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Good day Bossip readers! This young lady is seeking advice. Take a look and leave your thoughts!

Dear Bossip,

I need some advice. I’ve been in a relationship for going on 4 years. Before him I had dated around but nothing serious at all. He is my first and only lover. No one else even came close to getting the goodies but, with him, it just felt right. I love him with all my heart and I can see and feel how much he loves and adores me. My problem is… I guess.. curiosity and the fear of not knowing. Like I said, I’ve never had another serious relationship but I find myself wondering what it would be like more than I am comfortable with. I feel so stupid. Here I am with this great guy any girl would kill to have but I’m thinking about everything else but him. In my defense, I feel that if I don’t date around some more then I will be cheating myself out of experiencing life. I’m 23 and I’m really just starting to live. On the other hand, what if he is supposed to be the one? I don’t want to leave him out of curiosity and hurt him and ruin a good thing. Hell, even if he’s not “the one” I still would never want to hurt him. I love and respect him and he just doesn’t deserve any of that………….. I wish I could just freeze him in time, get this out of my system, then bring him back to life. Funny thing is, I guess I don’t really expect to find anyone better. I mean, besides superficial things like a perfect body, a huge bank account and a “you can have whatever you like” attitude, finding another man who is just genuinely a good man like him would be, I believe, close to a damn miracle….. BUT, what if? I guess I’m hoping to read about other girls in my situation who left and it was the worst decision they’ve ever made…. or married women who can assure me that even if I did date around, my curiosity would still be there. Better yet, someone just peak into the damn future for me and tell me what’s behind door 1 and what’s behind door 2!! It’s coming to a head now because I caught him looking at rings online. He closed the screen out and I pretended I didn’t see… Please Help!

P.S. Yes, I’ve thought about just cheating but that is out of the question. 1) Too many diseases. 2) If I tell him up front it’d be harder but at least he’d still respect me enough to give us another chance in the future if that’s what it came down to.

Sincerely,
Just a girl trying to get it right.

Hey, Just a girl trying to get it right. The first question you should ask yourself is: are you ready to be married? Marriage is a massive commitment that is meant to stand the test of time, is this someone you’re willing to invest your life and time with? It sounds like you’ve got yourself a good guy who has goals that include a marriage with you. There are plenty of good guys out there, but are you really willing to forfeit your relationship of four years to satisfy your curiosity? It kills cats. Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who’s found your life partner early in life.

It just sounds like you need to take some time and get to know what you want at this point in your life. You are only 23 years old and have the rest of your life ahead of you, so naturally you feel the need to explore and try new things … experience what it’s like to date and live the single life. But understand that there are several single women who would absolutely love to scoop up a good man who wants a marriage and family. How do you know he will give you another chance if you leave? How would it make you feel if you decided to part ways thinking he’s waiting for you and find that he’s moved on with someone else? Then it would be the classic story of “I let the good one get away.”

In a nutshell, the grass is hardly greener on the other side of the fence so think long and hard about this. Evaluate the pros and cons of leaving and staying and make your decision based on that. What do you think this young lady should do, Bossip readers? Remember to e-mail your topics and questions to loveandrelationships@bossip.com!

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