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As if anyone’s really buying this crap, Nick Cannon is still painting a picture of perfect marital bliss:

Nick Cannon is still in the honeymoon phase with new wife Mariah Carey. “It’s amazing!” Cannon [said]. “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” he continued.

Up next for the lovebirds? Babies! “I always said… if I found the right person who I felt would be on the same page as me in term of raising kids and having the same belief system, [we'd have kids],” Carey said.

Reuben Cannon, his half-brother [said] Nick, “definitely wants kids,” and that he “loves [Mariah] more than any other girl.”

We guess this little comment is supposed to debunk all that shyte about their “marriage” being on the rocks. Whateva. These two are as transparent as they can be.

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Sources continue to testify that the suspect union between MiMi and Nick Cannon Carey is on the rocks:

With his wife wearing the pants in the relationship, Nick is rapidly gaining a reputation as the most whipped man in Hollywood, something that naturally doesn’t sit to well with him, a source [said].

“He’s basically around to attend to her diva-ish ways,” the source says. [When] Mariah was filming her new video for “I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time,” Nick, 27, diligently played the part of personal assistant. He dashed off to buy her gifts at Tiffany & Co. and Louis Vuitton, and when his 39-year-old bride hurt herself during the shoot, he was right by her side. “He helped Mariah out of the pool,” an eyewitness tells [says]. “She looked like she was going to cry.”

Meanwhile, Mariah is taking charge of another aspect of her hubby’s life: his career! “Nick had signed on to perform at a sweet-sixteen party before he and Mariah got married,” an insider tells [said]. “But now Mariah needs to oversee and approve his career moves. There’s no more silly Wild ’N Out, or small-time gigs. She wants him to do big venues and projects.”

It’s really simple: Nick is an opportunistic gigolo and Mimi is cuckoo for coco puffs. Anything goes at this point. SMH.

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More news from MiMi-Land for you this morning:

“Mariah Carey’s marriage won’t last more than six months, according to friends. The 38-year-old singer, who wed rapper Nick Cannon in April, is so demanding her new husband won’t be able to cope with her diva-like behavior.

One pal close to Mariah revealed 27-year-old Nick has become a source of ridicule for her friends and associates. The source told Life and Style Weekly magazine: “I give the marriage six months, tops. I can’t see it lasting.

Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to – he’s like her puppy. It seems like he spends more time in the stores with Mariah’s credit card than he does with Mariah herself. Mariah’s assistants and friends call him ‘Whipped Nick’ behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won’t stand up for himself.

However, a friend of Nick’s has vehemently denied the relationship is already in trouble, insisting Nick and Mariah are perfect for each other. The pal said: ‘Mariah needs someone to dote on her.’”

Honestly, we’d expect nothing less from this counterfeit couple. It’s a wonder they’ve even lasted this long. SMH.

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Model Selita Ebanks was allegedly spotted out on the town with Kanye West last night:

“Selita Ebanks isn’t crying over ex-fiancé Nick Cannon, who just married Mariah Carey. The Victoria’s Secret hottie partied with Kanye West, who recently split with his fiancée, at Tenjune Saturday night. They were spotted trying to sneak out together late that night after dining upstairs. They looked ‘cozy’ when they left, according to a spywitness outside. ‘They were trying to be inconspicuous, but they were smiling and walking real close, and they hopped in a waiting car together laughing and took off.’”

Whatever happened to her poo-poo casanova Osi Umenyiora?? Did they call it quits or is Lil Miss Bobblehead getting her creep on?

Images via WENN

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Here are the other newlyweds, the “Cannon-Carey’s” arriving in Tokyo together. Look at them, with the cheesy grins and coordinating gear. We’re happy for them if there happy, but damn, whatever happened to trying to stay low-key? They should try that sometime.

Photos: Wireimage

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As we mentioned earlier, Nick is at Mariah’s beck and call. Camp Mimi issued this little story recently:

“When Nick Cannon was dragged away by wife Mariah Carey from Foxwoods, where he was hanging with Sean Combs and Quincy Jones, it wasn’t to join her in bed. Carey wanted her new hubby to keep her company at a photo shoot for Elle magazine, according to insiders. ‘Nick came running to her side very early Sunday morning and stayed with her until 5:30 a.m. when they wrapped,’ said the source. ‘They were super affectionate.’”

So she pulls Nick away from a party so he can sit around and watch her in a photo shoot? Kudos to Mimi for keeping her man in check! SMH.

Image via WENN

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Sounds like Mimi’s calling the shots in this ‘relationship’:

“Mariah Carey’s new husband was trying to have a boys’ weekend at Saturday’s opening of the MGM Grand at Foxwoods with pals Sean Combs and Quincy Jones when he got a call from Carey. ‘He was summoned home by her at 1 in the morning,’ a source said. ‘He didn’t look happy about it.’”

