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This is the actress, Jessica Biel, in her new calendar looking proper. We were looking at her booty, and it seems very firm and makes Kim Kardashian’s cakes look a little sloppy in comparison. She should have entered that most beautiful cakes contest we reported on last week. Lord, have mercy on black men.

Are these the best white backs in the business???

More cake shots below.

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Apparently, Britney’s sons are taking after one of their parents:

Britney Spears may need to break out a bar of soap. In the Dec. 11 issue of Rolling Stone, she says her sons Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden James, 2, already have potty mouths.

“They’re starting to learn words like ‘stupid,’ and Preston says the F-word now sometimes,” Spears, 26, reveals.

“He doesn’t get it from us,” the singer stresses. “He must get it from his daddy [Kevin Federline]. I say it, but not around my kids.”

Britney says it isn’t her, but she’s a damn lie. She was probably cursing around her own mom since she could speak. And we already know Jamie Lynn was getting chopped down in the house when she was like 12. SMH

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They say decrepit pop hag Amy Winehouse is back in the sick house once again:

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has been admitted to a London hospital after suffering a bad reaction to medication, her representative said Tuesday. Winehouse, 25, went to the private London Clinic on Sunday, said her spokesman, Chris Goodman. He said Winehouse’s medication made her ill and her doctors asked her to come in so they could investigate. Goodman did not disclose what type of medication was involved, saying only it is part of her “ongoing treatment.” It was not clear Tuesday whether she had been discharged.

It’s about time this triflin’ wheffah say yes to rehab – dontcha think?? SMH.

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This is serious, but funny as hell as well:

The former “Access Hollywood” anchor described his early relationship with Lane as “flirtatious, unprofessional and improper” but said it soured after his wife, local Fox anchor Dawn Stensland, learned about it. The twice-divorced Lane, 36, vehemently denies any impropriety and has sued him for invasion of privacy and on other grounds.

The pair anchored the evening newscasts on KYW from 2004 to January, when Lane was fired after a Dec. 16 arrest in New York following a late-night scuffle with police. The charges were later dropped as part of a pretrial diversion program. She has a wrongful-termination suit pending against KYW.

Mendte leaked privileged e-mails about her criminal case to the press, and prosecutors say he is the only plausible source of damaging leaks concerning a swimsuit photo she sent a friend, married TV sports anchor Rich Eisen.

Mendte was fired in June, after the FBI searched his home and office.

“My role at the station was still being diminished when Alycia told me during an argument on the set that she (was) the rising star and that I was ’50 and on my way out,”‘ Mendte said after his Aug. 22 plea to a single-count information.

“I felt I was in trouble,” he continued. “My career, my future, my family’s future was in trouble. And, this is where I got into more trouble — federal trouble.”

Mendte has two young children with Stensland and two older children from an earlier marriage. He earned $700,000 at KYW-TV, while Lane’s salary had zoomed past his to $780,000, according to her lawyer, Paul Rosen.

The FBI began investigating Mendte in the spring, when a station employee stumbled upon a computer that was logged into Lane’s private e-mail account — nearly two months after she was fired.

Damn, and the world would have you believe that it is only black people who can’t be professional, when these white people, who make 700K+, are acting like that. He’s a dirty old man for hacking into her email like that and leaking it to the press, but on a side note: she could get it.

One more pic of Miss Lane below.

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It looks like a new fella will be tearing Amy’s flat backs up from now on:

AMY Winehouse says her marriage to Blake Fielder-Civil is kaput, according to Britain’s News of the World. The drug-addled singer says her husband left her for a blond German model, Sophie Schandorff. “It’s over,” the tabloid quoted Winehouse as saying. “There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for sex.” And, according to one of her pals, also quoted by the newspaper, it wasn’t ordinary sex. “Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit,” said the unnamed friend. “They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea, but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.”

Now, that is just disgusting. If she keeps her face looking this nasty, all we can do is shake our heads at the thought of what’s going on downtown. Yuck.

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Britney Spears has a new album coming out and is drumming up some press by releasing a video documentary on MTV:

In the special, Spears likens her life to the Bill Murray film “Groundhog Day,” in which every day is the same. “It’s like ‘Groundhog Day’ every day,” she says. “It’s really boring. Normal is really different for everybody. In my situation, I try to make it as normal as possible for me. It could be a lot worse.” “I used to be a cool chick,” she says. “But I feel like the paparazzi has taken that away from me — like, the way I used to live my life. I used to be a cool chick but I’m not anymore.” “I had let people into my life that were just bad people,” she said, adding later, “You’re so busy you don’t see what’s going on. You don’t have time to stop and think. … It’s important to have good people around you.”

She also talks a lot about the demise of her marriage to Kevin Federline. “When it ended I felt so alone,” she explains. “I didn’t really wanna think about the reality of it. I never faced it. I just ran. He started to do an album for himself and he started to do things for himself, and I just never saw him anymore.”

“My trust has really been battered,” she says. “Sometimes it can get kinda lonely. I had totally lost my way. I lost focus. I lost myself. I let certain people into my life that were just bad people … because I was lonely. I really paid the consequences for that. Big time.”

She didn’t know that suspect K-Fraud was rubbing his trailer park hands together thinking about her stacks and his own fame? That shady K-Fraud left her with 2 kids, crazy, and no career. SMH.

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Guy Ritchie would rather have the kids than Madonna’s millions:

Madonna and Guy Ritchie may have reached a divorce settlement, with the British director walking away with … zilch.

