Earl Thomas and Seth Thomas caught having sex with two women by their wives

Source: Abbie Parr / Getty

Earl Thomas is a real piece of work. Today is Earl’s birthday and he’s probably not getting any cake considering how much he’s had recently…

According to a police report that TMZ obtained, on April 13, 2020 the married Baltimore Ravens baller found himself in quite a pickle and that pickle found itself inside a couple of women who were not his wife. We promise to God we cannot make this s#!t up. Here goes…

Earl and his wife Nina Teresa Baham-Heisser (a VERY befitting name but we’ll get back to that in a second) had gotten into an argument about his drinking which resulted in him leaving their home with his brother Seth. Nina wondered, naturally, where the f**k Earl was going, so she did what many wives would do to find their husband these days, she checked social media. Snapchat to be specific. Upon opening the app, Nina saw that Earl was posted up with some women she considers to be “hoes”. Well, as you can imagine, seeing that made Nina very upset. So upset, in fact, that Nina grabbed a “Nina” (Earl’s 9mm Beretta pistol), rounded up a cavalry of her girlfriends, including Seth’s (maybe) wife, and pulled up with a stick to get to the bottom of this s#!t.

Nina, being the resourceful woman that she is, used the Snapchat to track down Earl’s location (you can DO that?!?) and went right to the ritzy Airbnb where they found BOTH Earl AND Seth in the same bed, butt-booty naked, having sex with two women. Two brothers having simultaneous sex in the same bed with two women sounds like one of Brian Pumper’s wettest dreams, but we digress.

Earl’s wife was not, we repeat, NOT there to play with anybody. The police report says she put the 9mm right to Earl’s head “to scare him”. In reality, she’s the one who should have been scared because she told the cops that she removed the magazine from the gun thinking it wouldn’t shoot, but didn’t realize there was a bullet already chambered. There is video of the incident and cops say you can clearly see Nina’s finger on the trigger with the safety off. “Scare” turns to first-degree murder real quick. Eventually, Earl was able to wrestle the gun away from her but not before taking a couple of punches to the nose.

Cops arrived at the Austin, Texas home at 3:41am (which says a lot about Nina’s girlfriends’ willingness to ride or die) saying “we observed that a black female wearing an orange sweater with a knife in her hand, later identified as Nina Thomas, was chasing a shirtless black male, later identified as Earl Thomas, with a pistol in his hand around a vehicle.” One of Nina’s friends was said to be in wildly swinging a knife as well. Police drew guns and ordered all parties to drop their weapons, all complied without further incident.

Earl’s alleged mistress told police during an interview that Nina also pointed the gun at them and screamed out…wait for it…”I GOT SOMETHING FOR ALL YOU HOES!”. Nina and her Set It Off posse were arrested and charged with burglary of a residence with intent to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and family violence, Earl was not. Nina was also hit with an order to stay 200 yards away from Earl, which is about the number of yards of d**k he might have given up to his wide-receiving mistress.

The following was posted-then-deleted on Nina’s Instagram account.

TMZ spoke to Nina’s lawyer who had this to say:

“I am here to declare that my client unequivocally and categorically denies these allegations and we look forward to our day in court where we can clear her good name.”

For his part, Earl took to Instagram to post this video message:

Told you we couldn’t make this s#!t up. Oh, also, there are jokes. Lots and lots of jokes.

Earl has strayed very far from this moment…

Gonna be tough to explain this to the kids…

…hell, gonna be tough to explain this to Russell Wilson as he and Ciara attended Earl and Nina’s wedding.