George W. Bush. The Venezuelan president expelled the U.S. ambassador and withdrew his envoy from Washington in September. Top diplomats have yet to be restored at either embassy.

Chavez and Obama both plan to attend a summit of leaders from across the Americas next month in Trinidad and Tobago. There, Chavez said he will make a case for Cuba to be included in regional talks, saying “we can no longer continue to accept the impositions of the U.S. empire.”

Related StoriesChavez Wants to Postpone Valentine’s Day Until After Vote, Promises ‘Week of Love’
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“We ask only for respect for Venezuela, nothing else,” Chavez said. “If Obama respects us, we’ll respect him. If Obama tries to keep disrespecting Venezuela, we will confront the U.S. empire.”

Chavez said he showed some of the U.S. administration’s critical remarks about him to U.S. Rep. William Delahunt when the Massachusetts Democrat visited Caracas last week.

“They keep pointing to me as the bad boy, as the one who attacks,” Chavez said. “Who stared the attack first? Obama.”

The U.S. Embassy in Caracas did not immediately return a call seeking comment on Sunday

Amen

Its time to do better

That was my last one I promise.

bye for the 5th time!

i am so happy this subject is being brought up because it so true on so many levels. i dont know why we act like this with each other. i think its to a point where anotha sista would kill you if she could. the jealousy is so deep.

ive always thought it was because we have so much diversity with us. different skin colors, hair length, body types, money and education.

where is with other races all their women are the same complexion, all of them have long hair or can grow it long if they want, if their from a wealthy background all their friends are wealthy also, so there is no competition with that. where with successful black people you have a range of people in your life successful and poor, which can cause envy with your not as successful friends.

i hope im explainin what i think right. but its really sad. especially when were the least sought after women on the earth (as a whole). i feel we need to try and embrace uplift and love one anotha more because we all we got.

Am I right?

la la la

Black people in general hate one another too much, and often for no good reason. However women in general hate on each other ALL the damn time.

tsss black women hate each other and black men whats wrong with afro american society only Damn

@ Its6amHoGetOut, the smartest, most interesting, most honest, and lets be real, the only opinion that really matters.

SO YOU DON’T AGREE WITH WHAT I AM SAYING, TAKE A LOOK AT THE CRIME RATE, HOW MANY BLACK BOYS/MEN ARE KILLING EACH OTHER?

IS THAT THEIR MOTHER’S FAULT? BLACK WOMEN HATE FOR EACH OTHER ARE NOT THAT STRONG AS YOU MEN, WE ARE NOT THE ONE OUT THERE KILLING EACH OTHER

I 6am hate no one, I am disappointed in the deep south though.

*IM LIGHT

Why r ppl sayin “IM LIGHT” OR “IM DARK” this topic is about black women hating each other not skin shade. Is that a factor in black-on-black female hate? Maybe but the fact remains black is still black even if its very light. There is no light skin/ dark skin box on applications.

I’d better stop

AND FOR THE RECORD ALL SHADES OF BLACK ARE BEAUTIFUL THERE IS SOMETHING IN EVERY SHADE FOR A BEHOLDER TO FIND BEAUTY IN WHY DO U THINK WE THINK LIGHT SKIN IS GOOD…CAUSE ITS CLOSER TO WHAT IS EMBEDDED IN THE BRAIN AS IDEAL AND WHAT ON THIS EARTH IS SEEN AS SUPREME OVER ALL …WHITE.. AND LIGHT IS CLOSER TO WHITE I SAY( IN MY CHRIS ROCK VOICE)

I just finished swimming in my lady cop friend and sent her to bed for a few hours! She will recharge and attempt to handle round two later on this evening.

@ nlsuperstar,

Not to be mean but missy elliott does not look like halle berry

Going to see “Miss March” ya’ll

you guys are funny

Essence magazine is hardly the forum for trying to resolve ANY issues of black-on-black hatred. Having devoted issue after issue after issue on the supposedly HORRIBLE nature of black men, then, surprise, surprise the publishers (pimpettes) noticed this epidemic of black-female-on-black-female hatred.

Well, that pathetic publication has for YEARS promoted the idea that the solution to all the black female’s problem was to get a white man, now what?

