This can’t be real life…

A woman is in the hospital after witnesses say she was assaulted at a Chuck E. Cheese’s restaurant in Dearborn over the weekend.

Family members tell FOX 2 the woman was celebrating her grandson’s seventh birthday Sunday afternoon when she asked patrons at a nearby table to clean up their language. “She said, ‘please don’t use that language with children,’” said the victim’s daughter. “They told her to ‘shut the f— up and turn around.’”

That’s when the daughter says a man jumped over tables and started swinging at people. “He punched her in the face and dragged her by her hair,” she added.

The 50-year-old victim was taken to nearby Oakwood Hospital where family members say she underwent a CAT scan and was treated for lacerations to her face and mouth.

FOX 2 has learned the family was refunded their money by restaurant management.

The incident is the third time in recent months FOX 2 has reported violent encounters at different Chuck E. Cheese’s in the metro Detroit area.

Dammit, Detroit!

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Seriously man?? Over a basketball.

A 15-year-old boy was stabbed in the head yesterday by a scissors-wielding classmate after the pair got into a fight over a basketball at Brooklyn’s famed former Erasmus HS, authorities said.

The victim, Alfredo Allen — who attends the HS for Youth and Community Development at what is now the Erasmus Hall Campus on Flatbush Avenue — was clinging to life, sources said.

“When he fell, I saw the blood all over the floor. I thought he was dead,” said a shaken witness, Kimberly Davis, 15.

Allen’s alleged attacker, Chevoy Nelson — a 16-year-old student at the HS for Service & Learning, which is also housed on the site — plunged the scissors into his skull and neck between four and seven times at around 12:30 p.m. as shocked witnesses watched in horror, authorities said.

Nelson was arrested, and charges were pending.

The teens had been shooting hoops during lunchtime in a gym shared by the separate high schools when the fight broke out, students said.

Nelson allegedly shoved Allen as the pair fought over a basketball, and Allen retaliated by punching him in the face, witnesses said.

Nelson ran off the court and into a classroom, where he asked a teacher for acid, a police source said. The teacher scoffed, but as she turned around, Nelson grabbed a pair of scissors and ran back into the gym, a source said.

What the hell are y’all teaching these kids nowadays? How does it even come to this??? We hope Alfredo makes it out of this… More pics of him below.

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We know they were dead wrong for doing this, but this is pure comedy.

This is what happens when drug dealers live their lives by the code of “Carlito’s Way” and “Thug Motivation”

via AllHipHop.com:

Over $7.2 million in drugs and 161 weapons were confiscated after a year long investigation by the Washington D.C. Police and the Bureau the Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, which operated as fictional rap label.

According to Washington D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier, D.C. police and ATF agents acted as undercover officers and “music industry insiders” during the year-long sting.

The police created the “Manic Enterprisess” studio in Northeast Washington, for fictional rap artist Richie Valdez in November of 2010.
Agents then told the underground world and black market that they were seeking to purchase weapons and drugs.

Over the course of the year, agents confiscated 161 firearms (including a rocket launcher), 29 assault weapons, 80 pounds of methamphetamine, 21 pounds of cocaine, 1.25 gallons of PCP, 24 pounds of marijuana, heroin and Ecstasy.

“If these drugs and guns had made it to our streets, the impact would have been devastating to community,” Police Chief Lanier told AllHipHop.com in a press release on Monday.

“This was an extremely dangerous operation. These suspects had bragged about other violent crimes they had committed and had no qualms about killing police officers, guards and other innocent people,” Chief Lanier continued. “All the law enforcement members involved in this operation are to be commended for their bravery.”

In addition to the seizures of drugs and weapons, police said many of the 70 suspects detained bragged about other crimes and reportedly stated they would kill police officers or other innocent people if necessary.

Undercover officers arrested one group of assailants in a preemptive attempt to stymie a robbery of the studio.

The depth of the investigation went one step further, when officers ventured to Atlanta with suspects claiming to be associated with the Mexican Drug Cartel “La Familia”.

The Mexican cartel members unknowingly introduced agents to the source that was supplying guns from Georgia.

