Dear Bossip: She's 7 Months Pregnant, Seeing Other Guys & Pushed Me Away

Dear Bossip,

My name is DC, and my ex and I have dated for about 7 months before she got pregnant.

Things seemed fine until I started to feel uncomfortable with the male friends she had. She told me not to worry and that they were friends and that’s it.

Well, Thanksgiving comes around and I go to her family’s house. She spent most of the day and evening texting and Snap-chatting with a male friend, which at that point I became upset, but I did not say anything. Later that night she said she was going to go Black Friday shopping with some friends, and she ended up sleeping with that guy in the car. She avoided talking to me until Sunday night, which is when she told me. I forgave her and tried to move past it.

Towards the end of the following month she became pregnant. I was so excited and things seemed fine until the 9^th week of her pregnancy in which she started pushing me away. And, then I found out she had met another guy named Nic.

Now, the 11^th week of pregnancy she tells me she needs a break from us. Then 2 weeks after that she tells me that we are not going to work and we need to move on. She has completely ignored my calls and texts up until the 22^nd week of her pregnancy only to inform me of the ultrasound appointment. I went to that and she did not talk to me much just “hello” and “good bye.”

I texted her the next day to talk and we setup a lunch date for the following weekend. Once at lunch she asked if I was dating and I replied no. Then, she said I should and she was going to after the baby gets settled in. After lunch she returned to not talking to me. What do I do? I love her and want to be a family, and I don’t understand why she is treating me and acting this way. Please help! – Wants To Be A Father

Dear Mr. Wants To Be A Father,

Uhm, sir….are you sure that the child she is carrying is yours? You’re so desperate to be a father, and to be a family that perhaps she is trying to spare you the heartache in learning that you are not the father of the child.

I mean, bruh, come on! Look at how she is treating you, and the amount of dudes she is casually seeing, dating, and having sex with. Open your eyes, dude. Open your eyes!

First, you have only known her for 7 months before she became pregnant. Seven months, and you are talking about you love her, but from the very beginning you were uncomfortable with her male friends. She told you not to worry and that they were ‘just friends.’ Sir, that was clue number one. She’s maintaining ‘friendships’ with other men while she is dating you. SMDH! If the shoe were on the other foot and you were maintaining friendships with your so-called female friends how do you think she, or any other woman would feel about you texting and calling other women and you’re supposedly in a relationship? Don’t be a fool!

Second, she invited you to her family’s house for Thanksgiving, but she spent the time texting and Snap-chatting with a male friend. You opted not to say anything. Clue number two. You should have checked that behavior, and said something. But, you’ve allowed this to go on since the beginning when you stated you were uncomfortable with her keeping contact with her male friends. If it really bothered you, then, you should have really indicated that and not have allowed it to continue. So, since you didn’t say or do anything, she feel it’s okay and she can do whatever she wants. Therefore, she invites you out to be with her and her family for the holiday, but she is spending time on her phone with someone else. It’s rude, and it’s inconsiderate. Any person who invites you someplace and spends their time on their phone instead of engaging with you is rude and inconsiderate.

Third, she lied to you about where she was going after the dinner, and she slept with the same dude she was texting and Snap-chatting. AND!!!! She slept with him in the car! Lawd, bruh, she slept with dude in the car! That’s just ratchet and trifling. Then, she avoids you until the weekend, and when you do talk she confesses about sleeping with him, and you take her back? Why? She cheated on you and slept with a dude in his car. That was your chance to take your exit and leave her and her ratchet behavior behind.

Next, she meets another dude during the 9^th week of her pregnancy, you learn about it, and you are still trying to have a relationship? She then tells you that she needs a break, and for you to move on. Bruh, what more of a clue do you need that she doesn’t want you or to be bothered with you? She is community p***y. Everyone is getting it in. She is spreading her legs for any dude that steps to her. Heed the advice and let her go and move on.

Then, you don’t even hear from her until months later when she invites you to the ultrasound and she doesn’t even acknowledge you. That –ish is low down and trifling. But, you are holding out for hope and that you and she will be a family. Then, you invite her to lunch the next weekend and she tells you to move on and date other people. She told you that she is going to see other people once the baby is settled. HUH?? Come on, dude! She doesn’t want you.

You deserve better. You don’t need someone who treats you like another random dude she’s spreading her legs for. How she is treating you and dogging you out and being disrespectful toward you is uncalled for. Please open your eyes and start thinking about things clearly.

I gather she feels that she has found a gullible and straight up p***y whipped dude in you. She is trying to trap you into sponsoring her child. I mean, come on! I bet you haven’t even slept with her since learning she was pregnant. That gush-gush juice got you feigning. You better let it go, and wake up. That child may not be yours. As soon as the child is born you demand a DNA test. Don’t be so quick and naïve on this child, and in wanting to make something happen between you and her.

It’s time for you to let it go and let her go. She has shown you who she is. She is not and will not EVER be faithful to you. Why do you want to be with her so badly? You don’t even really know her! You’ve only known her 7 months and you were already running up in her raw. So, image the other dudes she’s been keeping company with and how many of them have been chopping her down with no condom. She can sleep with a dude in his car with no problem, and I’m sure she wasn’t thinking of using a condom. If she doesn’t care about herself, then why are you investing in her?

Look, you may want to be a father, and you may want to have a family. You didn’t indicate why you are so desperate for a child, or to have a woman, but you need to work on you and find out why are you desiring this. Why are you allowing yourself to be misused and mistreated by this woman? Why are you putting up with this woman who is sleeping around and pushing you away, but you can’t take the hint or clue that she doesn’t want to be bothered with you? Dude. Stop. Start thinking. And, look at the reality of this situation. She’s sleeping around. She’s been sleeping around since you’ve been dating. You don’t deserve this. You are better than this and her. If she keeps telling you that she doesn’t want to be bothered, then stop trying to force this situation. It’s over. She’s moved on. She’s doesn’t want you. You’re going to have to get a backbone, let your nuts hang, and stop this pandering after her. Let it go, bruh! She’s not worth you. And, make sure you get a DNA test on the child. Stop being the naïve fool, and start thinking smartly. – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean:  loveandrelationships@bossip.com  Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter:  @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE!

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