Are they next going to propose that all black women dump their black female friends and only associate with white women?

Like I said, that bunch of “pimpettes” ought to LOOK IN THE DAMN MIRROR — they are not part of any solution, they just pimp problems for MONEY.

ONLY PEOPLE I HATE ON IS NO ONE……….I JUST PRAY FOR THEY SIMPLE ASSES IF NEED BE………HATING TAKES ENERGY ID RATHER USE LOVING SO……..TAKE DAT…PUNK

Damn, I almost dropped my laptop in the jacuzzi.

Whats studin’? is that some kind of darkskin deep south ebonics?

I LIKE HOW YOU SAID STUPID AND GHETTO I WAS LOOKING FOR A PHRASE TO DISCRIBE YOUR RUBBISH OF A COMMENT POST…THANKS FOR THAT….THANKS.

NLR superstar,

Those dont look like prayers youre typing to me dummy.

@ pam, really?

OH I PRAY FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU IT TAKES SOMETHING ELSE….COME ON WITH IT

6AM

and black women wouldnt “hate” on each other if BLACK MEN and other races wouldnt put us against each other all the time based on how long our hair is..if our hair is real..and what our skin tone is.

6AM YOU FUNNY AS HELL BRUH

@ Pam,

gabriel union=halle berry
kelly rowland= stacy dash
naomi campbell=christina millian

get what Im saying?

You work on a sunday, you shoulda stayed in school

* kinda like the damn wig

LOL….I DIDNT SAY DIE…..I SAID DROP ….JUST DROP AND SLEEP FOR A FEW HOURS…YOU CAN GET BACK UP LATER THE WORLD NEEDS YOU……..(YOU WISH)

I swear my lady friend is in the bedroom still moaning and she has been asleep for about half an hour! Best believe I put it down for her and she even let me put the cuffs on her!

WTF is up with deep south educations?

Damn, I almost dropped my laptop in the jacuzzi.
___________________________________________________

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know but I wish we can find common ground or a solution. I love my sistas just can’t tolerate hating without a cause other than size and skin tone.

6am@ by your name i assume you are a hood rat get a life please do the black community justice by getting a college degree LOL im like 20 years workin in the adidas store in upper manhattan and soon to graduate i aint gotta brag or somethin but aint lettin hoodrats like 6am get a man like me

THE ADIDAS STORE IN UPPER MANHATTAN. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WHAT ARE YOU ASSISTANT MANAGER NOW?

@ twinkle,

heres what im gonna do to help mend the rift between dark and lite sista’s;

Im gonna catch a plane to memphis, go to the gehtto mall and follow only darkskin sista’s, I’ll stop them and ask “do you really need that Mrs Fields” or do you like having legs that look like giant swollen “X’s”

Kelly rowland>>>>>>>>>>Beyonce Real talk!

Remember people theres no recession in the oil industry!

*could do it

Lol asst mgr at adidas store in “upper” manhattan, does that mean you get white people their running shoes faster than the asst. in lower manhattan?

20 years?

should I leave now ya’ll?

Sandra rose hates black people period.

Its6amHoGetOut, the smartest, most interesting, most honest, and lets be real, the only opinion that really matters.

LOL SERIOUSLY WOULD YOU STOP MESSING WITH PPL…

HE DOESN’T MEAN HARM EVERYONE HE’S JUST POKING FUN AT THE SENSITIVE PPL

6AM CUT IT OUT…LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR PPL BEFORE THEY HUNT U DOWN, LOL

AKeys_Stan@ no she dont she hate the light skinned ones

*OMG I MEAN COULD NOT DATE HIM I KEEP SAYING COULD

Its6amHoGetOut@ why did you get all worked up i was just joking with you lmao

Serena is just hard to look at. real talk

@ 6am,
was that before or after taxes? Lol just jokin

smh @urban gorilla’s wow self hate at it’s finest .

Z SAID 6AM IS A FLAMER FROM HAWAII WHO IS METROSEXUAL

AKeys_Stan@ serena aint for girl to look at.are u homo?

maybe we should take our money and move to africa, away from the white laws and systems, we wouldnt have this problem. and the white people should move back to europe.

also. please dont group all black women together. we are not all like that. i am not “triflin”, i dont walk around with a scowl, i dont give every female that walk pass me the side eye, etc.
stop acting like we’re all the same. cause we’re not!

