$626 Million Settlement Approved For Flint Water Crisis Victims

Authorities in Flint, Michigan, still appear to be trying their damndest to make amends for allowing the city’s citizens to go years without access to clean water.

Source: Brett Carlsen / Getty

In 2019,  $77.7 million in federal funding was allocated to making improvements in Flint’s water infrastructure, but that gesture didn’t put coins directly into the pockets of the victims of the crisis. Well, on Wednesday, a federal judge approved a massive settlement that will provide $626.25 million to tens of thousands of Flint residents who were impacted by the city’s essentially poisonous water supply.

According to CBS News, United States District Judge Judith E. Levy approved on Wednesday what is one of the largest settlements in Michigan’s history.

“The settlement reached here is a remarkable achievement for many reasons, not the least of which is that it sets forth a comprehensive compensation program and timeline that is consistent for every qualifying participant, regardless of whether they are members of a class or are non-class individuals represented by their own counsel,” Levy said in a statement.

Not only are adults and children who can prove injury after being exposed to lead eligible to receive compensation, but any of the city’s residents who paid water bills during the crisis are eligible as well.

After all, how are you going to make people pay a utility bill when they’ve been drinking water turned into poison like it was anointed by some kind of anti-Jesus?

Anyway, the settlement was first announced last year by Attorney General Dana Nessel and Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, who acknowledged in a statement that “this settlement may not completely provide all that Flint needs, and that many will still feel justifiable frustration with a system and structure that at times is not adequate to fully address what has happened to people in Flint over the last six years.”

So basically, this money doesn’t undo all the harm caused by the water crisis, but it’s a damn good and long-overdue start.