Your Hobgoblin-Faced Little President Is About To Get Us All Killed And Twitter Is Making Arrangements

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Trump Threatens Nuclear War From Twitter

Remember when you all thought 2018 would be better than 2017? Remember those thoughts? Well, Melty-Faced Mussolini is here to ruin those plans by talking about nukes like they’re d***s and threatening to blow up North Korea. Of course, we’d all pretty much die too because North Korea would just nuke us back. Russia might jump in and start nuking. Everyone nukes! Wahoo!!

love to get off of a flight and see the words "nuclear button" trending

— Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) January 3, 2018

So you know what happens next in a time of crisis. Jokes! That’s right. So let’s cope with the end of the world with some funny tweets because why TF not.

Looks like @realDonaldTrump is tweeting about North Korea again….

Get your own Underground Bunker for $23,000!https://t.co/pTpoVEgG34 pic.twitter.com/5L8OuNOzXI

— Fat Kid Deals (@FatKidDeals) January 3, 2018

My favorite black mirror episode is when the leaders of nuclear armed nations sit at their desks slamming their nuke buttons like it’s a game of Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. pic.twitter.com/9x5I8JY8gs

— Ashlea ✨ (@Ashlea_Phenicie) January 3, 2018

I talked to a guy the other day who got fired from McDonald’s for sneaking his friends some free french fries but the president can put us on the brink of nuclear war with a phallic-laden tweet & we’re all just supposed to be cool with him keeping his job

— Clint Smith (@ClintSmithIII) January 3, 2018

Does "increasing the risk of nuclear war" violate the Twitter terms of service?

— Ezra Klein (@ezraklein) January 3, 2018

It's been 2018 for less than 48 hours and we're already debating whether nuclear war will break out because the POTUS has a tiny penis

— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) January 3, 2018

2017: Next year can’t be worse

FORTY-SIX HOURS INTO 2018: If we’re lucky, the bomb cyclone will knock out the power before Trump tweets any more nuclear war threats

— Daniel Lin (@danwlin) January 3, 2018

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Donald Trump will be the first President to start a war while sitting on the toilet between cocaine shits.

— Johnny Taylor, Jr. (@hipsterocracy) January 3, 2018

Nuclear war before Black Panther drop. That's wild trash.

— Shyne Coldchain Jr. (@Smooth_Orator) January 3, 2018

Trump just tweeted that he has a bigger nuclear weapon button than North Korea. We might just be doomed. He’s tweeting about nuclear war like it’s a PlayStation Game.

— deray (@deray) January 3, 2018

His button may be bigger but only because they switched it to an 80’s game show buzzer before he moved into the White House. #Nuclearbutton pic.twitter.com/ghkQOEJxmB

— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) January 3, 2018

"My button is bigger."
pic.twitter.com/OAQoGjolUY

— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) January 3, 2018

My nuclear button is small, but thick.

— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 3, 2018

He’s 70 years old. And he calls his penis a “button.”

— Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) January 3, 2018

Will someone working in the White House please tell Trump he has a huge "button" so we can avoid a nuclear war tonight. Thank you

— (((DeanObeidallah))) (@Deanofcomedy) January 3, 2018