Woman Who Married Herself Says It Was Out Of Self Love
Via The Root reports:
Over the weekend, news quickly spread of a woman who had staged an elaborate wedding ceremony to marry herself on her 40th birthday. Yes, you read that right. Herself.
Yasmin Eleby, a kindergarten teacher in Houston, hadn’t been in a serious relationship for six years. But the lack of a significant other didn’t stop her from getting hitched and inviting 160 guests to the Houston Museum of African American Culture to witness the occasion. She went all out, buying a ring to mark the occasion—an amethyst-and-diamond eternity band—spending months pouring over each detail of the ceremony and enlisting the help of 10 bridesmaids and three ministers on her big day.
“I would love it if other people—men and women—had enough self-love and self-worth and they wanted to commit themselves to themselves,” says Eleby. “I would say go for it. You cannot be with someone else if you don’t love yourself.”
Some—well, many—called this act crazy. I wondered what motivated Eleby to go this untraditional route. Was this an act of desperation or self-love? And how much did she spend on this? (“I had enough money to pay for what I wanted,” she says.) I tracked her down at home, where she was unwinding after a day’s work. Over the course of the interview, we talked marriage—yes, she still wants a husband; media mayhem—“I am totally shocked how me loving myself is offending somebody else”; and mental health—no, she is not crazy (or bitter).
The Root: A lot of people have assumed that marrying yourself was an act of desperation. What exactly was the ceremony about for you?
Yasmin: The ceremony is not about me being bitter for not having a man. It wasn’t like, “OK, I’m upset that I’m 40 and don’t have a man.” I wanted to show myself my self-love, my self-worth and my self-respect. It was always about me loving me. When God sends me my husband, he will come, but until then, I’m OK with it just being with me.
TR: What vows did you take during the ceremony?
YE: The first one was about forgiving myself. We’ve all made mistakes. I had to realize that if I ask for forgiveness, then it’s done. I don’t have to keep dwelling on the past. I can let it go. My second vow was to honor myself as a beautiful, fabulous being, conscious of making decisions for myself and to honor my self-worth. The third vow was love. I made a promise to love myself and to know that the more love I have for myself, the more love I have to share with others.
Is this a bold expression of self-love…or some of the lonliest isht you’ve ever seen in your life?