Dear Bossip: My Fiance's Ex-Girlfriend Put Roots On Me & I'm Scared

Dear Bossip,

I have currently been with my fiancé for two years. We began dating while I was a senior in high school, and he was a year older than me.

We met through mutual friends; it was a long distance relationship at first, but we drove to see each other during the weekends. In the beginning of our relationship, everything seemed to go pretty good. All couples have minor arguments, but it was nothing serious enough to break up.

Before my graduation, I planned on having a celebration at this prestigious hotel, but after I made plans, my boyfriend didn’t show up because he was locked up! Yes, he missed my graduation for a crime that he didn’t commit (he was cleared of everything; they are still searching for the culprit).

In the four months that he was gone, I began college in his hometown, and I began to make new friends. I started planning life without him because I was raised to never depend on a man. Once he got out of jail, we reunited. I had found out that we were expecting our first child (I was only 19 at the time). Things couldn’t have gone better. But, here’s the catch. My fiancé has crazy ex girlfriends who would stalk his Facebook page and find me.

One ex, “Carla,” even went to the extreme of finding out my phone number through mutual friends in the town. She would ask me to go out with her. With me being eager to be accepted by someone who was once a part of my fiancé, I agreed.

Once Carla and I went to dinner, she began to tell me things about my fiancé, mentioning that he was texting her about hooking up. When I asked for her to show me the messages she hesitated and told me that she had deleted the texts. Not one to take sides, I excused myself from the table and called my fiancé. He told me that the only reason he texted her was so that he could pay her some money back. He screenshot the convo and sent it to me. I had no reason not to believe him. I cut the luncheon short with Carla, and I went back to home.

Once there, my fiancé’s entire mood changed. He began to ask why I was around Carla, and he wasn’t very happy about it. When I walked out the bedroom to go to the bathroom, Carla called, and she was speaking badly on my part. I listened to hear what my fiancé said. All he told her was not to worry about it! I immediately ran into the room and told him that he would have to go if he felt that way. He then started saying things out of character and left.

As time went on, we reconciled, but something wasn’t right. I began to bleed heavily, and the thought of miscarriage came to my mind, but my doctor told me that it wasn’t. I didn’t buy it, so I called a prophet. All she would tell me was that I had an advanced case, and my relationship would get darker if I didn’t heal myself. I was confused as to what she meant.

We went a few more months into our relationship when one day my fiancé snapped for no reason. He attacked me just because a male friend called me. The police was called, and he was sent to jail. I knew that something wasn’t right because his eyes looked crazy, sort of like a mad man. Fed up with everything, I spoke with a psychic. She told me that Carla had put “roots” on me and my fiancé when we had our luncheon. She placed something in my soup when I left the table to call my fiancé; whenever we became intimate, the evil transferred to him.

I didn’t believe it at first until I went to three more psychics who said the same thing. When I asked about my baby I was told that my baby died. Now, I have to have a surgery in a week to remove my baby (it was confirmed by my doctor, also). My fiancé is in jail still, and I’m beyond spooked and scared. Carla has started intimidating me through social media since I found out what she has done, and I don’t know what to do! – Speechless in Georgia

Dear Ms. Speechless in Georgia,

VooDoo? Roots? Really?

Well, I’ll tell you what, there is no power, no principality, no spirit, no witchcraft, no VooDoo, no HooDoo, no nothing greater than GOD! Therefore, find a spiritual home, a church, an institution that empowers and invokes the name of GOD, and let the praying sisters, the elders, and the mothers of the church lay hands on you.

Chile, you and this damn letter about “roots,” and “HooDoo,” I’m getting my Holy Oil and Water and dashing it all over my computer and eyes! He-be-be-be-ashanti-nelly-beyonce-hebe-jebe-guadalupe-be-a-fence-all-around-me!!

Ma’am, your fiancé is in jail for physically attacking while you were pregnant. This is where he needs to be. Why is he putting his hands on you, and you’re carrying his child? And, why are you justifying it with this roots story? These damn psychics have put it in your head that Carla did something to you, and that this is the reason for the demise and downfall of your relationship. Uhm, no! He attacked you because another man called your phone, and he’s jealous and controlling. Watch his behavior and actions.

Notice he is all upset because you met up and had lunch with Carla, and instead of questioning her motives, he questions yours. So, what’s really going on with him and Carla? What was he “going to take care of” when he spoke to Carla and you overheard him? You see this pattern going on with him? He can do whatever he wants, yet, when it comes to you and what you’re doing he throws a fit.

These psychics only told you what you wanted to hear. They didn’t give you any insights or prophetic visions based on what they knew, but based on what you told them. I bet they also told you that you have to come back and spend more money with them so they can remove the root that Carla supposedly put on you. SMDH!

Girl, get your spiritual life in order, and wake up. See what’s going on in your relationship and what’s going on with this man. He was in jail when you graduated from high school. Though, he was cleared of the charges, and, he wasn’t involved in the crime. However, his being locked up for four months previously, and, yet, again, he is currently locked up for attacking you, then I am led to believe that he doesn’t have a career, hell, he doesn’t even have a job. He’s not in school. He’s not doing anything with his life. So, what is he doing with his time, and his life? (Did the psychics predict him going to jail? Did the psychics tell you to get out of the relationship because he can’t do anything for you?) I’ll wait.

You moved to his hometown to attend college, yet, he’s not even in college. I bet he lives with you. Oh, snap. He was at your house when you came home from your lunch with Carla. So, he is laying up in your house. What bills does he pay? Is he paying the rent, or helping with the rent? Is he buying food, helping around the house, or doing anything for the household?

His behavior, and how he is reacting to you is someone who is jealous, and controlling. He is insecure, and he doesn’t want you finding out his secrets and exposing him as a fraud, cheater, liar, and abuser. Yes, he is all of those things because before you moved to his hometown you were in a long distance relationship and only saw him on the weekends. You don’t know what he was doing during the week, and who he was seeing. You don’t know the full extent of his life and who he is because, as you stated, you went out to lunch with Carla because you wanted to meet someone who was once a part of his life. Wrong move!

That was a wrong move from the jump. Why would you meet up with an ex of your fiancé? Smarts and common sense would tell you that she wasn’t going to sing his praises. And, you already was aware that she was stalking you on social media. So, why meet up?

And, if he was your fiancé, and you hadn’t met anyone who was once a part of his life, then this truly leads me to believe that you didn’t or hadn’t met any of his friends, family, or loved ones. Therefore, you don’t know anything about him. He kept you isolated and away from everyone else because he was hiding something. And, the true colors were revealed when he flipped out on you over Carla, and then he attacked you. Sweetie, open your eyes, and stop letting these psychics dilute your vision. The hell is wrong with you!

Girl, don’t you let this heifer harass and bully you. Block Carla on all your social media accounts. Delete her and hide your page. It’s easy to do. Don’t respond to her emails, or phone calls. As a matter of fact, take it to the police. End all these damn games, and stop playing with her. She got you all spooked because you believe you are spooked! SMDH!

Look, I’m sorry about the loss of your child. That is devastating and heartbreaking. I hope you have a successful surgery, and I hope you never have to experience anything like this again. You should speak with your doctor about what happened, preventive care measures, and knowing your body.

End the relationship. Don’t wait for him to come home from jail. There is no remorse or reconciliation for a man who will attack a woman, especially when you’re pregnant and carrying his child. Move on. Focus on school. Work on you, build your self-respect, and self-worth. And, stop calling and visiting these psychics. Find a church home, or spiritual center and build your spiritual relationship with a high power. So, the next time you won’t have to worry about somebody putting roots on you. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean:  loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE!

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