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Stay ON the weeeeeeeee-duh!

Stephen A. Smith will have to come up with a new anti-marijuana mantra if the NFL Players Association ratifies the collective bargaining agreement that is currently being voted on.

According to ProFootballTalk, if fifty-percent plus 1 of all current NFLPA members vote to approve the new CBA then for the next ten years players will be safe from suspension if they test positive for that good kush or any other substance of abuse. In place of suspensions, fines will be administered for positive tests.

Essentially saying, if players want to smoke bad enough then they will have to pay handsomely for it, but they will still get to suit up on Sunday, Monday, and Thursday.

Here’s how it will work:

Players in stage one of the program who test positive face no penalty at all, other than being advanced to stage two. In stage two, positive tests result only in fines.

For the first violation, the player loses one half of a game check. For the second violation, he loses a week’s pay. For the third violation, it’s two weeks’ salary. For the fourth and all subsequent violations, it’s a three-game fine. While that can get expensive, the player will still be allowed to play.

Suspensions under the new CBA arise only from a failure to cooperate with testing or clinical care while in stage two, and a suspension happens only at the fourth violation (three games). The fifth violation results in a four-game suspension, the sixth violation triggers an eight-game suspension, and the seventh violation leads to banishment for at least a year.

This could be a historic move for the NFL and further proof to lawmakers and Bible-thumpers that ain’t nothin’ wrong with gettin’ geeked off God’s green earth.


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