We couldn’t make this isht up if we tried
Man Kills Friend, Cuts Off Genitals, Feeds To Dog
A drunk who shot his best pal in the head before chopping off his penis and feeding it to his dog was so overcome with guilt he handed himself in to police as soon as he sobered up.
Drunk Mario Alberto Lizalde Reyes, 25, had been walking his dog with lifelong friend Mario Hernandez Banda, 24, when the two men started arguing. Reyes said that Banda had tried to touch him “in a sexual way” in the neighborhood of Parajes de San Isidro, in the city of Ciudad Juarez, in the north-central Mexican state of Chihuahua.
“We were both drunk and he tried touching me in a sexual way,” Reyes said in a televised confession.
“After pushing him off, he went to urinate in an alley, so I followed him, pulled out my gun and shot him in the head.
“I then took his knife off him and chopped off his penis as punishment and put it in a bag,” Reyes added.
“But my dog was next to me and was sniffing at it so I decided to give it to him and he ate it.”
Leaving the bloody body slumped in the alley, Reyes then casually finished walking his dog before going home to sleep off the booze.
But the next day he felt so guilty about what he had done, he decided to turn himself in.
“He came in covered in cuts and bruises, and said he had fought with his stepfather when he told him what he had done,” a police spokesman said.
“He then admitting killing his best friend and said that although his friend had tried sexually assaulting him, he was still a human being and didn’t deserve to die.”
He now faces life in jail.
That’s one sick Scooby snack.
Image via Shutterstock/OmniaCuauhtemoc