These broads are 69-years-old!!! And they’ve been at it for a combined 80 years!

A new documentary, “Meet the Fokkens,” follows Martine and Louise, two endearingly dowdy sister sex workers, as they go about their daily lives in Amsterdam — eating dessert and seducing men.

“I can’t tell you how many tricks we’ve had,” Louise says in a clip from the documentary. “Countless.”

Though Louise is now retired due to arthritis, Martine is still very much active in the red-light community.

“She needs the money,” Louise explains. “You can’t live off a state pension.”

In the clip, Louise is seen giving Martine a pep talk.

“You did the work, you’ve been a whore,” she says. “You’ll never get rid of that name. They’ll always call you names, so be one.”

According to The Frisky, the two women originally started out in the profession under the control of pimps, but worked their way out of the system to run their own brothel years later.

The pair even helped found the first independent prostitutes union in Amsterdam.

“This is the story we wanted to tell,” directors Gabrielle Provaas and Rob Schroder said in a statement. “Louise and Martine are real old-fashioned Amsterdam hookers: liberated, cheerful and not scared of anybody.”

The film is in Dutch, with English subtitles, and is set for a two-week run at New York City’s Film Forum beginning Aug. 8.

We understand the folks are a lil more open-minded in Amsterdam but isn’t 69 a tad old to be bending over and giving out blow jays? Or does being able to take your dentures out make it worth that much more gwap?

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This ish is crazy! Five years ago, this guy Steve went into the hospital with a kidney stone and it was discovered that he also had the internal sex organs of a woman. After being married for 25 years with six kids he kept his family intact, but started living as a woman named Stevie instead!

“I had a kidney stone and we’re in the emergency room,” Stevie told Fox affiliate KDVR. “The nurse is reading the ultrasound and says, ‘Huh, this says you’re a female.’”

Stevie was shocked, but not incredibly surprised.

“It validated everything I had always felt inside,” she said.

In retrospect, the diagnosis makes sense, she explains.

“I remember wearing my mom’s clothes and makeup, very secretly, not telling anybody,” Stevie told the station.

“When I was 17, I was working my first part-time job at a TV station as a floor cameraman and the person in charge said to me, ‘You know, you walk like a queer,’” she added.

“And I thought I was hiding who I was, and I wasn’t.”

So Steve decided to begin living as Stevie — as a woman.

Part of the process was explaining the decision to her children.

“How do you tell your kids that, well, it’s no longer dad, it’s dadette?” she said.

But all of them, and Stevie’s wife, were supportive.

“Within a few minutes, all of them said, ‘I don’t care dad; I love you for who you are.”

Five years later, Stevie lives happily as a woman. She takes hormones but has no plans to undergo gender reassignment surgery.

And she’s still married.

“I didn’t sign on for this, but who signs on for anything?” Debbie Crecelius, Stevie’s wife, told KDVR. “She’s the same person she was as a he on the inside.”

The couple still live together and share a bed.

“She relates to my heart and soul, and I still relate to hers,” Stevie said. “And I think that that’s the essence of true love.”

That ish cray!

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Usher is really tugging at our heartstrings these days y’all. First there was the crying on the stand, then Tuesday he posted this sad photo (with ex-wife Tameka Foster grinning in the background) along with the caption: “how can you get this much joy out of someone’s pain… smdh”

Cold world right? So what did Tameka have to say for herself.

A whole lot. The former Mrs. Raymond and mother to Usher’s two young sons took to Twitter to defend herself while sparing no critic. Particularly a certain blogger she felt Ush put in his pocket.

Hit the flip to read her tweets.

Chuck? Is that purse?!?! LMMFAO!!

Charles Barkley Shown In Women’s Clothes On TNT

Last night during TNT’s Inside The NBA the guys on set had a little fun at the expense of their Emmy-winning commentator Charles Barkley. After Charles made some hilariously disturbing comments about getting his eye-brows arched and being a “metrosexual”, the editing crew concocted this pic of the future Hall-Of-Famer walking in Miami in a satin jumper.

Sweet baby Jesus, somebody call June Ambrose! STAT!

Image via TNT

SMH>

A 12-year-old Texas boy who was suspended from school after shaving his head to resemble the face of Spurs forward Matt Bonner scored tickets to a playoff game and props from his favorite NBA player. Patrick Gonzalez was suspended for a day from Woodlake Hills Middle School because the school district deemed his $75 haircut a distraction. He returned to class Thursday after reluctantly shaving his head.

Gonzalez says Bonner is his favorite player, noting they’re both redheads. Bonner, whose mother is a teacher, says the school could have just moved Gonzalez to the back of the room. Bonner encouraged Gonzalez to “keep supporting us redheads in the NBA.”

Gonzalez’s story prompted the Spurs to give him and his family tickets to Thursday’s playoff game — against the Clippers.

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Kim Kardashian Tanned Picture

Looks like Kanye really is starting to rub off on Kimmy Cakes…

Patricia “Tanning Mom” Krentcil stole national attention with her leathery bronze look after first making headlines for allegedly bringing her 5-year-old daughter into a tanning bed. Now, news savvy Kardashian seems to be going after the same over-the-top glow, tweeting a photo of herself looking unrecognizably tan.

