No Flex Zone: Burglars Complain That $1 Mill In Stolen Goods Are Fake

Thieves get upset over ticking Rollies and fugazi Fendi bags…

Thieves Expose Fake Luxury Items After Refusal Of Ransom

Recall the Texas beauty queen who showed off her closet full of luxury bags and high-end jewelry on Good Morning America — and was promptly robbed shortly thereafter? As it turns out, those Birkins, Loubs, and Tiffany baubles she was so eager to show off on national television aren’t even real. Via DailyMail:

The dramatic heist of nearly $1million in designer bags, jewelry and furs from the 3,000-square-foot closet of a suburban Houston socialite has taken a strange media twist possibly involving a failed ransom plot.

A person claiming to be the housebreaker sent several of the stolen items to a weekly newspaper, claiming that they were fake and therefore worthless.

The valuables were stolen August 2 from a closet in the palatial home of Theresa Roemer, who uses the room dubbed in the media the ‘she-cave’ for charity fundraisers.

The alleged burglar also spoke to a reporter with the Houston Press through a voice modulator, making it difficult to tell whether the person is a man or a woman.

Craig Malisow, the Houston Press reporter, said he first talked to the suspect Tuesday and later received a large brown envelope covered with stamps filled with about 10 to 15 items of jewelry and a man’s watch.

‘It was kind of odd,’ Malisow said, of his conversations with the purported burglar. ‘It sounded like he felt like he was wronged – because when he went to go fence this stuff, he was allegedly told this was fake … it kind of felt like he was the victim here.’

According to the Houston Press, the burglar had requested more than $500,000 from Roemer to return the stolen items and not tell reporters that they were allegedly cheap knockoffs.

The glamorous socialite disputed the burglar’s claim that her possessions were fake, but conceded that not all the items in her collection ‘is a million-dollar design.’

‘It’s like any person’s closet. You mix and match. In my closet, I have a Donna Karan dress next to one from the Gap,’ Roemer told the Chronicle.

Mix and match fake imitation bags with replica watches? WELP. This woman wanted everyone in her business and she got it. Now we know that all that glitters is not a gold Rolex. It’s her own fault!