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Dear Bossip,

I had a friend of 20 years. She is a mistress to a man whom she confided to me all her unhappiness about their relationship.

He had always been a damn player. I had respected this man just because she’s still with him, otherwise, I hated him for all his behavior. He’s disgusting. He’s a man you won’t wish to have if you know about his true colors.

One time we went to my cousin’s daughter’s wedding with my friend and we slept at this man’s farm. I slept in the kid’s bedroom and they slept in the main room on arrival. The next day, the helper offered me another room outside the main room where we were, which has a big bed. I left early for bed because I was tired and had to drive the next day. I told my friend that I was going to sleep in another room outside.

After two months, she came to my work fuming asking me how come I slept outside. I was confused because I didn’t think it was an issue. She burst and said her man’s farm workers had just told her that one saw me with her man at the bar where I left them and went to sleep. I was in shock and asked why did they say it was me? How could I do that with her man, especially such a man? I am in a happy relationship and I’m satisfied? I wasn’t even drunk, I was sober. She believed them though, and told me to tell my man about her attack which I did. She’s continuing to tell all our friends what I did, but fortunately no one is reacting bad against me. I am so pissed off and confused. – She Is Lying

Dear Ms. She Is Lying,

Well, why doesn’t her man just come forward and tell her that he had nothing to do with you? Oh, right, it’s because she is a mistress herself, and because she is trifling and low down, then she doesn’t trust any woman around her man. Also, he is such a player that no matter what he says she doesn’t believe him because she knows what she has.

Therefore, why do you care what she thinks? Why do you care that she is spreading lies and rumors about you? As you said, no one believes her. Your man is not questioning you, or your relationship. You and he are happy, and it hasn’t affected your relationship. So, ditch her, stop pandering her infidelities and her position as a side chick. If you don’t condone her or their relationship, then why do you care what she thinks about you? She is foul. She is sleeping with a man who is married, and has no problem destroying another woman’s life, so why would you think she wouldn’t try to destroy yours?

She is not your friend. She just uses you to justify what she is doing. She wants you to condone her relationship, her side chick antics, and her bad behavior. You silently went along even despite your moral and ethics. Why? Because she is your friend? See, if you were a real friend then you would have checked her and told her that what she was doing was foul. You would have told her that sleeping with someone’s husband is not something you condone and if that’s how she is living, then you can’t be friends with someone like that. But, you wanted to protect your friendship, and not be honest. You held your tongue and smiled and listened to her talk about what she was doing, and how she justified what she was doing.

And, if she was so damn unhappy, then why did she stay? She complained to you as if you could do something about it. Why did you give her a listening ear? Hell, if she didn’t want to be with him, then leave! And, now she is accusing you of sleeping with her man. Girl, bye! Kick her to the curb, and dismiss her out of your life. You don’t need friends like her. She is too messy, has too much drama, and is a home-wrecker. Don’t entertain her, or her antics. She wants attention. She’s miserable, lonely, sad, and bitter. She wants folks to cater to her. Don’t. Stop taking her calls, and end this friendship. She has nothing going for her, and don’t let her home-wrecking side chick ways affect you. Be bigger and better. – Terrance Dean


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