Word is that the two are planning on having a 4 million dollar vow renewal ceremony in NYC sometime this summer. We’re curious to see if they even make it that far.

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She must have a movie or something coming out, because all of a sudden Meagan Good is popping up two days in a row. Here she is in the June issue of Vanity Fair “Vanities Girls” Edition.

She was also caught by the paps outside of American Apparel in Beverly Hills yesterday:

Some more people you are probably sick of looking at coming up next… Continue »

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Here’s ‘Mr. Carey’ right on schedule for yet another publicity opportunity. I guess we’re to believe the devoted husband is out buying his new wife some Hello Kitty sh*t. How transparent sweet.

And guess where they decided to celebrate their recent nuptials?:

“Newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon made up for their intimate wedding with a celebration at Six Flags Magic Mountain Theme Park Tuesday evening. The park was decorated with pink and purple balloons and a banner which read: ‘Mariah and Nick – A Love Story.’”

We’re beginning to wonder about ole Mimi’s sanity once again. SMH.

Images via WENN

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Here are the love birds leaving some restaurant. There might be little nerdy Nicks in the near future:

Nick Cannon “definitely wants kids” with new wife Mariah Carey, says his half-brother Reuben Cannon. “I am not sure exactly if now is the time. Both of their careers are crazy right now.” Reuben, a musician working on his first solo album, said his half-brother and Carey have a “real and honest love” for each other. “That is what is going to keep them together. He loves her more than any other girl.”

He loves her more than Christina Milian, Kim Kardashian, Selita Ebanks, that Miss USA chick, and Nicole Scherzinger. She’s also got way more stackage than those other broads too. Coincidence?

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More pics coming up next… Continue »

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Well, well, well. Looks like they took it up a notch from where JayBey left off. “Newlyweds” Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon shared their wedding photos with People Magazine. Those pics look pretty suspect, but this situation seems so forced anyway – the mark of a true Hollywarped couple. We’re sure they’re hoping that their well-thought out divorce will attract the same level of hoopla. SMH.

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Check out one of Nick’s many ex-girlfriends looking adorable under the hood… Continue »

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Here is Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls arriving at a party at Club Villa in Hollyweird this weekend. Nicole is looking quite good, but a highly placed source tells us that she has an eating disorder and regurgitates to maintain her weight. She requires her own dressing room and uses candles and air freshener to hide the smell of the vomit. Those eating disorders are probably the norm for that Hollyweird steez, but she def needs some help to squash that. Poor thang.

Nicole has been linked to some actor from The OC, Will.i.am, and most recently Nick Cannon right before he started dating Mariah Carey.

Images via Splash

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The newest top-secret 007 style nuptials between Mimi & Nick were confirmed by a man of the cloth:

“Mariah Carey did in fact get married to Nick Cannon, so says a clergyman for something called the National Church of God in the Caribbean – which definitely makes this nuptial seem all the more legit.

Bishop Clifford Petty tells People that he presided over the wedding of Mimi and Nick and specified that he didn’t give a sermon.”

Okay, this circus sideshow act is getting a little old. To have a secret wedding on the heels of JayBey’s hush hush event is pretty pathetic. Would it have killed them to add a little originality to the mix? SMH.

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Image via WENN

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According to OK Magazine, the wedding has been somewhat confirmed:

Nick Cannon’s family has confirmed that the 27-year-old actor has wed singer Mariah Carey, 39. Family member Linda Cannon told E! that Nick called her with the good news. ‘Yes, we know. He called us and told us all about it,’ she said. ‘We are happy for him. If that is what he wants, then we are happy for him.’

She added, ‘I’m not going to give you any details, but we are happy for him.’

OK, Whatevah. Here we go again – more game playing from the Hollywarped set. Click here to read up on the history of this highly suspect saga.

Update: People magazine stated that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s obtained a marriage license recently on the Caribbean island of Eleuthera. Will the madness ever quit?

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Some media outlets are reporting that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are now man and wife:

The two got hitched in a small ceremony on an island Wednesday, according to the magazine. They quote a source as saying it was “very implusive.” Rapper Da Brat attended as well. Cannon’s ex-fiancée, model Selita Ebanks, says, “I have no comment but wish them well.”

Longtime pals, Carey, 38, and the 27-year-old rapper-actor connected when he directed the video for her latest single, “Bye Bye,” in late March.

We smell a publicity stunt, but what do you think of all this ridiculousness?

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Speaking of marriage, view pics of Mel B and her K-Fraud under the hood… Continue »