Florida Crazies: Slizzard Man Drives Tractor With Schlong Slinging In The Wind

- By Bossip Staff

“His genitals were exposed and he’d urinated on his clothes…” SMH

Drunk Man Drives Tractor

A Florida man (of course) was recently arrested after police say he was dancing while driving a tractor down the street with penis exposed.

Alrighty…

TCPalm reports:

What’s wrong with dancing on a tractor?

Nothing, but problems may arise if you do so while simultaneously driving the tractor on a public street as you are way over the legal limit for booze with your genitals exposed.

That’s pretty much what Elias Velez-Morales, 24, stands accused of during a July 24 incident that happened about 1:40 a.m. in Vero Beach, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

An Indian River County Sheriff’s investigator went to the 1100 block of 58 Avenue where another investigator said Velez-Morales was driving an International 354 tractor south. Velez-Morales was “dancing” in the seat, and had difficulty driving the farm implement.

Velez-Morales said he’d had three beers, and “appeared to be so intoxicated he was unable to give (his) name and address,” the affidavit states.

His genitals were exposed and he’d urinated on his clothes and himself.

The affidavit did not indicate whether Velez-Morales was performing a specific style of dance, such as ballroom or tap.

Velez-Morales said he’s never had a license.

Slizzard people do the craziest things…

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