What In The World Is "Mild Pedophilia" And Is It Real?

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Jared Fogle Diagnosed With Made-Up “Disease”

On Thursday, Jared Fogle was sentenced for molesting children and being one of the worst humans ever. However, his doctors and lawyers tried to argue that he only suffered from “mild pedophilia.”

Um. One question: What in the greasy hell is “mild pedophilia”…? You can’t mildly want to have sex with kids, fam. We’re confused and you want to know who’s just as confused? Everyone else. Take a look at these tweets asking the important questions.

Dr. Bradford, testifying for the defense, describes this as "mild pedophilia." https://t.co/alydLsO5kv

— Jill Disis (@jdisis) November 19, 2015

what the hell is mild pedophilia?

— #Pray4CO (@RealLifeKaz) November 19, 2015

What is exactly is mild pedophilia? Is that like being a little dead? or slightly pregnant?

— U. MusNot KnoBoutMe (@Nothinbuttreble) November 19, 2015

Dafuq is "mild pedophilia?" Wanting to have sex with children "a little bit" is not a thing. I hate everything. #JaredFogle

— Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie) November 19, 2015

His lawyers try to plead "mild pedophilia." Like being a little bit of a murderer. NOT A THING. You either are or aren't. #JaredFogle

— Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie) November 19, 2015

What is "mild" pedophilia? You like to watch child porn but only on weekends? https://t.co/BWbCqOXy86

— Drew (@drewskeeeet) November 19, 2015

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Wait. Jared Fogle diagnosed with "mild pedophilia"? Boy, white privilege gonna privilege

— Ice Bear (@LeeTRBL) November 19, 2015

They just said "mild pedophilia" like it can be cured with a Z-pak and plenty of rest? HE SEXUALLY ABUSED KIDS. FOH. https://t.co/iLGQVK3cOl

— Brandon Coy (@TheWurdsmith) November 19, 2015

didn’t know pedophilia came in mild flavor RT @FOX59: #JaredFogle diagnosed with hypersexuality and mild pedophilia.

— gino.wav (@GinoTheGhost) November 19, 2015

Is "mild pedophilia" like "rape rape"? Asking for Salon and Whoopi

— Súper (@SuperAndrea) November 20, 2015

Oh, well, if it's just mild pedophilia… MILD? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!? https://t.co/RIYx0BXxcA

— Carlie (@girlmoving) November 20, 2015

Today I learned that some people think there's a thing as "mild pedophilia". #JaredFogle pic.twitter.com/wjt10dUUeE

— Liberal Librarian (@Lib_Librarian) November 19, 2015