Dear Bossip: The Married Man I Was Sleeping With Left Me For Another Woman

Dear Bossip,

I am a 28 year old female who was in a relationship with a married man for 3 years while he was married.

I knew that it was wrong, but I didn’t care about that. I did everything he wanted and even went out of town to his hometown several times. He never introduced me to any of his family because he stated that it was too soon. I still didn’t care as long as we were together.

He told me that he didn’t love his wife and was only with her for the children. He was divorcing her anyway after he caught her cheating with another guy. He then started dating this girl from our job who worked there part-time because she was a graduate student. He was always around her and they would hang out.

My friend, who was a friend of his, as well as his brother-in-law, told me that he said he really was falling in love with the other girl and was considering being committed to her. So, after hearing that I confronted the girl, but at the time she stated they were only friends and she can hang out with whomever she wanted. She also told me I was out of line to confront her and she is a woman and not a child, so don’t play childish games with her.

I still continued to deal with him, sleeping with him and everything, but my friend and his brother- in-law told me that he told this girl he loved her and wanted to move forward with her so she had keys to his apartment and everything. He then started not taking my calls, spending all his time with her, and even introduced her to his daughters. I would see her and his daughters buying groceries or household items together all the time.

So, I was very mad and began to start trying to make her jealous by being around him or by texting him when I knew they were together, but she didn’t care at all. All she did was laugh at me. Finally, they moved in together for a year and I was pissed. So, I started texting him again after 3 months telling him I would be with him whenever he wanted to get him back.

The girl found out and they eventually broke up. After the break up I asked him to move in with me and he did. We were happy for 2 months, but he would always text her or call

her in front of me. I overheard him talking to her one night after I came home late. He told her that he wanted to work on their relationship and he realized that he truly love her.

How could that be? He moved out and I find out they were back together. I started texting her phone and calling her, but she just kept telling me she don’t play childish games. What kind of statement is that? I found out I was pregnant by him, but he really didn’t care. He still stayed with her.

Now, I have been told they are getting married in April 2015. I am so upset, but Karma is a B%&ch. So, I will find out and mess that up.

How can he fall in love and marry someone else when I was with him all those years and she was only with him 1 year and she has the ring? I don’t understand that. He won’t even talk to me. I even texted her all the stuff he said about her to me when we would be together, but she didn’t care. She just kept saying she don’t play childish games. I am so in LOVE with him and I WANT him back by all means. Even if it means that I will have to fly to the state they moved to last year. I WANT HIM. I WANT HIM TO BE THE FAMILY MAN WITH ME AND MY DAUGHTER. How can someone feel this bad? – In Love & Mad

Dear Ms. In Love & Mad,

So, let me get this straight – The married man you were sleeping with left you for another woman? The man you were laying up with for three years while he was married dipped out on you with one of your fellow co-workers, and you’re mad? He left you for a co-worker who worked part-time, and she is a graduate student, and you’re mad and confronting her because of what reason? The same man who was cheating on his wife with you, and you learn he was cheating on you with another woman. Bwahahahahahahaha! And, then you had to nerve to write that Karma is a bish because he is getting married to his new woman. Uhm, isn’t Karma biting your a** right about now?!? There are some low flying birds this season.

Chile, he doesn’t want you. Let him go.

Ma’am, he’s moved to another state to be with the woman he wants to marry. Let him go.

Sweetie, they are getting marred next year. Let him go.

Darling, he used you as his rebound chick, and as a way to get even or to get back at his wife whom he found out was cheating with another man. Let him go.

Honey, he was sloppy, trifling, and dirty. He was sleeping with you and another woman, and all three of you worked at the same place. That is just gutter and ratchet. Let him go.

He never loved you. He never wanted to be serious with you. He never thought of you as someone he would be wife, or marry. He just used you because he was hurt, and he was angry at his wife. But, I don’t see how he can be mad at her for cheating when he was also sleeping around while he was married. So, two wrongs don’t make a right. Yet, you laid up with him for three years, and like you said, “You didn’t care.” Therefore, he didn’t care.

But, you’re sad and trifling yourself. You are having an affair with a married man, and you truly felt that he would leave his wife for you. And, on top of this, you worked together, and, yet, you continued to allow yourself to be used by him. You are childish, and you are silly. Why are you confronting the other woman at work because he is sleeping with the both of you? That –ish sounds dumb as hell! (Chirp, chirp)

You are 28 years old running after some man who doesn’t want you. And, he’s shown you this from the beginning. You never met his family when you traveled with him to his hometown. You never met his children. Look here, if a man doesn’t introduce you to his family, friends, or anyone he is close to, and you are sleeping with him, and have been sleeping with him for three years, then, just know that he doesn’t see you as the woman he will settle down with. You are not the woman for him, and he just using you for sex, money, and to tell all his problems and worries. You are a dumping ground for him until he finds another woman, which he did, and that is the woman you set him up to be with because you were the rebound fixer-up chick.

Dating or sleeping with a married man, or any man who is in a relationship does not mean he will leave his woman to be with you. You are the in between chick that he is using to get out of his situation. You are the fixer-up chick who tells him that he is great, he is the man, and that he is loved. You cook, clean, and do everything for him without the commitment. You are the woman that stroke and caress him when he’s down, and a place to lay his head and burdens. When he is rejuvenated and feels better, he finds another woman, and she steps in and replaces you because you have built him up for the next woman.

So, please move on and let him go. He is not coming back to you. He’s moved on. So, you can sit there and be mad all you want, and you can be mad at her for swooping in and taking him off your hands. But, he is not coming back to you, and you will never be a family or married to him. Stop harassing her, texting her and him, and making a damn fool of yourself. It’s not cute and it’s unlady-like. You are doing nothing but proving her point of how childish you are, and the immature games you are playing by blowing up their phones like you are 10 years old. Girl bye!

Life lesson – Stop sleeping with married men. It will end poorly. Stop giving your all to a man who is giving you nothing in return. If he never introduces you to anyone he is close with, i.e., family, friends, loved ones, then you are not as special as you think you are. He is not going to wife you, marry you, or make you his serious girlfriend. You are something to do. Sleeping with co-workers is bad judgment. Never –ish where you work. Lastly, why confront the other woman when you should be confronting him? You don’t know what lies or BS he is telling her, so why you calling her, texting her, and mad at her. Your anger is misplaced, and you should be confronting him. But, you won’t learn, and you won’t listen because you are too stuck on stupid and d**k-matized. She got him, and you’re still trying to figure out how to get him back. Bye Felicia! – Terrance Dean

Photo source: Shuttershock

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