Question of the Day: Is Romance Really Dead?

- By Bossip Staff

Romance, chivalry and courtship all seem to have vanished or maybe they’re just on a hiatus. From planning a surprise dinner for your mate to telling them that you care, the rules of romance have changed, leaving many hopeless romantics feeling helpless and cynical about the prospects of finding true love. Do your dates step up and do the romantic things you’d like them to do or are they distant and non-chalant when it comes to anything romantic or sensual? Are today’s womn  too independent for today’ s man to court and woo her?  Discuss

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  • TiVo

    Romance is dead cause these dumb broads will call you corny if you try to bring flowers, candy or just take ’em out for a walk in the park. They only pay you attention if you roll up with a phat ride with big rims and ignant music like “Gucci Mane” blaring out the tinted windows. Only when they hit their late 30’s & 40’s and after their va jay jays look like beat up roast beef and they got kids as old as the men they date then they want romance.

  • jj


  • Its6amHoGetOut

    Tivo is right, but mainly referring to you deep south heffas, i can surprise my girl and bring her flowers and she’d cry, that dinner sh*t she calls me and tells me where we’re going, that means she’s paying and i show up.

  • skeptical88

    Romance is dead because all the women are fat and ugly. Also, fools are respecting strippers as real humans so everything is lost. You want love go find it with Flava Flav and Ray J.

  • 11:11


  • nikkiii


  • 11:11

    Romance is not dead, but when are people going to realize it’s about more- it’s about the soul connection with another soul that inspires you to understand the mysteries of our being, serve humanity, banish the ego… I’m talking about one soul-two bodies. Now that’s romance.

  • SLIM


  • CattyBitch

    Romance is definitely not dead if you’re a man or woman of quality. I think when you’ve been with someone for a while it’s not so much about flowers and candy but little things you do to make your partner’s life better and to show your appreciation for that person.

  • WordtotheWise

    nikkiii>>>amen. Whatever happened to becoming friends first and then moving on. I’m amazed at how many men and women hop in the bed before the know the person’s last name, and then, God forbid, wind up pregnant by a man they hardly knew.

    Romance is not dead, you just have to find a person who is not threatened by your independence and is willing to let you be you. Too many men and women want to change the other person. Too many men and women looking at the outward appearance of a person (yes, I know many times looks are the first thing that attracts us, but sometimes when you get to know the person, their looks don’t seem as important), but if we get to know them, their character, and their integrity, we might be more likely to couple up with the right person. I know I have.

    Note to black women: I’m not trying to start an interracial conversation here, but open your horizons; don’t just look at the package (not THAT package, if you know what I mean), but the whole person even if he isn’t the race, color, etc. you might desire. Give a person a chance. He might just be the best thing that came into your life. I know from experience.

  • Todd

    Romance is dead. I try to be good and respectful to women and it gets me nowhere. I am constantly overlooked and treated as a ‘friend’. I decided not to date at all, and if I end up being single for the rest of my life, so be it. I’m just tired of trying to have a meaningful, healthy relationship without screaming, cursing, and fights…because honestly, most women like the drama. I don’t do that. Love notes, flowers, candy–its all futile. Pointless. Love yourself first.


    I’ve been married for 5 years and of course my wife says she wants more romance and affection what woman does not but I’m just like every other man I want to get laid more often than twice a week,hell I tell her lay me more often and the romance will be more often cause I would know the end result,Men are form Mars and Women are from Venus!

  • WordtotheWise

    Insider>>>excellent points!

    There used to be a time when men wanted independent women. What happened? Are men that insecure that they want to play the role of king but they lack the skills and tools to be the king? Is it that they want their egos stroked and they need to feel like they are the only ones that can call the shots in a relationship? I will gladly “submit” to a man that is taking his place in that position, i.e. BEING a man and not a whiny little boy. I think a lot of women would.

  • WordtotheWise

    Could it be that maybe we are running into the same kinds of men/women because we keep hanging out in the same circles? If you are a guy and you keep finding women that only want thugs, money, and such, change your position. Go around a better quality of women. Same for women. If you are running into thugs and men that have multiple babies by the same/other women, maybe change your circles because from a woman’s standpoint, I don’t know any female who wants a loser, i.e. a thug, just money (most of the women I know make great money themselves), and all the other things I hear men describe. They want good, loving relationships because they are very good women.