Ms NYC,

salary taxed at 34% (no kids), gov taxes bonus at 50%, so it was all before taxes luv.

@ truth speaker,

lol youre funny!

MY 401 K PLAN IS GO BE FAT IF I WORK ANOTHER 20 YRS.

@ a black man

No I’m not. I am very comfortable with my sexuality I love men especially black men and I also love women i can Appreciate a womens body or looks women are the most beautiful and Important Creatures on earth so no I’m not gay not even Bi but give me Jessica Alba and I’ll be gay for about 10 mins

Wow. I’m Black, and have lots of educated Black female friends, and we never have the problems that this article is talking about. And it is not a light skin/ dark skin problem either. Out of my group of 7, 4 are dark skinned, and 3 are light, and we never argue about light skin/ dark skin problems. I know a lot of people are joking, but it is very frustrating to always hear the sterotypical comments about dark skinned women. I’m dark, my real hair goes about mid way down my back, and I’ve never had any problems with someone just cause they were light. My family ranges from ‘can pass for white’ to ‘midnight black’, and we were not brought up with the colorism issue. I think articles like the one Essence has are just perpurtrating the stereotype.

@Daywalker_ Not to Be Intimidated

I swear my lady friend is in the bedroom still moaning and she has been asleep for about half an hour! Best believe I put it down for her and she even let me put the cuffs on her!
**************************************
Dead at “even let me put the cuffs on her!”
That’s hilarious… Is that something men like? My husband never brought that up but I’ve always wanted to use cuffs!

I NOTICED AKEYS SAID SHE BE GAY FOR 10 MIN. WITH JESSICA ALBA NOT A BLACK WOMAN. HMMM

# 1 reason……lighter vs darker skin
sad but true…..My darker sisters(some not all) look the other way when i approach them and it breaks my heart, but i hold my head up and proceed on. 1 Day this 2 will end

@cali-soul

Well said. Even though black ppl have issues that doesn’t shelter other races from their having their own..

oh, and 6am – why niggettes are only dark skinned?

How did this thread become light skin against dark skin? If that what you women hate about, you may need to reevaluate your lives. Adults hating on skin color= stupidity

Unfortunately most other cultures dislike African Americans…I’m west indian and yes I know its wrong but my parents used to say that the americans dont have any upbringing…

not that its entirely true… I think many of the southern blacks have manners

ALSO COME CHECK OUT MY BLOG/SITE AND SHARE ANY GROUPIE EXPERIENCES PLEASE @

TALES

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BLOG SPOT.

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THANKS!

NEW POSTINGS AND POLLS

It’s actually women in general.
For some reason we’re very catty with each other.

My guess is that one of the reasons is that alot of black women never received the psychological help they need to make themselves happy or others. Hating is much easier, but of course more harmful

@Inbetween

Their are blacks in Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Atlanta, and NYC who are fourth and fifth generation graduates of medical and law schools, who have far more impressive pedigrees than anyone that you are ever likely to have known from the west indies.

The current head of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons is a BLACK MAN who graduated from Meharry Medical College in 1965; His wife is a psychiatrist who graduated from Howard Medical School in 1969; His sister-in-law graudated from Meharry in 1976; His late father-in-law graduated from Meharry in the 1930s.

I know at LEAST a DOZEN black families with similar ties to Meharry, Howard, and Lincoln Universities (MO and PA).

You need to broaden your circle of aquaintences to include some OLD LINE blacks of character and accomplishment.

OOPS..

THAT SHOULD READ

“There are …..”

EASY..

THE MISEDUCATION OF THE NEGRO BY CARTER G. WOODSON!!!!!

READ IT!

@ BOLO-

WELL SAID BROTHA!!!

@just saying
that’s cool and hearing positive things about our is great except I’m not one of those ppl who are gonna be shocked or offended when you react to what I said with name dropping educated blacks

If anything I’m more accostumed to meeting knowledgeable ppl rather than “ghetto, loud, sad” ones

either way good to hear but no need to prove me wrong I already know good black ppl come from all walks of life

ps: I’m educated, my job is great, my community is safe and well kept. I actually dont need to broaden anything but I get why you’ve reacted that way

GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I didn’t even bother to read some of the other blogs because I knew I’d find as much garbage as there is in this article.

