Official BOSSIP Lingo Guide For Dummies

- By Bossip Staff
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Official BOSSIP Lingo Guide

BOSSIP has shaped the digital media universe with delicious wit, internet-shattering commentary and a hilariously innovative lingo that’s undeniably pushed modern journalism to fresh new heights over the past decade.

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Hit the flip to peep our official lingo guide (for dummies) powered by Ford.

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“Smashed to Smithereens”

There’s nothing special or amazing about “person A had secks with person B.” But “smashed to smithereens?” That’s beautifully poetic in a hilariously savagey way.

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“Cakes”

Booty is cool or whatever but “CAKES” gets the people going. It’s the thicker, prettier, finer cousin of booty.

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“Totin’ a gut full”

Everyone says pregnancy. It’s kinda boring and cliche. “Totin’ a gut full” is way more fun. Like blondes.

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“Panty melter”

We call eye candy “panty melters” if they meet the following panty melty criteria: 1) Must drive the ladies crazy 2) must have a 9-pack 3) must be swoon-worthy enough to actually melt panties.

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Some melt panties, others destroy them. There are levels to panty meltery.

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“Sorcery”

We describe cosmetic surgery or mind-blowing makeup as “sorcery” when it’s clear that a very powerful form of magic (or witchcraft) was conjured up to create a certain look.

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“Dragged to Hell”

This happens whenever the internet unites for a hilariously vicious roast session aimed at someone who did something terrible (or outrageously tacky). It’s definitely an art form.

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Even TMZ paid homage to the throne.

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“Becky”

We hopped on the “Becky” wave (word to Plies) before Beyonce snatched her caucasian wig to oblivion. It’s way more fun and shady to say “Becky” than “white woman” if we’re being completely honest.

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“Girthy bae”

Stocky? Eh. Husky? Meh. Fluffy? Nah. GIRTHY? YAAASSSSSSS!

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It was!

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“Swirly”

We describe any/everything interracial relationship-y as “swirly.” Swirly love, swirly seeds, struggle swirl, swirly McSwirl. You love it.

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…or “swirlationship” if ya nasty.

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“Thicky fine”

Them: “curvy educator goes viral” – Us: “Thicky fine teacher bae shatters the internet”

Guess which headline won the internet?

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“At the tender age of…”

There’s usually nothing tender about these ages. Sarcasm at its absolute shadiest.

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