“These investigations have proven very effective in targeting criminals and keeping drugs and guns off our community’s streets,” said US Attorney Ronald C. Machen Jr. “The US Attorney’s Office is committed to working with our law enforcement partners and the citizens of the District of Columbia to bringing those who traffic in narcotics and firearms to justice.”

You effin dummies!!! Who does this much illegal business with a muhfuggah they don’t know???

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J-Hud may have to relive the awful memory of her mother and brother’s violent death on the stand, under oath…

The ordeal surrounding her family’s horrific murder is far from over for Jennifer Hudson as she may now be called to testify as a witness in court, Star magazine is exclusively reporting.

According to court documents obtained by Star, the 30-year-old Oscar winner could be called to testify against William Balfour, who currently sits behind bars for the horrific October 2008 slayings of Jennifer’s 57-year-old mother, Darnell Donerson, and 29-year-old brother, Jason, in their family home in Chicago. The body of her seven-year-old nephew was found nearby three days later.

Balfour, Hudson’s brother-in-law, pleaded not guilty to charges of first-degree murder and home invasion and now his defense attorneys hope that shocking new evidence related to fingerprint tests will prove his innocence.

The trial is set for February and Balfour’s public defender, Amy Thompson, revealed: “There have (also) been reports of new witnesses,” but she could not divulge details.

We hope that if J-Hud is called to testify that her account of the events help get her and her remaining family some justice.

via RadarOnline

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Talk about a clusterfawk…

An abusive hubby with murder on the mind took the old cliché ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,’ to a violent level – and now he’s paying for it.

Richard Boyd tied to persuade his handyman to kill his wife – and then asked another man to kill the pair of them when the handyman refused.

Elizabeth Aaron, of Rockville, Maryland, said her husband Boyd’s history of abuse began shortly after their wedding in 2001.

The brutality continued for several years, often leaving Miss Aaron bruised and battered.

Beating his wife is bad enough but what Boyd cooked up next was downright evil…

While they were separated, Boyd formulated a plan to make his wife pay.

He called up his handyman, whom he also sold drugs to, and asked him to kill his wife – or find someone who could – for $10,000 and some Oxycontin pills.

Instead of carrying out the plot, however, the handyman went to the police, and helped set up a sting operation that led to Boyd’s arrest.

Boyd was arrested and charged with one count of solicitation of murder and one count of distribution of a controlled substance.

While questioned, Boyd swore up and down that he had nothing to do with a murder-for-hire plot targeting his wife.

But as he awaited his day in court, he arranged another hit on Miss Aaron, this time asking a fellow inmate to kill her – AND the double-crossing handyman.

Under normal circumstances, Boyd would have spent four to nine years in jail, but after he planned a second heinous plot, the judge decided to throw the book at him.

Boyd was slapped with a life sentence with a minimum of 20 years in jail.

What an a$$hole this guy is…SMH

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Either he has the worst luck in the world, or he’s REALLY bad at robbing people, or maybe both!!

An alleged robber in Chicago picked the wrong man to mess with.

Anthony Miranda, 24, attempted a robbery and carjacking, police said, but his would-be prey was a 33-year-old mixed martial artist who competes in the Ultimate Fighting Championships. The tables were turned rather quickly, reports the Chicago Tribune.

According to police, the near-victim said Miranda approached his car on near Kenneth Ave. and 55th St. and asked for a light. The man, who did not want to be identified, said he didn’t have a light when Miranda pulled a gun, demanded valuables and told the driver to get out of the car, police said.

What happened next is probably what you would expect when someone tries to rob an MMA fighter: a struggle ensued.

Miranda was left with bad bruises all over his face and a bullet in his ankle after the gun discharged during the presumably one-sided fight, according to the report.

The UFC fighter was able to hold Miranda on the ground until police arrived.

Day-um, you picked the WRONG one homie! Sheesh…

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There’s a shocker…SMH

We reported yesterday that Lil Boosie pled guilty to smuggling drugs in prison, but now he is taking it a step further…

According to TMZ reports:

Lil Boosie tells TMZ … he’s finally realized he’s a hardcore drug addict … and now that he’s been sentenced to prison, he wants to focus on kicking the habit.

As we previously reported, the Louisiana rapper was sentenced to 8 years in prison Tuesday after copping a guilty plea for attempting to smuggle drugs into prison — 3 separate times.