THIS IS NOT A BLACK THING!!! ANY RICH CELBRITY WITH AN EGO WILL CLASH WITH ANOTHER RICH CELEBRITY WITH AN EGO!!!

This can even be said for regular people. Anyone who is insecure will try to tear down someone they feel threatened by. Sadly it does tend to occur more frequently with women but TRUST it is the nature of HUMAN BEINGS!!!!!

*about our ppl

simple answer: black women are never satisfied with themselves. they always want what another female has..hair, clothes, body type, etc.

For all the things that make us one, the reality is that there are many things that separate us; skin color; socioenomic status; zetas, akas, deltas; educated; uneducated; relaxers; weaves; natural; unmarried with children; married with children; overweight; normal weight; those that live in the hood; those that don’t; those who are afrocentric, conscious; those who are not; those who subscribe to organized religion; those who eschew this; etc., etc.

I’m light-skinned and have known the hatred of certian darker-skinned sisters; women who despise me because of my color. 97 percent of dark skinned women I have known have been kind employers; kind friends, etc. But there has been a small amount of dark-skinned women who have hated me because of my color. Really, this has brought great pain to me, but at the end of the day I look at it as their shortcoming.

@Inbetween

Maybe I over reacted, but my family and most of my late parents’ friends have had ties to Fisk U., and Meharry Medical College across 18th Avenue from Fisk in Nashville for three generations. I know people from my parents’ generation with ties to Lincoln University in PA, and to Howard in DC for equally long periods.

The biggest problem that plagues black people is that since integration (which was NECESSARY) far too many blacks no longer have a sense of RACIAL PRIDE.

Read the comments on this site (not just this tread), listen to the conversation in clubs, at parties and in other social gatherings, and tell me that we have not lost a sense of the COMMON GOOD (we blacks).

I applaud ambition, drive and initiative. But when
a people ONLY value MONEY, and what it can buy, you get the social disease that inflicts much of black america.

Please, I do not agree that Black women hate each other. In my opinion, it is just a competition thing. White women and other races do as well, but when Black women do it, we consider it self-hate. Sometimes when we as females see another beautiful Black woman, we may feel intimidated and pre-judge that person in the most horrible ways because we believe that we are competing against that person for male attention. This is what females and males do because it is in our natural behaviors, the same as with animals during mating season. Although there are some people of all races that will hate a person if they are pretty or whatever superficial reasons that they may have, I still would not consider it to be related to just Black women.

@ Reality check, my points exactly!!

AKeys_Stan XOXOXO

White girls make for better friends …most black women want to tear your head off if you say anything or something to them. I’m black and i have no Black girlfriends . I wish i had a black girlfriend ..But it is what it is
___________________________________________________

I disagree. My best friend is black. We have been best friends ever since we were 13, and we are now 25. She has never wronged me. She has been closer to me than my own sister. I don’t think true friendship comes in a color. I simply feel that friendships are just like relationships. God sends us friends. I guess I don’t really look at it as, I have a black friend, I have a white friend, I have a Hispanic friend because the truth of the matter is that I don’t consider many people my “true” friends, but I will say that I have associates from several different ethnicities. I think there is good and bad in all races. You have to love people if you want them to love you. My mother always said, “You have to be a friend to have a friend.” Her statement is so true. I thank God everyday that I don’t judge people according to their appearances.

And i don’ t hate on anybody i just hate people attitudes, comments, or outfit, or them period, and speak on it, it is not written anywhere that i have to like a worship anybody, sound to me like the real self hating people are the stans and worshipers, they need that image to look up to, I don’ t, so if that makes me a hater in someone’ s book then be it, but remember I love Michelle Obama , so any other female is pretty much canceled, Now why would i love her and “hate on you” Glass houses

Often times black women hate on one another in an effort to uplift themselves. The saddest part is that this starts with little girls and continues into adulthood. I don’t think it will ever change!!I have been hated on my entire life, and the older I get the greater the hate!!