  • always knew

    Romance will NEVER be dead,

    especially if you pick a guy that

    is your friend, cares for you and wants you

    He will go out of his way to do things for you…

    That in turn, makes you do *special* things for him..

    Real relationships still have romance, sometimes DECADES into a relationship..Look at Ossie and Ruby Dee..and yes, I will be married until either of us passes…

    Chivalry won’t die unless REAL MEN do…

  • geico lizard

    “Are today’s womn too independent for today’ s man to court and woo her? ”

    Hell yeah. If you treat a woman good they will call you weak and cheat on you with a man who treats them like shit.

  • Spewin truth

    Sad that this is even an issue in the Black community. Where are all the Black lovers? Were are the black couples on Friday and Saturday nights? I can tell you, their somewhere screwing not on dates and out together in public but hoveled up in a bed somewhere screwing. Sad


    Romance is not dead!!! If you truly love your mate unconditionally then naturally you want to do things for them to make them feel special. Which leads to gift$, dinners, Intense loving making, get-a-ways and the little things that make them smile. Now, the key here is RECIPROCATION. How receptive and appreciative your mate is determines if your romantic gesture was successful…BUT having them return the gesture simply amplifies the Romance to a whole another level…

  • DDub

    Romance isn’t dead if you’re in a committed relationship, otherwise we tend to think differently…

  • 2am

    Romance isnt dead, courtship, a component of romance is weak…stop giving it up so soon and let the man woo you. I know this idea it dead to many who visit this site, but it works.

  • mane

    Romance, will never die!

  • Bill Bigsby

    @ TIVO you are 100% right.

    if chivalry and courtship is dead its because those chicks indeed killed it. If woman have anyone to be pissed of with, it should be those women who go out of there way to kill a gentleman’s spirits.

    u kindly ask them to dance, they do everything short of dissing ur mom. You introduce yourself and they laugh and call u corny. But when a thug dude approaches in baggy jeans and tattoos, they get a better response. Why not adjust too what women seem to like.

    Ladies, if u want things to change, you need to check ur girls who are contributing to this trend.They r ruining it for you. Dont just laugh with her knowing she is wrong for what she did. Men are only making adjustments in order to gain success.

  • elle

    it’s not all chics so the ignorent one’s that are saying this are pathetic and need to expand their horizons. Stop being materialistic and obsessed with looks and the other insignificant things and maybe you will attract the right kind of people in your lives. Ever thought it’s the type pf people you are drawn to or vice versa which is the reason why you feel romance doesn’t exist anymore?

  • WordtotheWise

    Elle, that’s what I’m talking about. Where are you guys finding these women who reject you because your are decent? Like I said, you might be hanging in the wrong circles. Any woman who rejects the kindness of a man or woman has issues.

  • Sydney™

    @Bill Bigsby

    “u kindly ask them to dance, they do everything short of dissing ur mom. You introduce yourself and they laugh and call u corny. But when a thug dude approaches in baggy jeans and tattoos, they get a better response. Why not adjust too what women seem to like.”

    And where are you meeting these women, a club?


    “stop giving it up so soon and let the man woo you. I know this idea it dead to many who visit this site, but it works.”

    I agree — a man should conduct the wooing and pursing, not the reverse.

    As far as chivalry and romance, I’ve been sent flowers unannounced at work, had doors held open for me, romantic dinners, received letters expressing emotions, with no encouragement, so, no, I do not believe chivalrous gestures no longer exist. I do, however, think women, and men, should employ the gift of discernment when determining which individuals are worthy of courtship. If you want romance, you’re less likely to receive gentlemanly treatment from a man who disrespects women, such as referring to them as “bi**hes,” “broads,” and other misogynistic terms, and who doesn’t display common courtesy. Conversely, men, if a woman doesn’t comport herself as a lady, she may not be a person you can expect to be appreciative of your charm and decorum. If a woman doesn’t thank you for holding the door open for you or treats you rudely, that’s an excuse to revert to ruffian behavior that is beneath a true gentleman.

    Using common sense and good judgment go a long way.

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