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Gene Simmons performs the national anthem before the Oakland Raiders vs. San Diego Chargers game at Coliseum in Oakland, Calif. on Monday, Sept. 10, 2012. (Jose Carlos Fajardo/Staff)

Source: MediaNews Group/Contra Costa Times via Getty Images / Getty

Gene Simmons Puts Ice Cubes In His Cereal

The devil comes in many forms. Beware.

Only someone as evil and sinister as Beelzebub himself could conjure up such an ungodly recipe for breakfast.

Yesterday, Twitter erupted at the sight of KISS rock legend Gene Simmons’ public query about the different ways to eat cereal…

What in the name of Capt. Crunch is happening here?! We’re sorry but the idea of white people, who have historically been chided for their lack of food seasoning, attempting to season their CEREAL with ICE CUBES is so far beyond the pale that we’re having a REALLY hard time trusting their ability to make sound decisions.

Imagine if a white person who puts ice cubes in cereal were to become, we don’t know, say–President of the United States. Who KNOWNS what kind of trifling condiments Bernie Sanders is putting on his lobster roll (probably mustard, ew), or what disgusting desecration that Pete Buttigieg has been ladling onto his salads (probably tartar sauce, ew).

This MUST stop, people! For the love of God, have a conversation with the white people in your life. Vet their culinary choices, intervene and explain how dangerous they are to our country. If they don’t hear you or attempt to gaslight you about their eating habits, you may need to end that relationship. Get out…while you still can…



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