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Dear Bossip,

Well, me and my high school sweetheart have been broken up for about 5 months now.

Our relationship was going great then all of a sudden it just turned to -ish. We were spending a lot of time together, like a lot. Only because he works hella hours and we never really saw him much, even though he lived 10 minutes away.

Well, his mom had to have a surgery that would require him to “take care of her” day in and day out, but he works from 1pm til 10pm. We started arguing a lot then because we weren’t seeing him AT ALL anymore. I mean no phone conversations or emails, just nothing at all! When I did call him to see what was up he was always too busy to talk or had to call me back. He never calls back, ever. I tell him “If you don’t call like you care or start to spending any time with us, then I am going to leave you!” He goes on about why am I always making him out to be a bad person or that he ain’t out there cheating. Keep in mind he has left us already for 3 different women. When I say us I mean his son and I.

Anyways, I guess he eventually got tired of me “nagging” him, and he left. I hacked his FB to see what was really going on, and low and behold, he has a girlfriend! I was soooo angry. I was angry that he lied. Angry that he can never be a man and tell me when he f***s me over and over again. I always have to find out from his jump-offs or when I go to the doctor. I found out a few months ago that he ruined my health.

He won’t tell me how long he and the new girlfriend has been together. He won’t come and confront me face to face about anything! He rarely calls, and when he does we argue. I argue with the new girlfriend on FB, mainly about him because someone told her that he and I were sleeping around. I blocked her at this time and I haven’t seen him since I don’t know when.

Well, recently her and her goon guy friend started talking -ish on my FB about me and MY SON –  A 2 year old. I don’t know how they did it, but they did. I had had ENOUGH! I told him before how tired I was of this girl talking -ish to me about me and my son. He laughed at me. I called his job and got him fired! I did. Like I said I had enough.

I called him and told him what was going on and he acted like he had amnesia He said he was at work and he had no idea of what was going on. Earlier that day I told him that she was sending messages to me through people I know. How, I don’t know. I didn’t even feed into the stuff from earlier at that. I told the person to tell her to mind her business and that I miss her too, LOL.

Well, he called and was GOING OFF! I WAS SO DAMN MAD! Like I told him, I let the junk go. I ask him where does she get off talking -ish about my son or telling me ANYTHING about my life! He says he doesn’t know because he doesn’t talk about me at all, and that he has no reason to. I tell him he is definitely lying. This girl can tell you about my life inside out! I swear!

He kept calling my house trying to get me to talk to him and leaving messages trying to reason with me. I was ready to fight, no lie. I finally sat down and talked to him this very night, after he kept calling. He apologized for everything and told me he ALMOST CHEATED on me while we were together. He said he was sorry for not believing me when he I told him his girl likes to talk -ish about our son, he said, “And to prove this to you I won’t ever talk to her again!” Those were his words, not mine. I was in awe!

After that night I ain’t heard from him since the other day when he called to argue. I laughed and hung up on his behind. I haven’t talked to him since. They are still together, however! I was mad as heck when I found this out. Then, he wants to call me and argue with me about coming to see our son. But when it’s time to step it up, HE HAS NO GAS! THAT’S HIS EXCUSE FOR E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!!! WHY HE COULD NEVER COME TO SEE US, GO TO DOCS APPOINTMENTS,..ETC

I miss him so damn much, you have no idea. I love him til death. He is the love of my life, along with our son. I want to be with him. I don’t want to let us go. And, if I am supposed to I don’t know how. I want to call him every minute of every day, but against my better judgment I don’t. I dream about him. I dream about us. It’s like God is testing my strength and emotionally and physically. It’s like some days I’m ok and I don’t worry or think about it, but other days I can’t deal with it. I just have to see him or call him, but I don’t.

I got a job recently. He got mad at me for that. Told me I was immature.

AND, I’m pregnant with our 2nd kid. He really wanted nothing to do with me after I told him that. He said it wasn’t his and that I better take care of it! Meaning, he wants me to get an abortion. I think this is another reason he won’t come around. Like his worst fears will be confirmed if he does. – Still In Love

Dear Ms. Still In Love,

High school sweethearts, huh? Uhm, what high school is this because I want to send the superintendent a letter that they should shut this school down!

What the hell kind of grammar did you learn while you were in school? Chile, I swear the educational system in our country is shot to hell! We are going to be a third world country soon.

Anyway, back to you, sweetie. First off, that is not your man. You have community d**k. You know what community d**k is? It’s a man that every woman in the community is sharing, and the disease he left you with, well, boo boo, every girl he’s been with has it too. He will drop his pants and stick any and everything with no regard or concern about protection. That is community d**k. He’s nasty, trifling, selfish, arrogant, unclean, unhealthy, and a boy!

I really don’t understand why you want him back after he’s cheated on you three different times, and, yet, you’ve caught him time and time again. He’s lied to you, deceived you, played you, and publicly humiliated you. Chile, I swear some of you need a brain scan to see if you really have one. You can’t be dumb, stupid, and naïve!

I surely hope that you don’t think what you’re going through is love because it is not. If you do, then I blame your momma and your aunties because I am certain they went through the same thing with the men in their lives, and you are only repeating a vicious cycle that you saw and you feel it is okay to accept this treatment from some boy.

Honey, you are not in love. What you are experiencing with that BOY is not love. It is lust, drama, and a severe case of delusional psychosis. You are delusional to believe that he will be the man you want him to be. You are delusional to think he will stop cheating on you. You are delusional to think he will settle down and marry you, be a father to his child, and ever grow up and be a real man. Girl, you are delusional about your health status. The man gave you a disease, and you want him back? (*  *) Blank stare.

And, I truly do not believe that you are playing with a full deck. You can’t be. Girl, you are pregnant again with his second child. SMDH! Two words for you: Welfare’s finest. You’re the reason why some folks don’t want to pay taxes. And, your no-good-for-nothing-dirty-d**k-man, ugh! I can’t believe you laid down with him despite knowing about the other women, and what he’s doing in the streets. He’s disgusting.

Then, you’re hacking into your man’s Facebook account, and arguing with a woman on Facebook about your man!?!?! You’re all a bunch of silly dumbasses. You’re a trick, he’s a trick, and the other girl is an even bigger trick.

You’re talking about you don’t know how to let him go. Well, just let him go. Stop calling him because he isn’t calling you. Stop obsessing over him because he isn’t thinking about you. Stop wondering what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with, because whatever he’s doing it ain’t sanitary, clean, or healthy. Get into you. Get into loving yourself. Get into building yourself and inspiring yourself. And, uhm, sweetie, God is not testing you. Please don’t bring God into this that you created. Not unless you’re going to ask God to be removed from this situation.

Look, I’m sorry but you’re going to have to move on. He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t want to be with you. He’s shown you who he is. He is not a man, he is a boy. Why do you want to be with a boy? Why do you want to play these games with him? He’s not worth it. Please get some self-esteem, some self-worth, and know your value. Stop being the victim and allowing yourself to stoop to their level. You’ve got to learn how to be a better woman for your children, and for yourself. Go to court, ask for full custody of your children, and request to put him on child support. Stop playing games on Facebook, that’s what children do. Ignore, block and delete the drama. Stop inviting him back into your life. He is the catalyst for the drama and stress. He’s not worth it, nor the investment. For once in your life, invest in you, and your child. Invest in making yourself better and not some ratchet and ghetto bird arguing on social media. It’s not cute. Grow up and stop calling him your high school sweetheart. You are out of the phase in your life. Be a woman, and not some dizzy little girl. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean:  Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter:  @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE!

Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria   Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!




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