“The tannerexic mom has some serious competition!!! LOL,” Kardashian tweeted.

But don’t worry, the reality star quickly admitted that the super bronzed photo showed only a temporary tan.

We can’t help but side-eye this, we know Kim loves the brown baller schlong but this may be taking it too far. Oh well, you know what legendary comedian Paul Mooney says… “”Everybody wants to be a ninja, but don’t NObody want to be a ninja.”

Twitter/Instagram

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No child big enough to stand on his own (on a chair no less) should have his mother’s boob in his mouth. We don’t care how nurturing you want to be.

From TIME:

The subjects on this week’s TIME cover aren’t models in pose. Jamie Lynne Grumet, photographed by Martin Schoeller with her 3-year-old son, is a mother from Los Angeles who subscribes to attachment parenting, the subject of staff writer Kate Pickert’s cover story. Attachment parenting has been on the rise over the past two decades, since the publication of The Baby Book by Dr. Bill Sears and his wife Martha in 1992. Its three main tenets are extended breast-feeding, co-sleeping and “baby wearing,” in which infants are physically attached to their parents by slings.

In one day, Schoeller photographed four families from across the country who practice this method of motherhood. Using religious images of the Madonna and Child as reference, Schoeller captured each mother breast-feeding her child or children. “When you think of breast-feeding, you think of mothers holding their children, which was impossible with some of these older kids,” Schoeller says. “I liked the idea of having the kids standing up to underline the point that this was an uncommon situation.”

The four mothers photographed by Schoeller were all familiar with The Baby Book but said they had adopted the parenting philosophy for their own reasons. For Grumet, the decision was a natural extension of how she had been raised; she was the daughter of attached parents, and her older sister practices the method as well. “I grew up this way and never thought about raising my kids differently,” she says.

While pregnant, Dionna Ford, who lives in Kansas City, Mo., watched a video of a British woman breast-feeding her 7-year-old daughter. Ford thought she could never do the same — until she discovered how difficult it was to wean her son off breast milk. “After six months, I decided I’d wait until he turned 1,” she says. “But after my baby turned a year old, he was still a baby — not talking, barely walking — and I wondered why I’d stop now.”

Capturing various attached parents — and their reasons for attachment parenting — was Schoeller’s biggest goal for the sitting. “It was important to show that there’s no stereotypical look for a mom who practices this kind of parenting,” Schoeller says.

Uncommon isn’t the word we’d choose but whatever.

Apparently this isn’t weird to some people… On the flipside, do you think TIME is trying to make it less weird or just sell magazines? SMH. That lady on the cover says she was breastfed until she was SIX!!!

What would you do if you saw a mother breastfeeding her five-year-old out in public?

More photos of women who let their big azz kids suck on their boobies below:

Via Time

Rachel Bird Goes To Prom with Tim Tebow Cardboard Cutout

This girl can’t possibly be serious!

For all his merits, Tim Tebow is one stiff date. When Iowa high school student Rachel Bird invited him to her prom via Twitter, the single NFL star did not respond. Then she took matters into her own hands and fashioned a cardboard cutout Tebow instead.

“I didn’t want to go with just anybody just do have a date,” Bird told The Des Moines Register. So she and her father made a cardboard version of the quarterback whom Bird admired for his faith – and good looks.

Though he didn’t utter a word all night, cardboard Tebow (who wore Bird’s father’s cologne to mask the wood glue smell used to create the cutout) was a hit. Girls wanted to dance with him and boys took photos with him, the paper reports. Added Bird: “I think more people took their picture with Tim than they did with me.”

And she’s not done with him yet. Bird, who will attend Northwestern College in the fall, plans to take her inanimate prom date with her in the fall. Her father’s thoughts on that? “I think as long as he’s made of cardboard,” said Bob Bird, “it’ll be okay.”

Wow. Sounds like the real and alive Tim Tebow might need some sort of restraining order or something cuz this lil broad sounds a bit off her rocker.

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When you find them, slap them for this mess.

Woman Shows Off Pink Hairstyle With Eye Painted On The Back

We spotted this photo on Facebook… And while creativity may win points at the hair show, this is just an EPIC Fail. Please tell your aunty this ain’t it.

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Meet Jamie Calloway. Jamie was recently popped for stalking a female corrections officer who she was “crushing” on.

Via The Smoking Gun:

The 33-year-old Ohio woman was arrested last night and booked into the Montgomery County jail on a misdemeanor menacing by stalking count. According to a Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson, the alleged stalking victim is a female corrections officer whom Calloway “took a liking to” during a prior jail term. Calloway allegedly has slashed the woman’s tires, called her home, and sent her packages in the mail.

Calloway, who is being held in lieu of $10,000 bail, is scheduled to appear in court today at 11:15 AM. Her rap sheet dates back more than a decade and includes collars for obstruction, criminal damage, domestic violence, theft, trespass, aggravated menacing, and drug possession.

WTF??

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