Break Up, Make Up…Do it Again. When is it Really Time to Throw in the Towel?

- By Bossip Staff

If you’ve been in a relationship for some years, it’s no secret it is not easy. Sometimes, things can get so hard to bear a “break” is necessary. But does this mean you’re broken up? Or how many times do you “break” before you realize it’s time to make your final exit? Many relationships are hard to let go; however, it’s hard to decipher when to give it another go, or give it the deuces. What’s the use in sticking around in a relationship if you’re not willing to give your all? You’re either in it for the long haul or not at all, there’s no in between, all or nothing. Relationships are work, but where do you draw the line between making it work and chasing a lost cause? Going back and fourth, swinging between togetherness and fall outs is emotionally draining, and not to mention, a waste of time. But the question still remains, how do you know when it’s really time to go?

Bossip asked a group of people and this is what they had to say:

For me, I know it’s time to hit the road when I’ve exhausted all avenues to try and make things work. If I’ve jumped hurdles, climbed mountains, swam seas and still can’t get it together, it’s over. I will try my damnedest to make it work though, because I never want to walk away from a relationship thinking I could’ve done more or feeling like I didn’t try. So for me, personally, that’s how I know it’s time to walk. -Jasmine, 28, Event Planner

When I don’t like seeing his face anymore! When I can’t stand to see the same face I couldn’t wait to see, it’s pretty much done for me. If I cringe when I hear his voice or get aggravated when I see his number pop up in my phone, it’s time! I really know a break-up is in the midst when I don’t want to spend time with him or think of him throughout the day. – Heather, 22, Finance

If you can see the person you’re with with someone else and you just don’t give a fu*k, then it’s pretty much done. Like if I found something that maybe alluded to some extra activity with another person and it don’t phase me, I’m out. I really think it boils down to that point where I’m just not attracted to her, mentally, physically, none of that, you know? But then again, I can’t call it. Because being that my parents have been together for like 30 year now, my pops told me that there were times where they weren’t feeling each other for years. So, I guess it depends on how bad you want it to work. – Derrick, 45, Funeral Home Director

I treat relationships the way I treat jobs and other things in my life. When the negative outweighs the positive or the I’m getting more dissatisfaction then pleasure, then it’s time for me to leave. Like if it’s no longer fun for me and we’re always bickering and bi*ching at each other, ugh. Like if I’m forever questioning why I’m still with them, then we gotta split. If I roll over and look at her like, why is she still here? It’s time to go. – Weisner, 29, Caterer

You know what? I don’t know. I always have those lingering relationships cause we break up and we’re still messing around kinda thing. I guess when he becomes of low priority and I’m really stressing to make a date or see him or call, for that matter. If I start making excuses not to see him, then it’s pretty much over, right? I think for me, it gets to a point where I just don’t want to be bothered. -Obi, 30, Writer

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Comments

  • Charles

    I’m in one of those cycles not. I’m so confused

  • Miss B

    I agree with all.

    It’s over when whatever the person has done now seems to be hibutal. When you can see them with someone else & dont care…TRUE!!!

    When you don’t look at them the same (they’re ugly, trifling looking; looks like a little boy now); can’t see a future with them anymore, don’t feel comfortable or safe around them!

  • Man, I just don't care™

    When you start enjoying your time with your other piece more than your main piece.

    It’s time for them to switch roles.

  • Lady J

    I teach my daughters to identify character flaws immediately, decide if you want to be involved with that type of person, if not just keep steppin..because those character flaws aint going to change…ie. controlling, emotionally abusive ect.

  • Jay the Real One

    Relationships take work. Women have to turn off the soap operas and turn off their big mouth friends and grow up and be real women.

  • Lady J

    @man I don’t care….One of the reasons I stayed was for my children…he was a great father…I sacrificed my happiness for my children’s happiness…. We also had a beautiful home cul de sac, and I didn’t want my kids lifestyle to change…

  • Jay the Real One

    ….conversely men need to realize being a man isn’t being “king” and you have to become unselfish and make that woman realize you care about her and put her first.

