Dear Bossip: My Boy’s Girl is Making Passes at Me!

- By Bossip Staff

Finally! A letter from a male reader! Bossip fam, what do you think this man should do?

What up Bossip. I am probably the first man to write in to your site but I can’t really talk to my boys about the subject at hand. I have a history of sleeping with women that one of my boys (from the second grade) had eyes for. I know it’s not right and I’ve gone out of my way to correct my behavior because I value our friendship. Boys before breezys. He’s got this chick he’s been with for a while now( he’s talking marriage) and lately she’s been making passes at me. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, we were in my kitchen and she got too close and rubbed her booty on me. I know she did it on purpose and I don’t know if it was because she had been drinking, but even when she’s sober, she be giving me that “look” and talking slick on the low. I want to tell my boy that she’s scandalous but I have such a crazy past as it relates to women with him. My question is, do I say something to her? Do I say something to him? Or do I let it ride?

That’s tricky. Your friend has trust issues with you and his women so telling him may not be the best way to go. If you do tell him, he may not believe you or think that this is an attempt for you to express a hidden attraction towards his lady. This could further his distrust with you and his women interests. You could tell him, but know that it could cost you your friendship. In his eyes, here you go snatching up the girl he’s really digging … again! Even though, this time, you’re really trying to warn him of his girlfriend’s indiscretions. If you do decide to tell him evidence, in some capacity, would be helpful because it can’t be denied.

You could say something to her if she tries to push up on you or talk reckless again. Let her know that if it continues, you’re going to tell him what she’s been doing. But if you do this, you run the risk of her playing the victim to your friend and, once again, you’re trying to get at his girl!

The best thing to do is keep your distance. Hang with your boy without the girl. Go out of your way to stay away from her until the relationship runs its course or until she understands that you’re avoiding her. Your friend will see the light eventually but you don’t have to be the one to shine it!

What do you think Bossip fam? Should he say something or remain silent?

Remember to e-mail your topic suggestions, feedback and questions to!

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  • Sachelle


  • Caitlin


  • Choco

    I think avoiding her is good advice and I hope that he has truly changed and won’t weaken to her advances…I wouldn’t tell his friend but I would try to implie it somehow…so that when ish does hit the fan dude is somewhat in the know…

  • TaiMega

    Just tell your boy straight up, and do not hold anything back. Honesty is always the answer, even when the truth may hurt someone. At least its all on the table. Maybe this chick is already cheating on him and he doenst even know. If you have to monitor your chick then she isnt the right one to make wifey. He wil appreciate you for raising his awareness before he makes the ultimate mistaje of trying to turn a hoe into a house wife.

  • KeepNit2Real

    That takes knowing your boy.

    I had a girl do the same thing to me once when we all went to dinner. She was from out of town looking for a good time…AND a potential hubby!

    Neither of us was tryna lock down wifey so when he noticed what she was doing, he even stepped to ME and was like:”Yo, I see ol girl given you the eye. this my situation for real with this girl…”

    We talked and come to find out he had been tryna off her for a minute but she was pressing this “marriage” thing really hard.

    The dude was young, fresh out of law school…wasn’t even thinking about this girl, and neither was I.

    She eventually found her a man, and we both still boys till today. We never had a problem with those situations because this world has about 7 billion people walking the globe.

    We don’t trip. go find one.

  • O_Gany

    beat the Hoe!!!

  • Sachelle

    Poor thing, that really is tricky. If your boys talking about marry that chick, i think you should step in and tell him what that chicks been doing to you. Say it in a ‘i know your my home boy and I’m gone look out for you’ tone; start by saying, ‘i may be wrong but, i think you should know’ kinda thing
    Good Luck Honey

  • zoonation


  • Nique

    Tell your boy!

    If he doesnt believe you..SMASH HER..then tell him

    See if he believes you then.

    Whew…that was easy!

  • Ms.KeshaBoo

    I agree that he should stay away from her and aslo make hints to his boy about o’girl looking at him funny

  • Sachelle

    Poor thing, that really is tricky. If your boys talking about marry that chick, i think you should step in and tell him what that chicks been doing to you. Say it in a ‘i know your my home boy and I’m gone look out for you’ tone; start by saying, ‘i may be wrong but, i think you should know’ kinda thing
    Good Luck Honey

  • pynk♥{sugar}

    Is this about Bg? lol. Nah, I’m just kidding.

    Keeping away from her is the way to go. Triflin’ trollop… 😡

  • Nique

    Tell your boy!

    If he doesnt believe you-SMASH HER..then tell him

    And see if he believes you then!

    Whew-that was easy!

  • Redd Tony

    She rubbed her booty on your huh? thats funny!! Ive been in that position before, just tell ya boy so he can talk to her. If she still does it, tell ya boy again. If she keeps doing it well tell him again and be like, if she come at me again and wanna f*ck ima

  • Redd Tony

    As a matter of fact, just go ahead and dump her. She cant keep her a** to herself…lol

  • Sydney™


    “Is this about Bg? lol. Nah, I’m just kidding.”

    LMAO, I thought the same thing. Didn’t he just mention that same scenario?

    I have to wonder about some of these “letters.” This is a gossip site, not “Dear Abby.” 🙂

  • tiger sez...

    SMASH it !!!

  • drenk


  • heygurrrl!

    UMMM, First you a hoe and even though you have changed you ways, your past has come back to haunt you. So now it will be harder for ya boy to believe you.

    Against my better judgement… I say ignore her an she will stop. Or bring a your girlfriend around for a double date and I PROMISE you that your girl will pick up on the vibe you friends girl is giving off. Than she can set her straight!! Then you are off the hook and you didnt even have to say a word!!

  • heygurrrl!

    @ DAyWalKer

    Hey baby!

  • JB(Tiger Woods!! Pimp of the Year at the next Player's Ball!)

    Ok which one of you wrote this letter?


    ugh I hate females like that…..

  • Hey Hey

    I think you should say something. Let him know -“I understand that we’ve had some trust issues when it comes to women, but you need to know that she may not be for you.”

    I mean, he’s talking marriage. Hell if you deny the chick she may get mad and lie on you. It will be harder for him to believe you if she goes to him first. I also agree that some evidence is a good idea too.
    But if he’s really your friend, don’t let him standy and marry homegirl. He’ll thank you later.

  • Du Juan&Only

    Brother man, your better off telling your boy. Its better if he hears it from YOU. If you wait to long or don’t pay attention to his girl, or give in to her demands she may decide to drop a bomb on you…Think about it.She does come of a bit scanty.

  • Amyyyyy

    Let it ride. Just ignore her and don’t tell your boy. She’ll eventually get the piture that you’re not gonna hit! Just let it go and stay away from her!

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