Dear Bossip: We Had Stipulations About A Threesome, But I Awoke To The Bed Rocking & They Claim Nothing Was Going On

Dear Bossip,

I am constantly going over and over with this in my head ever since the incident happened.

Well, my boyfriend and I had a threesome about three years ago. It was with a good friend who I had known for about ten years. We talked about it before the incident occurred and discussed the rules and regulations. He was not to kiss her or give her any special attention.

The first time was fine. The second time I was so drunk that I don’t remember anything that happened when we all made it back to the house. The third time, yes, there was a third time, I remember the incident, but something happened. I think. I woke up to the bed rocking.

See, we fell asleep after the session. When I woke up the bed was rocking. I guess that is what woke me up. I’m looking like I know they are “not.” I turn over to face them, he was in the middle between me and her, and it stopped.

He says that they weren’t doing anything, and her a** says she doesn’t remember. I know I should not be holding on to this, but it bothers me that I don’t really know, and I have a feeling like there was something going on while I was asleep. I know I was wrong about sooo many things on this, but I always wanted to do this, and, because I kind of had a thing for her all these years.

I just didn’t want the other parties catching feelings and doing stuff behind my back. I don’t know what else to do to get the truth. I need the truth to move on from this. What should I do? I don’t really talk to her anymore since I confronted her about it two years ago. – Something Happened

Dear Ms. Something Happened,

So, let me get this straight, you had a threesome with your boyfriend and good female friend of ten years, and after the third time of hooking up you woke up to the bed rocking, and you turn over and confront them but he professes nothing was going on and she says she couldn’t remember, so you stopped talking to her, but you’re still with your boyfriend? WOW!

You are about as bright as the donkey eating curd next to you.

I don’t understand why you would consent to a threesome with your boyfriend in the first place. NEVER AGREE TO A THREESOME BECAUSE IT WILL FOREVER CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. And, I don’t care what agreements, contracts, rules, or regulations you had in place. A man will agree to anything just so he can sleep with two other women. Hell, you could have said we are both going strap up and take turns screwing you, and he would have said, “Okay.”

You are the dumba** for trying to create all these stipulations knowing good damn well that as a man he would say, “Of course I won’t catch feelings. No I won’t kiss her. And, I won’t give her any special attention. I love you. I’m doing this because you want to do it.” You are giving him carte blanche to participate in a threesome! HELLO! Now, you’re all in your feelings because they caught feelings, and left you out. Bwahahahahaha! And, you know what, they are probably still screwing each other right now.

You are simple. Real simple. No, I take that back, you are a simple donkey. You not only have a threesome, but you do it three times talking about you always had a thing for her. Well, sweetie, obviously she never had a thing for you, but your man. Bloop! Bloop!

But, the sad part about these threesomes is that two of the times you don’t know what happened, or can’t remember what took place. So, it’s obvious and clear to me that you were the third wheel in all of this.

This is what I know happened and what went down. They plotted and planned to get you drunk the second time, and while you were knocked out sleep they got their freak on. You can’t remember what happened, so they could have been freaking all up in the house. You see, after that first time y’all hooked up they knew they had some chemistry, and they were like, “Oh, we got to do this again.” And, you conveniently set you and your boyfriend up. You gave him a free pass, and he took advantage of it while you were drunk. So, they figured they would do it a third time, and sure enough, after you fell asleep they continued doing them. And, when you woke up all of sudden neither of them knew what was going on.

Ma’am, I know you are S-L-O-W, so I am going to spell this out in donkey-ese. Pay close attention to this: You are laying up in the bed with your boyfriend and another woman, you feel the bed rocking, and you wake up and then you turn over, and your boyfriend is in between you and your good friend, and all of sudden the rocking stops and he says he wasn’t doing anything. What the hell do you think was going on? The bed was rocking. His back is toward you, and he is spooning her, or up in between her legs. But, your incompetent a** says, “I have a feeling something was going on while I was asleep, but I don’t really know.”

See, this is what I mean when I say that a woman will walk in and catch her man in the bed, in mid stroke with another woman and he will tell you that nothing was going on. And, you will believe him, and then get mad at her and want to fight the other woman, but you will go back to your man as if nothing ever happened. And, here you are laying UP IN THE BED with him and the other woman and the bed is rocking, just a swaying and moving, and he is just a pumping back and forth all up in the groove. And, you turn over and look them in their face and they say, “Nothing is going on.” But, because you know deep down in your spirit, ‘cause it’s troubling you and it doesn’t sit well with you, you believe him and not her because she is a woman and women are sneaky and you can’t trust them around your man, so, you end your ten year relationship with her, and remain committed to him. Yeah, you’re really smart.

Look here, Missy, and this is the truth. They were screwing while you were sleeping. They were getting it on, and they caught feelings. He was kissing her, and giving her special attention because he enjoyed being with her. And, they probably had been meeting up without you and getting it on, and they are probably still meeting up without you. You will never get the truth out of either of them. They will never tell you what happened, what went down, and what is still going down.

The best way to move forward is to accept that you will never get the truth. NEVER! And, you need to own up to the fact that you introduced this threesome to your man, gave him entrée and access to your good friend, and they caught feelings, and were screwing one another without you, and you became the third wheel. He is not loyal to you, and neither is she. I hope you move on from him, end the relationship, and learn a valuable lesson from this. You can never have a threesome and expect no one to catch feelings, or that someone will not get special treatment and attention. Someone is going to get left out, or feel left out. Someone is going to catch feelings. And, two of the parties will decide to make you the third wheel, and ultimately they will leave you out of the mix. – Terrance Dean

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