So many people of many colors and classes are simply remedial when it comes to interpersonal relationships. It’s not only black people — it’s everybody but for purposes of this discussion — I will focus.

Yes it is unfortunate that sharing skin color doesn’t automatically translate to friendship — so what?

Get over it.

Grow your own skills, talents and joys while someone else is busy finding ways to perpetuate hate.

A woman who takes the time to love herself and cultivate her talents will find good friends who appreciate and love them for being people with integrity.

And will be saved from being bothered with unsophisticated and corrupt that are backstabbers anyway.

i think black people hate each other period and black women just plainly show it. i think deep down we are insecure as a people and attack each to make ourselves feel powerful. i come from an african nation and we go through the same thing. Black people just will never love each other and come together as we would hope.

really everyone needs to LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK ARE U SOLVING THE PROBLEM OR PERPETUATING IT!!! START WITH THE MAN/WOMAN IN THE MIRROR AND BECOME THE CHANGE U WANT TO SEE!!!

Jealously isn’t always about material things. I don’t have many material things at all but I have a man that loves me despite my flaws and that alone is enough to make me happy. And there are so many people that have a great deal of material things in the area I work in but they are so unhappy.

Then you have some sistas that are mad because they believe they are better looking, or have more money, or eduction and fancy jobs that believe that that alone is enough to attract a life mate. But if your attitude is stank all of those other qualities do not matter. Because in the end a friend and a lover want to come to a person that is sweet and kind and gentle with their hearts. They don’t want to come to constant attitude and vanity and materialistic obessions.

We are so hard on each other. We can be so quick to come down on each other because of status that we forget that people are human beings first and deserve equal respect. If more of us gave each other love we could really change the world. Because when women have each other’s backs it makes it harder for men to treat any woman in a way that would do her harm.

@ kigali

how dare you use a term like ‘dark butt’ then try to sound intellectual?

the article was about the solidarity of black women – why is the behavior of some black girls – so called ‘dark butts’ the go to point?

yellow girls, BTW act out in their own ways….

paper bag party anyone?

we use different ways of oppressing one another.

it’s all ugly – all needs to stop.

ohh

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Damn Leeha! I loved your responses. I’ve ended many debates with weak men who blame the disfunction in our community on black women.

In every other racial group in the WORLD, the man is the head of household. Only black men are missing from the family unit in large numbers. PERIOD. It is a STATE OF EMERGENCY.

Denial may help you cope Kigali, but your argument is invalid.

It just blows my mind to hear men say, “black women are getting pregnant irresponsibly, raising irresponsible boys, depending on welfare, etc” The black man has to take responsiblity for his absence.

I went to an major university in the northeast and do you know who were missing in large numbers? BLACK MEN. I am a medical professional at a major trauma center and do you know who is missing from higher level medical/professional positions? BLACK MEN. I see more black janitors than medical doctors. there are more black women on my unit than black men.

Black men, please fix your malfunction before attempting to tell the world that black women are the blame.

Black women? How about black men hating black women also? They are all looking for white women. What’s up with that?

A black woman does not always recognize her own individualize self worth or value. Therefore, is envy of those who do and are walking in their own destiny.

This sounds like the thinking of a black woman I want in my life. I date all kinds, but this is what I want in a black woman. Not a Shaniqua. Not a Saditty. Just this.

Angel, I love you.

“Fact did you know
78% of black women are overweight and 50% is obese”

@ A_Keys and Slide…

Wrong! Wrong! And Wrong again dummies!!
Actually, Black women are NOT leading “the charge in morbid obesity.” Mexicans are…according to the recent data from NHANES. My aunt has a degree in nutrition so she has significantly studied obesity stats. Believe it or not, Whites are a close second. Statistically, Mexican Americans are leading in both adult and childhood obesity. Whites are a close second, and Blacks are third, with 23%. Its sad, most Blacks think that Blacks are leading in obesity…and damn near everything else. Blacks do have higher rates of cancer, cholesterol, and hypertension than Whites and that does need to be addressed.

