Debate of the Day: Is Marriage Obsolete?

- By Bossip Staff

Posted by Bossip Staff

We checked out your comments yesterday in the Nas and Kelis divorce post, and we want to pose this question to you. In this seemingly “loveless” society fueled by baby-daddy drama, cheating and couples that just can’t seem to get it right, Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete?

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  • Angee

    Marriage is not obsolete! People just need to remember that marriage is hard work, and takes a lot of sacrifice.

  • http://bossip dep4evr

    in a society were everything is diposable,and quick and little or no morales or values is it any wonder…

  • TheyHadSaid

    i don’t think marriage is obsolete. i thinks it’s men’s difficulty being monogamous is the problem. and now women aren’t just sitting by to take it up the a** anymore. people have to understand that marriage is about unselfishness. in marriage it works like this. i wholely focus on meeting your needs, you wholely focus on mine and everybody’s needs are met… and it really works if both people give 100, not 50/50.

  • http://bossip dep4evr


  • Negrita Tan Rica

    Sadly…it appears marriage is obsolete because people are becoming so selfish and less willing to put in the work to make it last. They figure they will just go find somebody better and that’s the wrong state of mind. Divorce changes you forever…even when it’s mutual. Everybody that I know was married is divorced now and it makes me sad. What’s left to look forward to?

  • http://bossip aceyducey

    I hope she continue to have Nas wash the baby face..

  • Hannibal


  • ladydeedee

    @ hannibal
    I AGREE!

  • Amber

    I don’t know y’all. I just don’t understand why ppl won’t get married or stay married. Marriage is hard work. People are too lazy to put in the work, they rather take the easy route and get divorced.

    Another thing I don’t understand the mentality of these young black folks. I’m so sick of this baby mama/baby daddy crap. Recently I took a trip to CA one thing that is the unbalanced number of black couples vs white couples that are married. I sat next to two interracial couples and two black couples they both had children but no one was married??? Then on my way home there were three white couples on their way to Vegas everyone was married. I see so many white women/men with wedding rings wearing them proudly. Now don’t get me wrong I love black men I know for a fact there are a lot of good ones out there that do want to settle down get married and have a family. But the majority don’t. What is up with that??

  • relle

    marriage isnt obsolete people are just phony these days and they act like they dont understand that forever means forever people making promises they cant keep stop fronting everybody wanna talk about keeping it real and they cant even keep it real with they spouse and tell them they not ready for marriage instead they rush in and it falls apart

  • Jade Silver

    @ Amber… I co-sign. A lot of black men don’t marry the women they have children with. I wonder why that is. Maybe we as black women should not give men babies until there’s a ring and signed contract in hand. The fact that single parenting is accepted is because those children are grown up and think growing up with one parent is normal/ok.

  • aight

    Unfair/unrealistic expectations IMO is the problem.
    Everybodies relationship is different, so dont try and compare what you have to what (you think) your neighbor has.

  • kawaiihoney

    My parents have been married almost 40 years. Marriage IS NOT obsolete. Unfortunately, so many young people have been raised in broken homes that they don’t even know what it takes to have a successful marriage. Gotta give up your sideline chicks, and women need to be able to trust their man completely. Not to mention the work it takes to maintain the bond you start with on your wedding day.

  • Toucheaway

    I don’t think marriage is obsolete; I think that people are selfish and unwilling to bend and make adjustments in married life to keep the marriage going, this thing the two people involved have created.

    When it’s based on money, looks, social standing, etc.,instead of growing together as people and living in this world with these psychoes and making something that’s real that will last and that is good, you’ve got a recipe for hell.

    Life has ups and downs; it’s life, that what it’s supposed to do. When you walk around acting like you’re not supposed to have problems and you actually have to work to solve them and don’t want to, you’re just asking for it.

    I hate that Kelis and Nas couldn’t make it, I just hate it. We have to learn to stay together, people.