Now, Boosie’s lawyer tells us … the rapper is happy with the resolution — because Boosie is confident officials will allow him to participate in a drug rehab program so he can beat his addiction to codeine and other drugs.

Boosie — who’s also facing 1st degree murder charges in an unrelated case — released a statement to TMZ … saying, “Don’t worry about me I am getting help with my drug addiction and I am accepting full responsibility for the choice I made.”

Boosie adds, “I am going to fight the false murder charge till the end. Love you all.”

Well, the good news is that Boosie will have plenty of time to get sober before “your honor” throws the book at him for the murder charge…

Have you ever seen a dumber pair of siblings?? SMH!

A brother and sister teamed up to rob at least one bank in Prince George’s County, police said, and they didn’t go far to do it.

Kadija Taylor, 20, and her 19-year-old brother, Shakir Taylor, are suspected in connection with a robbery at an M&T bank in the 3700 block of Donnell Drive, in Forestville, Md.

Surveillance video showed the siblings walk in to the bank before noon Nov. 8. They passed a note to a teller and received a stack of cash in return. Police called it a very substantial amount of money.

The Taylors got away without the aid of a getaway car. They didn’t need one. According to police, the siblings live on the same block and simply walked away.

Kadija Taylor was arrested later the day of the robbery, but her brother remains free and is wanted on a robbery warrant.

Police are investigating whether the Taylors executed any other bank jobs in the area.

Two fools and their stolen money are soon parted…and arrested!!

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He bought this one, hope he kept his receipt…

Ndamukong Suh(notes), the Detroit Lions defensive leader who was ejected from the team’s Thanksgiving game for stomping on the shoulder of a defenseless opponent, was suspended for two games without pay by the NFL on Tuesday.

Should he begin serving the suspension immediately, Suh would miss a road game against the New Orleans Saints and a home game versus the Minnesota Vikings. Jay Glazer reports Suh will not have to attend anger management courses as part of the suspension. He is expected to be fined an additional $50,000 by the Lions for being ejected from a game.

As Yahoo! Sports’ Dan Wetzel notes, Suh’s absence shouldn’t have too much effect on the team’s playoff chances should he choose to begin serving the suspension this week. The first game against the Saints was already penciled in as a loss, with or without Suh. The Vikings game should be an easy win even if Suh isn’t on the field. It’s the Dec. 18 game in Oakland, the Christmas Eve game against the Chargers and the Week 17 game against a Packers team that may be playing for an undefeated season or could be resting starters for the playoffs that will decide Detroit’s playoff chances. That’s when the team needs him on the field.

The two-game suspension fits in line with expectations and is the proper ban for Suh’s dirty maneuvers. Pushing the helmet and stepping on the arm of Evan Dietrich-Smith(notes) wasn’t as egregious as Albert Haynesworth(notes) stepping on the head of Andre Gurode(notes), a move which earned Haynesworth a five-game suspension in 2006. But given Suh’s past fines ($42,500 in his young career) and lawless on-field attitude, it sends the proper message.

Much was made of Suh’s comments after the game in which he claimed he was misunderstood, his subsequent retreat from that stance and the call he made three days after the incident to Roger Goodell. I doubt they played as much a role in the suspension as some believe. This isn’t the NBA, where contrition can lead to leniency and defiance to long suspensions (right, Gilbert Arenas?). Goodell sanctions players, coaches and owners for the deeds they do, not what they say about them. Suh deserved his two games and should be thankful its all he got.

Do you think that this suspension fair or to harsh??

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Although a ninja is quick to scream “Eff The Police!!”, even the hardest of thugs will sit and watch a good Cop show.

There is something about the drama of Police work that will always capture our attention. Let’s just keep it all the way funky, there is something thoroughly entertaining about watching a high-speed chase, a drunknen motorist doing a field sobriety test, or a shoplifter explain how she got a whole aisle of candy inside her draws. In some cases, the events that transpire aren’t nearly as funny as they are intense. Whether its’ the moment that a detective discovers a rotting dead body, or a murder suspect crying as he contemplates snitching on his friend, this is the stuff that that TV gold is made of.

In honor of our favorite programming dedicated to the boys (and girls) in blue, we bring you this gallery of the cream of the crop cop shows.

Flip the script to see if your favorite made it…