The bottom line is that, traditionally, Blacks have been conditioned to believe that we are unhealthier than other races because of our genetics and thus, they don’t do anything about it. Every time you look around you hear “Blacks have higher rates of this and that.” No wonder many think that we are the most obese…but we are NOT. Kinda like when people say there are more Blacks on welfare than anyone else, but the stats tell a different tale.
And don’t think for a minute that there are a lot of obese Black men as well because BMIs tell the true tale. Please don’t just focus on the Black woman because as a RACE it is a problem. I cant tell you how disgusted I am lately with the lazy, unkept, morbidly obese body structure of some of these black men out here. Its a problem with the whole race, not just black women. You black men loooove to put every burden on the shoulders of black women while yall sat back and fight for NOTHING. SMDH…sad.

its not a women thing. its a black thing. women are the stronger force in the black community. when aggressive people come in connect with each other there is automatic animosity. thats why black on black crime was to rampid.Us being the aggressive culture caused that. and like i always say…it starts with the man. women as a whole are their man’s supporters. when men maintain that state of mind the women can only follow.think about everything women have been accused of…..where did it start from….the man. you have to solve the source of the problem…not run from it….like some black men insist on doing by going with white women. that just leaves us with the problems they created…thus this article.

i hope someone sees my comment because it is the truth!!!!!!!!!

*GIVE EACH OTHER..

I think that people just focus on the BLACK RACE in what ever they want to talk bad about, b/c all races have this problem. Some women can get along and others can’t it’s just not the black race it’s all races but people just stay focus on the black race. I have seen many black women get along and help one another out and then u have ur few that is just mad at the world. It is what it is in all races dealing with women. We as people in all races need to stop dividing everything up dealing with what race does what and just focus on the person that’s doing it. It’s dealing with that person and their battles in life.

Funny…all this sound advice and by the next story everybody will be right back to hatin on each other again. Vicious cycle.

I’m glad someone made a point to address this issue,b/c it needs to stop. Black females need to stop hating on one another and step their game up then you won’t have to hate on the next chick with speed.

Lots of explanations here….as Chris Rock once asked…what ever happend to crazy?!?!

as a black man i love my sistas but when it comes to color its not that their white light dark yellow green etc its about the inside so please stop hatin.
Some black men dates white girls cuz they think life is easier some might not date white women and date darker it depends on the person. it aint like black men just date white. black men who loves black women excist every where. And stop Sayin We hate Black women

and we dont hate black women we love black women but they are the ones that think we hate them and would date white women instead
so its black women hatin on Black men

Women have different relationships then men. . bottom line. Men get along in large groups and generally women don’t, it’s not black vs white. I am a successful black woman and have friends of all different races but I absolutely cherish my sistas they encourage and support me no matter what i do.

yeah, & i was taunted all my life by yellow broads who resented my confidence & hated on by romantic rivals of all hues –

the truth is, most guys who like girls – like girls, & they usually like them pretty

dark light whatever.

Why…because WOMEN are so insecure! Granted, most women are insecure about weight, hair, family, education, etc. (personally, I think it’s genetic) but I’m talking about insecurities that go much deeper than that…insecurities that make them evil, bitter women. Add that with their unhappiness (men, money, etc.) and it makes for a truly unpleasant workday, friendship, etc.

It doesn’t matter the color…it’s the same! I work in an office with 14 women and I manage 5 of them…DRAMA all the time about nothing! All women aren’t like this, but most are! I have two best friends and people (women) find it amazing that we’ve been friends for so long…go figure!

I have a black sista (a temp) working for me (3 months) and I’ve given her every opportunity, but she just doesn’t get it. My manager (white) wanted to get rid of her a long time ago, but noooooo, I said, “she’ll work out”. Unfortunately, I’m going to let her know this will be her last week because she let her own insecurities with me get the best of her and I was the one always encouraging her and trying to help her (4 kids, really needs to work, etc.)…so sad!!!

It depends on the person not the color……some women get along and others don’t and that is with all races it seems to me that people just focus more on the black race to make others look better when really most black women will help out the next female when need we can be very supportive and u have those that just stay mad at the world it’s about that person not the color b/c every person is not the same so u can’t say oh only black women hate one another if that’s the case who do we hang out with and talk to? our selves? if we hate each other so much we wouldn’t have any friends.

because black women,are very known to bring each other down and themselves for no reason, and they are also insecure and have low self esteem.how do i knw? my black girlfriends told me this.