Ritchie has reportedly thumbed his nose at his estranged wife’s millions, opting to focus instead on obtaining joint custody of the couple’s two sons Rocco, 8, and David, 3.

Half the chicks can’t even pay their babies’ fathers to keep them, and this guy is volunteering for nothing. He must really love those little bad @ss boys.

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The ho that Spitzer was paying to chop down, Ashley Dupré, make an attempt at justifying her fu*cking for stacks:

She was the tabloid sensation at the center of the sex scandal that brought down New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer. But in her very first interview, Ashley Alexandra Dupré tells PEOPLE, “I’m a normal girl”, “Everyone knows me as ‘that girl,’ but I’m not just ‘that girl,” the 23-year-old former escort says in the new issue of PEOPLE, on sale Friday. “I have a lot of depth, a lot of layers.” Enduring a media spotlight that included seeing her MySpace photos splashed on front pages “has been really hard,” the New Jersey native explains. “But I’m a survivor.” “It was extremely painful for my mother,” Dupré says, though “my mother wasn’t angry. She was supportive.”

Newsflash, Ashley: normal girls do not have sex with strangers for money. They have sex with men that they already know for money, you silly rabbit. At any rate, we can’t hate you for parlaying this scandal the way you did, so go get your paper.

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Look at these white kids beating each others’ @sses while grown folks sit there watching and taping it. SMH in disgust.

Shout out to N.U.

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The gig is up for the dizzy broad who said racist comments about the first family:

TVNewser has learned veteran Faux News Channel anchor E.D. Hill will not be renewed when her current contract expires. Hill, who has been with Fox News for more than 10 years, will continue with the network for the next few months until her current deal expires. SVP of Programming Bill Shine tells TVNewser that he “chose not to renew E.D.’s latest contract” but noted that “Hill has been a valued contributor to the success of FNC over the years, and we wish her all the best.”

Good riddance pretty much sums things up from our perspective. Hopefully, she finds a job in a place where there is no diversity, so the genius of her racially innovative commentary can be fully appreciated. SMH

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Despite the abundance of smiles, Diddy isn’t happy about not being in the movie, Tropic Thunder:

The rapper admits he auditioned for the role of an African-American actor – famously played by Caucasian star Robert Downey Jr., who used make-up to change the colour of his skin for the role - in Ben Stiller’s movie, but was turned down. He joked: “I have not been in any of Ben Stiller’s movies. I guess I wasn’t black enough to be in Tropic Thunder. Robert Downey Jr. was a little bit blacker. I tried out for the role but I came up short. I put Ben in the video for my single Bad Boy for Life and I thought he would return the favour.” The music mogul was among a host of celebrity guests at a black tie dinner honouring actor-turned-director Ben at New York’s The Museum of the Moving Image on Wednesday night.

It’s hard to believe, but we are on Puff’s side this time around. We find it hard to believe that they could not find a real black man to play that role. We’re calling bullsh*t, but what do you all think about it?

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Crackhouse wasn’t hiding from the One-Time, she was just trying to get those rocks up off her boyfriend:

Amy Winehouse went on a wild rampage around Camden last night, screaming for her husband and banging on the door of her old flat some 100 meters from her current home. The troubled star appeared to be completely out of it and was worryingly emaciated again, with sores all over her face. The wild-eyed singer - still without her trademark beehive and minus her trademark sweep of black eyeliner – then made her way back to her flat clutching a liter bottle of vodka via a building site, signing autographs on the way.

Amy then handed a bottle of vodka to waiting snappers, before shouting through a window: “It’s hard going for a year without sex,” Her drug-addict husband Blake Fielder-Civil is due to rejoin his wife tomorrow, having gone straight to rehab from prison where he served time for GBH and perverting the course of justice.

We really feel sorry for this chick these days because this is just getting out of hand now. She literally looks like a zombie walking around with her face bleeding like that. SMH

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It looks like the two love birds are getting hitched:

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are about to get engaged in the romance capital of the world. The happy couple fly out from London tomorrow for a minibreak to Paris – where the lovers will choose their rings. And then they’ll head back to London, where Sam has been DJing, and announce their engagement to the world.

Not that we would wish ill will on anyone’s relationship, but wouldn’t it make for a fantastic scene if they got to the altar and Lindsay said, “Sike, I’m not even gay!”

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We know we should not put much stock in this dumb bird mumbling this out in her drug laced interview. After all, she’s only 21 and has a permanent room at a rehab facility. Do we really think she is a racist?

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Brad Pitt was at his very own premiere when his security rushed him and his tickler out of there quick, fast, and in a hurry:

In a bizarre incident at Monday night’s Los Angeles premiere of his movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Brad Pitt was grabbed, pushed and spun around by a plainclothes security guard who had been hired to protect him. Pitt arrived half an hour early for the screening at the Bruin Theater in Westwood, where paparazzi promptly descended upon him. But instead of shooing the photographers away, the security guard instead went after Pitt, spinning him around and pulling him backwards – all while clutching in his teeth what appeared to be a brochure for a karate studio. A shaken Pitt had words with the guard, broke free and waited out the ruckus in an upstairs bathroom area. No news yet on the security guard’s fate.

Whoah, it’s the paparazzi, not Al Qaeda, so Brad Pitt’s security could have eased up a bit. Ya’ll saw the way Brad played Achilles in Troy, so you already know a few punk @ss paps taking swipes at him ain’t nothing but a thang.

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