Jesus Take The Wheel

- By Bossip Staff

Posted by Bossip Staff

This is Alan Patton, Urine Connoisseur:

Police charged a northwest Columbus man with criminal mischief for allegedly planning to collect young boys’ urine and drink it. Alan Patton was recently spotted in restrooms at Sports Ohio two weeks ago. According to a police report, Patton, 56, the female employee recognized him as the same man she saw the previous week “putting Saran Wrap on toilets and cups in urinals.”

The employee called police and found Patton walking out of a restroom stall with a black duffle bag.

In 1994, Patton pleaded guilty to a charge of gross sexual imposition against an 8-year-old boy. He served four years in prison and was labeled a sex offender. Then, in 2006, Patton was caught at a Gahanna movie theater and was accused of watching little boys urinate. Police said that Patton admitted to collecting boys’ urine and even paid them for it. Patton was charged with voyeurism.

Police said that Patton would turn the water to the urinals off, place a cup inside and then collect the urine after a boy went to the bathroom.

Woah – this cat is highly deranged. Let’s get this straight, he’s a fan of the mellow yellow, who carries his contraband around in a duffel bag. Where have we heard this before?


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  • No Condom Needed(Aids,White People and The "Fanta" Soft-Drink Dancers, were all created in a lab)

    Lol Wow, He should sell his bodies part now, so his family can at least live decently, because he won’t last long in prison

  • Lisa

    ohhh YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK! Obviously, he is a very sick individual!

  • My son's parole officer said it's gonna be alright!

    He needs deliverance!!! That is soooo nasty!!!

  • locgirl


  • lil latte

    Who in the hell does this nasty stuff??? This man is sick

  • I'm Just Me

    LMAOOOOO!!! OMG! That is crazy. People are really freaky deaky out here! Collecting urine in a cup and drinking out. Isn’t that poisionous? There is no end to people’s craziness.

  • Aunt Viv

    JesusMaryandJoseph that may be one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard. Yeah, he won’t last long in jail-lil’ boy urine withdrawal n’ all…gross.

  • No Condom Needed(Aids,White People and The "Fanta" Soft-Drink Dancers, were all created in a lab)

    I thought he was running a false drug-testing pyramid scam

  • Moreaces

    I thought he was running a false drug-testing pyramid scam



  • Juicy R♥

    what a pervert!!!

    not to sound racist but white men think of the most outrageous sick stuff to do humans.


    He needed the pee to wash down the slice of sh&% he ate.

  • Aunt Viv

    LMAO@No Condom Needed!!!!!!

  • mojojojo

    mmmmmm Tangy!!! Lmao sorry i had to lmaoooooo

    sick ass cracker ass crackers lol


    SICK A$$ MOFO.

  • Lauren

    Main Entry: scopophilia

    Part of Speech: n

    Definition: sexual stimulation or satisfaction from looking at naked people, most often without their knowledge; a love of looking at people in this way; also called scoptophilia, voyeurism

    Etymology: Greek skopeo ‘to view’


    Wow I had to look that one up!

  • LoveMeBaby

    How are sick people like this allowed to continue to walk the streets. I hope someone hangs him upside down from his D**K when he gets to jail. Dumbass pedophiles.

  • Meeko From Detroit

    uh is that Negrodamus. im getting confused….whats happening to you bro. you provide my laugh of the day. i tell my internet friends to look out for you and then i see your pic on somebody else.

    is he a fake. give us the real Negrodamus

  • WhatsYoursIsMine

    What is it with sickos and their obessions of the underaged? Find someone your own age with your “preferences” and leave the unsuspecting children out of it.

  • glok9n


  • Lauren

    @ Negrodamus, stop changing your name, be an original your other names are wack as hell anyway….we love you just the way you are… 😆

  • Hannibal

    Just let the man be! If people actually want Obama to be president they mind as well let this guy go about his business!

  • ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    Man this is about one of the sickest human on the planet..everytime i see a white person i lock my car doors!

  • ms braided beauty chicagos own chi town stepper

    @ Brooklyn…. whats up bro? @ slide like a new pair of gaters….. you in the building my man.. i just love typing out your name!!!

  • kprincessk

    lol @ urine connoissuer!

  • K-ten

    LOL @ ms braided beauty!!!

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