  • Miss B

    @Jay the Real One

    ….conversely men need to realize being a man isn’t being “king” and you have to become unselfish and make that woman realize you care about her and put her first.
    _________________________________
    How old are you?

    I so agree. My ex was selfish yet he wanted to be treated like a “King.” His happiness was important but when it came to pleasing me… NOPE!!

    And now he’s an “ex”

  • Miss B

    @JB…

    LOL… That’s what’s up!!!

  • Sasha

    If you are breaking up you are doing it for a reason. What does your inner spirit tell you, dont waste time on a relationship that has more downs than ups. It is time to hurt heal and go on. When you keep opening up old wounds and adding baggage the relationship is not going anywhere. If you love someone you should love them enough to let them go an get on with it, if it is meant to be they will be back, but ask yourself are you ready for that because of the hurt and pain you have felt.

  • Man, I just don't care™

    If you turn off of SportsCenter during basketball season I may catch a case.

  • Miss Glok9n

    I THINK THAT SOMEBODY IN PARTICULAR NEEDS TO READ THIS POST TODAY….

  • http://www.myspace.com/crimiegangmusik snoop bloggy blog ( if you knew betta, you'd do betta

    It’s time to call it quits when her arms get bigger than yours…..lol

  • Jay the Real One

    @ Miss B

    I’m 27 and I’m traditional…but you have to be fair. We both tired and hungry when we get home from work it’s not fair for everything to be on her. If you love somebody it can’t be about just you.

  • http://www.myspace.com/crimiegangmusik snoop bloggy blog ( if you knew betta, you'd do betta

    When she starts making you kiddie meals and making herself full course meals.

  • JB (8 months and it will be time for March Madness. Until then Are You Ready for Some Football?)

    Man, I just don’t care™

    If you turn off of SportsCenter during basketball season I may catch a case.
    _________________________________________________

    You know I love College basketball more thasn college football. You know the only reason that I am into it for the next 3 or 4 years anyway.

  • JB (8 months and it will be time for March Madness. Until then Are You Ready for Some Football?)

    It’s time to call it quits when her arms get bigger than yours…..lol
    ______________________________________________

    Serena and Common

  • Resurrected

    Yeah it can be very confusing and I am also in one of the cycles now was well, after all the games and not wanting to face what you have created… We broke up for 3 years and now we are back at to see if our feelings really matters or is it just plan old comfortability… I do always still see the love that is there and now the man is finally ready for some life changes so we will see..

  • Resurrected

    I am the type of person that does not give myself to any and everyone so I think that is one of the reasons for me… It takes a lot to get to know someone new and I still have love for the one that I want but people have to go through there own life experience to understand change… For me if you are willing to grow they I can stay and work at it but if you want to be stuck that is somthing else all together… Even in my time alone it was never about meeting the next man it was just about living life, healing and loving myself more because people can not do to you what you don’t allow… I just think that it is more creating boundaried then just the one big idea of love…

  • http://www.myspace.com/crimiegangmusik snoop bloggy blog ( if you knew betta, you'd do betta

    @ resurrected….good for you. i wish you guy’s the best.

  • Journey

    lol@snoop

  • Atl_Finest

    When your hanging out a rented Lamborghini with your wig split and so unconscious that a stranger has to call 911 for you cause the nicca you with left you alone to meet the 40yr old jumpoff who’s text started the fight to begin with.

  • Blacky - Unofficial Bossip celeb - Today is Q&A

    When the man is a black man, you know your relationship is over.
    @ Lady J
    Was he black? If so, that should have gave you a clue the relationship would not last.

  • Blacky - Unofficial Bossip celeb - Today is Q&A

    @Resurrected

    If he is black it has not changed and it is not going to last. Take my advice and run into the arms of a man of another race.

  • Resurrected

    Blacky

    I give each person an situation it’s own change to hang itself… I have to say that I don’t 100% agree with you because it is very easy to flip the script on a comment like that but yes many black men make a bad name for themselves but there is still hope because if I have a black son I would not give up on him…

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