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Cool story bro…SMFH

Michael Jackson’s Ex-Bodyguard Claims He Was Ordered To Shoot Randy Jackson

According to the uber-reliable (*rolls eyes*) folks at The Sun

His former Brit bodyguard told last night how the tragic superstar ordered the hit in a drug-fuelled paranoid rage.

Martial arts master Matt Fiddes said: “Michael was caught in a war with his brothers for years.

“They were desperate to sign him up to a $500million deal for a Jackson Five reunion tour.

“By 2005 Michael had surrounded himself with Nation of Islam bodyguards and became paranoid to the point that he would bar family from coming into his home.

“Things reached a head when Randy was trying to force his way past the bodyguards to speak to him in one of his rented homes. Michael ordered him to be shot.

Here is the shady-a$$ story that ol’ boy is trying to kick.

“He was out of mind on drugs and luckily Randy was OK.

“Michael shouted at the bodyguards that he wanted Randy shot, and Randy really feared he’d be killed.

“I don’t think Michael ever intended to kill him and told the guards to shoot him in the leg.

“But Randy was so scared he got on the phone and threatened to call the Press.

“He told the bodyguards, ‘If you shoot me the whole world will know about it’.

“He then backed off and got out.”

This Michael Jackson, not Michael Corleone, dirty son-of-a-beyotch…

Can you believe Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston were once lovers?

Former Bodyguard Claims Michael Jackson Never Recovered After Being Dumped By Whitney Houston

Drug-addled superstar Michael Jackson had a brief affair with doomed diva Whitney Houston that was so torrid he never got over it — and he always dreamed of marrying her, his bodyguard now says.

The songbirds came together for an “ultrasecret affair” in the bizarre but regal splendor of his Neverland ranch in California in 1991, according to martial arts master Matt Fiddes, who was Jackson’s protector and confidant for 11 years.

“Whitney practically moved into Michael’s ranch — and they had a fling like any other young couple,” according to the sensational account Fiddes provided to British tabloid The Sun.

“Michael said later he had always hoped the relationship had gone further — and I know he dreamed of marrying her.”

Fiddes says Jackson loved to cultivate his “sexless” image to add to his mystique — but actually, he insists, “He was a straight man!”

Straight, but sadly, impotent in the last decade of his life, because of his massive consumption of prescription drugs and booze, the bodyguard adds.

Fiddes, who worked for Jackson from 1998 until his tragic death in 2009, said the pop icon remained haunted for the rest of his life by his impassioned romance with Houston, who was 28 when she fell into his arms, five years his junior.

“They met because they were two of the biggest recording artists on the planet and mixing in the same circles,” he said. “And they instantly connected as kindred spirits because they understood each other’s massive fame.”

The affair lasted only two weeks, and to Jackson’s horror, she broke it off, and in 1992, married misbehaving R&B singer Bobby Brown.

Fiddes also regaled The Sun with troubling revelations that could transform the world’s view of Jackson if verified:

He was an anti-Semitic Nazi sympathizer. One of his many pill-prescribing doctors was an alleged neo-Nazi who sold Jackson on his poisonous bilge.

But Fiddes says Jackson dumped the doctor and was psychiatrically “reprogrammed” so he would no longer “think anti-Semitic thoughts.”

Jackson’s delusions had conquered his ability to reason. Even as his body was ravaged with needle marks and puncture holes from his prodigious drug intake, he would insist they were merely “spider bites.”

Fiddes also claims MJ was obsessed with his baldness. It shamed him so much that he devoted an entire room in Neverland to his collection of hundreds of wigs.

This bodyguard sounds even more delusional than MJ riiiiight?

Source Getty Images

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We’ve seen some pretty good MJ impersonators in our day but this broad takes the cake!

Ukrainian Photographer Looks EXACTLY Like Michael Jackson

In a strange twist of events, lady looks like a dude. Photographer Elena Romanenkova is stepping in front of the lens and using her uncanny resemblance to the King Of Pop to bring more attention to her career behind the camera. No word as whether or not she is actually making money being a Michael Jackson impersonator, but she has taken the time to learn some of MJ’s iconic dance moves.

Take a look at her photographs after the flip.

Nevermind that the house cost $24 milli, who the F wants to buy the house that MJ died in?!?!? SMH

According to TMZ reports:

The house where Michael Jackson died is up for sale … again … for a whopping $23.9 million.

The estate went on the market Monday and we’ve learned a “major celebrity” will look at it tomorrow.

We’re told the realtor — Mauricio Umansky, the CEO and co-founder of The Agency in Beverly Hills — will ONLY show the property to serious buyers who have pre-qualified … which means they have the dough to buy the property.

The 17,000 square foot house — which has been on and off the market since MJ died — is completely empty. It has 13 bathrooms, a pool, guest house and an elevator.

Flip the page to see pics of the house.

Karma is a beyotch with 1-ply tissue in her hand! Via TMZ reports:

TMZ has been told Conrad Murray has been extremely sick since becoming an inmate last November. He claims the water smells and tastes bad, and believes it has given him a horrible case of dysentery. Murray says the bad water, along with a bad diet, is ruining his health.

Murray says he can’t eat jail food, and is forced to eat what he calls “cat food” which he buys at the commissary .

Murray buys canned tuna for $4.25 a pop, salmon flakes for $3.50 and canned mackerel for $2.50. Murray is telling friends that aside from cats, he’s the only human being forced to eat canned mackerel.

We’re told Murray is filing multiple appeals to get out of jail, primarily because his health is compromised.

L.A. County Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore tells TMZ, “All inmates receive the proper nutrition and medical care that is required by law, but the Sheriff’s Dept. goes above and beyond what is required.”

We always knew Conrad Murray was full of isht!

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