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In case you haven’t heard, the NFL’s 32 (plantation) owners got together to decide what they would do about those pesky anthem protests – you know the ones where players take a knee during the national anthem to raise awareness for injustices people of color face in America. The owners came to a solution that is good for exactly zero people: players and personnel who don’t want to stand for the anthem can wait in the locker rooms like kids in timeout. But if they go out on the field, they have to stand or face penalties. Presumably these penalties will be worse than getting hit in the head for years on end while working for a league that refuses to acknowledge the long-term life-threatening damages of said activities.

I have some initial reactions to the decision *ahemit’sbullsh*tahem*. So here goes: my 26 questions about the NFL’s love of white supremacy.

(Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

Why are players and personnel coming out for the National Anthem at all anyway?

Why not just make everyone stay in the their respective locker rooms and come out after the song is over if you absolutely must play it at all?

Does it make the troops happier to see one lonely a$$ middle linebacker on the field for the anthem?

Did the owners even discuss this with ANYone in the military before making this decision?

Are you going to sing the whole anthem since you love the song so much?

You know, the third verse about hunting down slaves and killing them? So we can get the full power of America’s favorite song?

When was the last time the NFL was in the news for something awesome happening?

So, isn’t the whole reason Kaepernick isn’t in the league based on some notion that he’s such a controversial figure that he’ll divide the locker room?

Based on the idea that somehow anthem protests are divisive for teams?

So the NFL’s solution to such an action is to quite literally divide the locker rooms based on players’ inclinations to stand up for the anthem or not? Gotcha.

You want to bring up the NBA’s policy of making it mandatory for players to stand for the anthem right now, don’t you? Well, okay. It’s important to mention that the NBA’s policy was enacted decades ago in earnest and the NFL’s is in place for the sole purpose of telling black people to shut up. There’s a difference. Got it?

Hey NFL, do you even Constitution?

Do you know what I said the last time I was at an NFL game and the anthem was playing?

“F***.” That’s the word I was saying. Why?

Because I was at the Papa John’s stand and didn’t have enough hands for two Sprites and a pizza. Why?

Because concession stands are goddamn open during the anthem. So people can walk around and make transactions and give exactly zero f****s about the anthem, but you want the black players to be obedient?

Call me crazy, but is this less about the anthem itself and more about making sure you keep black people are kept in their place?

Colin Kaepernick is never playing NFL football again, huh?

Why can’t the NFL find it in their hearts to figure out how to make the game safer – something that is actually costing human lives – but want to rally behind this pretty pointless act of patriotism?

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

Do the owners realize they are siding with Donald Trump?

When is siding with Donald Trump ever the right answer?

When you’re white?

When you’re racist?

When you pretend to give a sh** about doing what’s right but really you don’t care at all about black people or what they stand for?

Let’s talk more broadly for a bit: old rich white dudes are going to destroy the world, aren’t they?

How long did it take the NFL to come up with a policy for domestic violence?

20 years?

So why did it take only two years to come up with a UNANIMOUSLY VOTED ON penalty for athletes protesting during the anthem?

Ah. No need to answer that one.


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