LOL, that is why i don’t really care what a black chic says cause its always dumb and irrational, its like listening to daffy duck, they are retarded and only known for making babies.

i know for a fact that WHITE CHICS HATE EACH OTHER. period. hispanic and indian very close second .. we just take long to warm up to each other but i wouldn’t say we ‘out-right’ hate each other .. we always assume [she's a snob or ghetto] before getting to know the person .. that’s our problem .. but we don’t have this above other races and ladies don’t be fooled into believing this.

Kigali sounds like either a gay black man or gay white man but I can’t tell which one but one thing is for sure, he is gay.

@ I Am Who I Am

No, I peeped A_Keys remarks. I just chose to ignore her. But thanks for blastin her so she knows that she’s not foolin anybody with the non-sense.

However, need to correct you on one thing. The AKA’s were the Paper Bag test administrators, lol. The founders of Delta included several dark skinned women.

@Niasa

Perhaps part of the reason that you are getting those kinds of looks is because people perceive your apparent distate for what you call ‘black women’ as if you aren’t one yourself (just because you are light-skinned). Despite your comment having relevance from a substantive point (a blackwoman’s disposition is important in how she is perceived rightly-or-wrongly) you’re many comments in which you appear to be distancing yourself from other black women and what they do is self-explanatory example of why light-skinned women are given an immediate attitude by darker-skinned sister: because they think they are better!

AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ESSENCE COVER IT IS! LOVE TO ALL MY BLACK SISTERS!

@ Its6amHoGetOut, the smartest, most interesting, most honest, and lets be real, the only opinion that really matters.

10. Black women are laughing right now, You niggettes wanna kill me!

*****************************************************
You ain’t never lied becasue I was ROFL at that entire thing!! Defintiely funny with a lot of truth sprinkled in it.

ILL PEE ON A BLACK WOMAN’S FACE ANYTIME!! DRIP DRIP DRIP

It really doesn’t even matter what race you are because women going to hate regardless white girls hate on each other as well lets not just limited to black women! Latino women hate as well also!

My boyfriends wife came to my house and jumped on me after she found out I was seeing our man. Wasn’t she wrong?

I am always kind to my sistas. I treat them with respect, just like everyone else, until they give me reason not to – which is rare. And rarely to I encounter sistas who are strait up rude.

a black man : I KNOW!i have been in africa and the light skin dark skin thing does not exist things that makes you go hmm hmm but in the states it’ s on! Get some self esteem

@whitney
damn u just said the same thing i wrote, i am from south afirca, who resides in the state, i am mixed and i have witness alot of black women in the state feeling so insecure of thier skin. that is one of the reason why i will never marry one.

Man black girls got attitude problems anyway they’ll always hate eachother

IM MY COUNTRY WE CALL LIGHT SKIN CHICS, YELLOW OR ALBINOS!! LMAO

And yes I relax my hair but I don’t hate my self. Relaxers are great !

Hmmm… maybe it’s because I’m not after black men, but I love my sisters! If I’m checking them out a beautiful black woman in a club it’s because I’m proud of her! Nothing brings me more joy than to see a beautiful and well-mannered young black woman. Maybe some of that “animosity” when a black woman checks out another black woman is being misinterpreted! For me it’s not jealousy, it’s pride!

Besides, there are plenty of WHITE men to go around! Haha!

@GIVEDADDYSOMESUGAR
“Africans do not have anything on Black Americans in terms of culture, beauty or morals”

ROTFL you should have never said that you just confirmed the stereotype that black Americans are stupid ignorant and dumb and i know it all mean the same but it was for emphasis, Africans are so beautiful and this without l’ oreal or a weave in their heads, and culture? just shut up because their culture is so beautiful when black Americans is basically non existent! oh wait grinding up a pole and chasing the richest dude yep i forgot and moral? don’ t yall sleep with your cousins? or contact all kind of disease you should have just shut up

Eritrean’s leader is considered one of the worse 10 dictators in the world.

bye yall!

6am, i love you all, especially if you were born here!

5:37pm bye all, gotta meet my girl at Ala Moana!

Mahalo

@6am
it’s so funny on how u call africans shaka zulu, they are better that u monkey ugly looking species and have more brains and are more educated than ya”ll. most of u should still be lynched until this day and shipped back to africa ASAP. u ugly monkeys.

