The Only 10 Black People Not On Empire

The Black Kid From The Sunny Delight Commercial Who Wanted The Purple Drink

Stacey Dash – She’s probably finding a way to tell Fox News how the show promotes racism rape slavery immigration.

Ben Carson – He better get his a$$ on that show if he wants a single Black vote. But alas…not happening.

Bill Cosby – The role of creepy jail guy without a soul was already taken, so he’s not really needed.

The Black Guy Who Does The Robot On The Chappelle Show – He’s probably busy…

Richie From Family Matters – He might not be on the show…

Gerald From Hey Arnold – He might not be there…unless they do a cartoon episode. And, really, anything is possible.

WWE’s Pimp Wrestler The Godfather – Maybe he’s hanging around in the background somewhere

Eddie Long – He won’t bless us with his presence, we don’t think. Right?

Rachel Dolezal – Okay, look, we ran out of Black people. Literally every other Black person is on Empire. She’s the closest we could get.