  • alex

    Marriage is not obsolete but the way society is going it may be forced into some other definition. Basically the social standards we have today is so far removed from what human civilization has maintained for thousands of years that it should come as no surprise that an ancient institution such as marriage would suffer. Examples of social changes are things like the rise and acceptance of feminism, the Oprah Winfrey generation who either don’t want a man or have a laundry list of “qualifications” that a man must meet in order to even initiate a relationship.

    Another example is the rise of the career woman such as Condoleeza Rice, who is absolutely committed to her career as if it were a husband and children. And then there is the rise and growing acceptance of alternative standards, such as homosexual marriage.

    This truth may bother or even offend some people, but it is a truth nonetheless. Society has changed things that were never accepted such as the absence of a father in household, the rise of female empowerment even to the detriment of men and the growing acceptance of alternative relationships means that marriage, the bonding of man and woman will suffer in the future.

  • evondra

    @theyhadsaid….good post, i agree

  • Natasy

    Marriage ain’t obsolete…Maybe it’s just the big cities and people in the limelight. Almost all my friend are married or engaged. I think it’s about the quality of the person you are getting married to. If you aren’t willing to put in the work it requires then you shouldn’t be married. It is more than being monogamous, it’s a business endeavor. A contractual bond you make with another person to committ to them for life. If you ain’t serious then don’t do it. People are getting married behind infatuation these days, no real substance.

  • soulwoman

    Yeah, Markh320, it’s always the woman that is the problem. When you have a negative attitude towards marriage, as the above poster, you’re going to look at it as being obsolete.

    It’s not just celebrity marriages that fail, marriages fall apart every day.

    I agree with the person that said stop comparing your relationship to others. Do you!

    Bottom line – it can work if you and your partner want it to work. Period.

  • Snkrfetish

    I think statistically it is becoming obsolete. Becuase so many people choose to marry for the wrong reasons. Often marriage is a source of financial security, grief from procreating with someone you have absolutely nothing in common with other than soaking the sheets, cover up for having an alternative lifestyle, or a reason to show off to your friends that you too could SETTLE down.
    The values and the hardwork our ancestors invested into there realtionships allowed for the progress we now see in society. But for some reason we have left the grassroots process and only yearn for the instant gratification that manyy of these hurried relationships offer.
    Is marriage obsolete…I’m unsure…I think it has a chance if people don’t allow themselves to succumb to vices in society that don’t follow or help build up the institution of marriage.
    Marriage is a lifestyle change and many are unaware of the sacrafice and commitment needed for it to succeed. Communication, Trust, and Intimacy. Three simple things that hold a lot of weight.

  • soulwoman

    RE: Nas and Kelis marriage:

    Right Sidney. Reading different interviews with Nas and Kelis over the years, it always seemed more lust and rebound, than love. And you think of what was going on in Nas’ life at the time with his mother’s death and his beef with Jay, he seem wanted to get his mind away and being with Kelis was the answer. Kelis is an attention seeker and loved the attention she got being with Nas. They always spoke about how different they were. Nas was very laid back and, to me, felt like he had to keep up with Kelis because that was. She was the one that was always dragging him in front of the cameras.

  • Hannibal




  • Vitamin D

    Definitely. Monogamy is unnatural.

  • soulwoman

    SMH @ Vitamin D. and Hannibal

  • AsiaA

    People who get married and “think” they are in love will end up getting a divorce. Simple.

    Really get to know and bond with the person before you even think about marriage.

    and stop having kids with men who haven’t/won’t make a commitment such as marriage to you.

    There are things called birth control and condoms. USE THEM. If you’re not ready to be a life partner and/or a parent, then take the proper measures.

  • zappy

    An old lady I was friends with for years (she has since passed on) and was married for 30 years to one husband (he died) and then 40 years to another person (he also passed on before her) said “girl child, marraige is like an old car, they can last long and be in good, even great condition, but it takes a lot of hard work and dedication.”

    I have always remember that, always.

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