@6AM
the only girl u are meeting will be ur crackwh*re black ugly aids mother.

peace

italians hates african american, we call y’all apes.

and obama is african, u dumb f8ck!!

goodnight coward.

sincerely 6am (GTFOH)

SO SO SAD, LOOK AT THE WAY WE ATTACK EACH OTHER.

@Its6amHoGetOut

It doesn’t matter if/why I came to this country or not. First of all this ain’t your country, you are a minority just like me. LOL. Second that doesn’t mean I don’t love my country which I do.

Personal attacks eh? One, I have soft hair like the majority of East Africans unlike you unfortunate nappy headed people, so no I do not wear a weave. What makes you think I’m dating white? You think all black men are stupid, abusive, ugly, and thugs like you African American men? FYI, my boyfriend is Eritrean. Dummy all of Africa don’t look the same. Compare East Africans like Iman and Liya Kebeke to your women and see the damn difference b!tch.

Let me put it this way….A mixed African American doesn’t look half as good as a full-blooded Eritrean. And that’s real!! Please don’t embarrass yourself any further. Now comb that smelly cornbraids of yours and put yourself to sleep.

now i understand why black men wont wife black women duuh

ooh i meant african american women haha

so for a black man, learned from HIS mistakes from being wrong in a marriage, ready to settle for real and earning good $$, solid brother w/east coast mentality and moral character off of faith i ask 1 question: why can’t i find one of these sista’s complaining of no good men?

@continue to act as triflin’ as humanly possible to each other

I love my fellow black sistas! yall all BEAUTIFUL!

The ones who embelish in the hating are smply insecure. Because of their unhappiness, Many are unhapy with mostly their looks/appearance and/or, marital status. They can’t fathom seeing a sista’ THEY PERCEIVE as doing better than they. Now if the sista’ is better looking, they become truly green. And don’t let her be happy because that causes their blood to boil. As a result of the bitterness, they dddly feel uplifted by attempting to tear her down with crazy looks, by spreading false rumors and by doing all the silly things they can to give them a temporary fix (Uplift). Needless to say, the happier ones they attempt tearing down are always thriving in all facets of their lives. I think good things happen to good people!

It all comes down to insecurity…with appearance. Those who are insecure within themselves feel uplifted by tearing another down by treating the other badly (ugly looks, creating false rumorsm sabotage on the work place and the rest of the crazy things they tend to do). With a little therapy, they’ll get better. I say steer clear of them. I do.

Thats because history has proved it that black woman are emotionally unstable. She can never be statisfied. She has no love for the blackman so she goes to the whiteman he fo sho is not going to accept them when the sun comes up. So she turned to her girlfriend but to unhappy persons cannot make a happy couple. And she wonders why the brothers have started to dating out there race ni$@er Please!

In my opinion, the Brothers that do that are no damn good any how, and damn things aren’t that bad, lol…

It a vaginal thing, color doesn’t have much to do with it. Women cross cultures are self-hating, and take their frustration and petty jealousies out on each other. It just makes me sick.

The only black girlfriends I have are my relatives.

This is so true. Black people quit trying to make it seem like its a smaller issue than it is. I know all women hate but I have never seen a group of women have so much hate and envy towards each other like black women do. I used to have a lot of black girlfriends in elementary school but ever since middle school…I was just done lol. I was the new girl at my middle school and the black chicks gave me HEL. Their mean glares, the rumors they spread about me, the physical and verbal abuse…and I didn not give these girls not 1 reason to treat me bad. I’m shy and I don’t talk ish or start drama, yet these girls wouldn’t let me catch a break because they thought that I acted all that (notice this is one of their many excuses for not liking someone and covering up the fact that they’re really just jealous). I thought that this was funny since they were some of the most cocky, stuck up conceited snobs lol. High school wasn’t any better. I had more black females hating on me than I had on my side. It was non black girls that accepted me in their groups with open arms and had my back while the black girls took any and every opportunity to spit on me and put me down. I have more black girlfriends now, not all are the same, but black women need to stop wasting so much energy trying to tear each other down and try to pick each other up and be united.